passion gone?

[rockit2]

Hi all,

My girlfriend and I are both mid-twenties.

We have a great relationship and both love each other however the sex has diminished and she says she doesn't feel the "passion" she once felt. However she doesn't want to break up and wants to work on it to get it back. She also says she's not sure it will ever be back but doesn't want to loose me because she "loves everything else about our relationship." So my question is two-fold: Is it possible to regain this kind of passion, and how does one go about facilitating that.

Thanks

[malteser]

Personally I believe that once the passion has gone it is very difficult to get it back. It's important that you do though because otherwise your relationship becomes more like a brother/sister relationship and inevitably will not work out. Perhaps you could start experimenting in the bedroom, try new things that you've never done before, ask eachother what fantasies would turn you on.

[bulrush]

Do you mean sexual passion? Or that excitement/passion you felt when you were first going out?

You have to take action to get either back. That initial "new relationship" rush is hard to get back at that same level, but you can try. Do new things together. What new things do you want to try? Go to the jungle? Rappel into a cenote? Zipline at the top of the jungle trees? White water rafting? Try a new hobby?

As far as passion in the bedroom, try fetlife.com. It's a social website for kinky stuff. Plenty of ideas there. The basic membership is free and you get a lot for it. And remember: safety first. Don't try something dangerous unless you read up about it.

I have to ask: is your gf open-minded enough to try new things? Costumes maybe? Let's be honest. Some girls are just plain boring vanilla.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

First off, you do not have a great relationship, so don't try to sell us that lie. A great relationship involves sexual passion, which you've stated does not exist. Stop wasting your time with her, and start moving on before you start to resent her and things turn really ugly. A relationship without sex is a friendship. Simply tell her that, and that if she wants to stay friends than that's cool, but you're going to move on romantically since she no longer loves you. Don't let her hold your emotions hostage, while she looks for another guy so she can drop you without regret. Start moving on, because that is what she is doing whether she realizes it or not. She's already said she's not attracted to you, so when she bumps into someone that sets her panties on fire, you're history.

[bulrush]

First off, you do not have a great relationship, so don't try to sell us that lie. A great relationship involves sexual passion, which you've stated does not exist. Stop wasting your time with her, and start moving on before you start to resent her and things turn really ugly.

I disagree. It's not hard to get that sexual passion back, if you are open to trying new things. Geez, if I did the same old hump every day I'd get bored too. But I try new things, and that creates excitement.

[Wakeup]

How old are you two, OP?

You need to understand that New Relationship Passion is just that, New relationship passion. Once you get familiar with one another then that new passion feeling will dwindle. It's impossible to keep it going but if you actually are in love with one another then the familiarity and excitement to learn new things with one another is still there. You keep that excitement to be with one another on a sexual level going by not taking each other for granted, by doing things with her that you did when you were first trying to get into her pants, by not sitting on the freaking couch not even looking at one another and then expecting her to be panting for you. Keep it fresh and as if you were still courting her, by actually still courting her.

There are men and women who are dumb and think that when the New Relationship Passion wheres off that they "love their partner but they're not "in love" with them" any longer. These types often become poly in their sexual life because they become addicted to "strange." In otherwords they always need that new passion and they are forever seeking it out so, know how to keep things fresh and exciting and when she talks about "passion" explain to her how new relationship passions cannot be sustained forever and it doesn't matter who she is with it will diminish everytime once familiarity comes into play.