Ice breaking

[Shivers]

Im shy at approaching girls that i really want to, but with anyone else im quite eccentric and outgoing.

It just as soon as i start to fall for a girl, it becomes incredibly hard to do.I dont fear rejection, i guess im just not sure how to start up the conversation,

Some advice on approaches would be much appreciated

[Bonfire]

The way I do it is I go by whatever is happening around us and I simply improvised. I'll give you same examples so you get the idea:

For instance, if she is walking a dog, then I stop and say "that dog is so cute, what's kind of dog is it?" Then I go from there..

If I was sitting at a bar and say a cute girl sits near by, I will say to her "Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you make sure no one takes my seat? It's my favorite spot in the place" Then I go run off somewhere.. and when I come back, I thank her for helping me and ask what's her name and go from there to find out more about her.

You can also open with some humor. Let's say you are in school and you see a cute girl reading a book at the cafeteria. You get an ice from the soda machine, go up to her and smash that ice on the table and say "Now that I break ice, how about telling me your name?" She probably laugh at you but she'll remember you for sure. And since this is school, you'll run into her again. When you see her, give her a wave. Once you notice she starts smiling and starring at you when you two pass the hall, then offer to walk her to class but this time talk like you really want to know her and not just a goof ball. And when you can feel she is warming up to you, then ask to hang out or invite her to some activities you were going.

That's the basics there... learn to improvise and think on the spot, don't try and remember some set of questions or lines. The more you train yourself to think on your feet, the better you will get at doing it naturally.

[greentea11]

Yeah I can relate. Its hard to be the real you. The best advice I can give you is just dive into it. I really liked this guy and I was so nervous when he asked me to come see his band play. I got there and I was ready to turn around and go home. I was shaking and tense. My friend dragged me in there and then when he walked past me I saw him and pushed him playfully and he laughed and I wasnt as nervous anymore. I think shy people freak themselves out too much. We over think because we want to be prepared for anything that could happen. But if you practice and be brave and go for it things will get better and better. Good luck

[VincenzoG91]

Shivers, try approaching more women more often. Not just the ones that you are immediately attracted to, but women in general. I don't mean that you should hit on all of them, just engage them in conversation. Get more comfortable talking to women in general and you will be less likely to freeze up when you are talking to a woman that you find attractive.

[bulrush]

Here are some topics for small talk:
- Her hobbies
- Stuff she likes: food, movies, books, music, drinks
- Pets she might have
- Classes she is taking
- Compliment her on her clothes
- Avoid religion and politics. These are very personal.
- Talk about fun trips you took
- Talk about funny situations in your past
- Have you or any relatives been on national TV? Talk about that.
- Have you released music or written books on Amazon? Talk about that.
- Have you written for a magazine? Talk about that.
- Have you ever come close to dying? That might be interesting. I came across a fer de lance snake in Belize, and took its picture. I did not now it was a fer de lance, and I did not know if bitten, I would be dead before the ambulance got me to the hospital. With a FDL you have about 20 minutes to live.

If you need to, write these down on a card, and put it in your car. When you go to a function, bar, etc, review these in the car, then go to the function. Remember one word "keys" for each topic like: hobbies, food, movies, music, drinks, pets, classes.