Is This normal?

[FireAndRain23]

Okay so i met this guy online,we became chat buddies ,met threw a chatroom, few months later we become closer and closer. We started off as friends online as well as phone converstations,we fell for one another.10 months later I finally decided to meet him we didnt meet bc of my own personal issues he never pressured me. Now that we met which is a hard situation bc im not in a stable place right now nor is he but we love eachother,hes made some mistakes and so have I.On my birthday acually the night before he wanted to hang out together which we did,he had his friend meet up with us,which Ithought wasn't the ideal romantic "date" I envisioned,went to another place met up with my sister and her friend and they didnt like the place nor did I,so i ended up saying that i wanted to leave.So instead he stood with his friend.I pretty much was angry and couldnt believe his poor judgement he wanted to take me out so why stay with his friend?.After him apologizing and admitting he was wrong we made a mends.Now fast forward to two weeks later,we had a disagreement pretty much of my expectations from him and me not meeting his(I dont have a cell phone pretty hard to contact someone and i havent had one in a long time im in a slumb trying to get out but i am a procrasonator not really in a situation to be in a realtionship but i love him ) So we basically talked for a whole 20 minutes,and then went to watch a baseball game.So of course that upset me ( we see eachother once a week). I had to go home which the game had 2 innings left they were losing,so i said okay im going to go,he decided to watch the game i looked at him and asked "youd rather watch the game then walk me to my car".I was angry from my birthday to this game I had enough.Werefriends now this guy used to put me first before everything and im confused i dont know if i feel in love with a guy pretending to be my prince charming or who really is but just wants a fair shot?

[vashti]

It sounds like you are expecting more than he is able to give at this time. Maybe he's not a "bad" guy, but rather one who isn't ready for the type of relationship you want.

How old are you?

[FireAndRain23]

25 thankkkkk you for responding i appreciate it im having such a hard time i feel so alone

[vashti]

Aww, try to keep your chin up. It could have been worse - what if you found out that he was this immature after you married him? better to find out now, and cut your losses.

[FireAndRain23]

yeah well it could have been worse true ..i guess you get what you give ive been immature and made mistakes now that im on the receving end doesnt feel so good lol i just want to focus on myself and things i need to do and then give it another try bc i do adore him

[Junket]

I was trying to edit her post to make it easier to read, but I couldn't tell where one sentence ended and another started.

Shame, 'cause people don't care to read babble.

[FireAndRain23]

Frasbee i'll take your advice and post one easier to read .Maybe then you can offer some advice =)

[FireAndRain23]

Okay im desperate someone please some advice?

[vashti]

Did you tell your boyfriend you didn't want to spend your birthday with his friends before that night??

[FireAndRain23]

No, i had no idea about his friend,we knew afterwards wed meet up with my sister to this place we wanted to go to,it wasnt to my liking too hot really young crowd.So i said i didnt like the place i was leaving my sister and her friend another girl, and he just said okay bye i'll see you tommorow then i texted him how I was upset and how it wasn't working he said he was sorry bad judgement( everytime we do hang out its usually afterwards we have my sis around for reasons of i have a strict family so i cant blame him but it was the night before my bday ).We got back then the whole watching the baseball game at the bar and i had to leave he stood, then i said this just isnt working .We're friends now,I need to work on things as does he Im not in the most stable comfortable place to be in a realtionship and now he has some issues of his own.Kind of like a big ole circle.

My sister consitently brings up what he did for my birthday and makes me feel as if he doesnt care for me(she basically says he treats me like shit since he did that..the night of the getting together i got into a huge argument over seeing him bc she was my ride/alliby hes been nothing but nice to her hes taken us both out to dinner) and says he can tell im vulnerable and naive and he doesnt care for me he isnt a nice person.I also ask her well what would he gain? weve spoken on the internet for 10 months i just meet him about 3 months ago im not sexually active and (he knows i wont be untill im marriedhe hasnt pressured me) she said oh he thinks you'll have sex with him Then i say well he can have sex with anyone why would he go threw all that? then she makes a rude comment about his pyhsical looks blah blah blah but its my life if he is or isnt i feel like she shouldnt use that against me and make me feel bad

.I used to be his number one now for the past few months its changed he basically blames it on stress and how i want so many things yet its not the easiest for him,which i see.She also says that he isnt a nice person,but this guy has been here for me and been an amazing friend,told me to basically take control of my own life and do what makes me happy.Its a hard situation but i truly do adore this man and i dont care what anyone thinks bc my heart tells me he cares for me.Why else would he spend so many hours talking to me,leaving his friends to speak to me whenever i called,staying up till the am when he had to be at work,whenever i had aproblem always gave me a positive out look and been here for me He never pressured me to meet him or anything he gave me 100% .Thats why i joined this forum i'm looking for other opinons.Sorry for the long post thanks

[FireAndRain23]

basically i do expect the world from him and i think hes had enough giving and wants me to keep up my end of the side.what do you think? and he does care for me bc if he didnt why would he go threw all this?

[vashti]

It sounds like you need to be more assertive about expressing what it is you want. If what you *really* wanted to do on your birthday was for just the two of you to go out, you should have said so before that evening. Also, it is a little hard to expect him not to have friends meet with you when your sister is always there. Sisters aren't romantic, either, you know!

I don't know what the story is with your sister, but it sounds like she has very strong opinions... I'm not sure if this is because she is right, and your boyfriend is an ass, or if she is just over-involved with your romantic life and needs some boundaries to be set. I can't tell - based on what you posted - if your boyfriend is a jerk or not... I think if you speak up about what you want, you will soon find out, though. If you had TOLD him you wanted to spend your birthday with just the two of you, and he disregarded your request, then he would be a jerk, and your sister would be right.

[FireAndRain23]

no i didnt say to him just for us he just pretty much begger me to see him and i did..his friend came later on about one hour into it he just came back for vaction and they were supposed to hang out but then he was in the area and called him .she thinks he should jump or do anything i say bc thats how it should be pretty much ,she liked him when she met him and told him to his face she was wrong (before meeting him from aol she just didnt like him shes overprotective)

[FireAndRain23]

She goes back and forth like it just doesnt make sense on why she doesnt like him,"her first instinct" from the internet she never even spoke to him,or bc he is using me? just whatever im 25 i can make my own decisions,im just confused and i think way too much thanks