I honestly don't know what to do and it's making me sick...literally.

[Hipnotica]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. 2 weeks ago, I told him a big secret (I rather not say) that I have been keeping from him. It ruined our relationship big time. We wanted to go our separate ways but the both of us couldn't because we're too in love with each other. So we decided to stay together and try to move forward.

By the way, we are in a long distance relationship. He's in the military in North Carolina. I was planning on moving there in the summer. Anyway...

Each and everyday, I have this big guilt on my shoulders because of this stupid secret I kept from him. It kills me inside. I've been so insecure about myself that I haven't even been myself around him. He doesn't want me sexually like he did before that secret and it breaks my heart. I don't say anything about it because I feel like I shouldn't have a say in it.

Just yesterday, I found out he was on a online dating site. I saw it and I just wanted to burst into tears. I decided to test him and made a fake account with fake pictures. I messaged him and he talked to me. I started asking him if he wanted to hang out Saturday night and maybe we could fool around and take it to another step. He was all for it. He even asked if he could bring his friends. I then decided to add more to it and asked him to come over now and he said he would. After that, he then asked me (he was on the phone while all this was happening but still had no clue it was me) "Des, do you wanna go to bed?" I nearly wanted to just break down and cry but I kept it inside and said, "No I don't." And he never said anything else.

I went back to that fake account and gave him a fake address and told him that I would be waiting besides a 2002 red eclipse. He then messaged me back and said, "Ok I'll be pulling up in a black challenger " He doesn't own a black challenger. He owns a grand am. I always told him that I wanted to a black challenger. I know he has a feeling it was me behind that account because I use to have a silver 2002 eclipse and his car is red. So that's why he put a black challenger. After that, I never messaged him back nor did he message me back. But I check back and he's ALWAYS online on that site!

He updated his profile with this:

"Just your average 20 something year old guy. I have a career and it allows me to live pretty well =) Not necessarily looking for anything BUT IF I WAS. It would be for a woman. Im tired of messing with little girls. With that said if you're under at least 22 dont expect much from me. Not saying that everyone younger than that is immature but I've found that the likelyhood is far far greater." (I'm 23 and he's 26)

I know for sure he has not cheated on me before but now that I told him this secret, I know he wants to.

I know some of are you going to ask, ""Why are you even with this guy??" The answer to that is that I'm in love. This guy is my world. Before that secret, it was perfect. He was the perfect man in this world. We were even going to get married in 2011 and live together.

I don't know why I'm posting this on here... I think it's because I just need to vent and I can't tell my friends because they will think I'm crazy.

[broken9]

this situation is really complicated... look no one here knows who you are or anything, this is anonymous!!! if only you could let us know a little more about your secret we could help... b/c its your secret that messed everything up and we dont even know what it is...

[Hipnotica]

Well, my boyfriend and I met through Myspace 4 years ago. At that time, I was 19 years old and I was... using someone else's photos. We started dating but I didn't think anything of it because I just figured it was an online fling until it got serious. I was wanting to tell him my secret for so long but I never had the guts to because I was afraid of what he would do and say. I finally told him 2 weeks ago and I think it ruined our relationship.

It's embarrassing to say but I need advice bad. After that secret, I wanted to break it off but he kept telling me, "No Des, don't. I can't live without you. I don't care about this anymore. I'm mad but I wanna be with you." so I decided to stay.


I just don't understand why he wants to be with me yet he's talking to other girls online...

[Horseyguy]

ok now I'm confused, have you ever met him in real life?

Surely he would know the photos were not of you if he had met you?

I'm confused

[broken9]

Well, my boyfriend and I met through Myspace 4 years ago. At that time, I was 19 years old and I was... using someone else's photos. We started dating but I didn't think anything of it because I just figured it was an online fling until it got serious. I was wanting to tell him my secret for so long but I never had the guts to because I was afraid of what he would do and say. I finally told him 2 weeks ago and I think it ruined our relationship.

It's embarrassing to say but I need advice bad. After that secret, I wanted to break it off but he kept telling me, "No Des, don't. I can't live without you. I don't care about this anymore. I'm mad but I wanna be with you." so I decided to stay.


I just don't understand why he wants to be with me yet he's talking to other girls online...

wait what?! Im a little confused... didnt you say you guys know each other in person... how was that a secret?

[Hipnotica]

lol no I never said we knew each other in person. That really is the big secret. :S

[broken9]

lol no I never said we knew each other in person. That really is the big secret. :S

why would you want to waste your time on someone who only cares about you b/c of the way you look, has he seen what you look like?
online or not... I guess you could say he is cyber cheating on you... lol... I mean you lied to him for 4 years, but you gave him the option to leave and he said no, so now its his fault, so you should leave him... have some dignity and move on!

[GK001]

wtf? his your E-boy friend? like if some pixels in online games getting married in game you would think they are husband and wife? lol how do you go on a "date" online?!?

[qwertz]

Lol This is ridiculous, you have never met and likely never will. How can you plan to move in with someone who you have never met!!!!?

Go out and meet people in the real world.

edit: "he doesnt want me sexually like he did before" ......

[so1o]

Hey Hipnotica,

This is a difficult situation for both of you, I imagine. Do you have an update for us? How are things going presently?

Hope all is well.

[HeartIsAching]

Fuuuuuu........ seriously?

[VincenzoG91]

You need to date locally and face-to-face. This online-only relationship is worthless.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Wow. Just...wow.

[smackie9]

I've seen this kind of post before but it was from the guy that was mislead. He basically couldn't love the true person because she was not the person he fell in love with. Everyone bashed him because those idiots thought what's inside counts and not looks, but I have to disagree. Looks is part of the package hands down. I have to say shame on you for misleading this poor guy. You are a stupid selfish cow....how dare you use this poor guy like that. Now here you are looking for help for yourself...what about the emotional damage you have done to him? I'm glad he's moving on because he deserves better. Good luck GF, I truly hope you can get you head out of your ass long enough to learn something from this.