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Thread: Not sure if this is the right thing to do...

  1. #1
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    Not sure if this is the right thing to do...

    This is probably an unusual story and you would wonder why i even bothered to type it out.

    Basically i somehow met this girl (Hannah) on MSN in the summer of 2005. We talked for a bit and got to know eachother. Then we liked eachother a lot and were talking and texting most of every day. We felt that we should meet in person soon and take it from there, like we didnt have boy/girl friends while we talked to eachother.
    I'll cut past all the details in between because its not really relevent, but basically we stopped talking in summer 2006, and she didnt tell me why. I heard she got a boyfriend etc. Obviously i was really upset about the whole thing, took a while to get over it (sad really) but yea it really upset me.
    It slowly got to a point where i only thought of her maybe once every two weeks, and i was over it. That was around May this year. Then, i cant remember how it happened, i think she text me or something but we started talking again. I felt like i didnt know her anymore but i remembered why i liked her so much when we talked again.
    Well one night, her friend goes on her msn account and starts talking to me, but pretending to be Hannah. I'll cut to the chase here, she basically said that she persuaded Hannah not to talk to me and to find someone else. I asked why and basically what had happened was the whole time i had been talking to Hannah, there were times where her friend went on her msn account and sent me pictures of herself, saying they were of Hannah. If that makes sense. So all the while i thought Hannah looked like she did, it turned out the pictures i were sent were of her friend. Hannah didnt know she was doing this, because she didnt tell her.
    Her friend also said that she came up with the idea to switch identities just for a joke in like the first week of me knowing Hannah, but apparently Hannah didnt want to do it anymore because she felt bad and actually got to like me, but she didnt want to tell me the truth because she feared i would never talk to her again. Even though her friend knew thats how she felt, she still persisted to send pictures of herself, leading me to believe it was Hannah the whole time. Lol this story is so confusing and pathetic, but its all true. ANyway obviously i was really upset, the Hannah i saw in the pictures were her friend the whole time. But Hannah didnt know she was sending them to me.
    I stupidly forgave Hannah for the whole thing because she was influenced by her friend. They are no longer friends anymore though. But ever since i forgave her and carried on as normal, every night i thought about everything ive just typed out, how upset it made me feel etc. Well now i'm older, shes older, and she doesnt seem as likeable as i thought. She doesnt say anything affectionate like she used to, we argue fairly easily. And im thinking, "Is she even worth it?"

    Well we havnt talked much this past 2 weeks because she is doing exams at school and revising a lot. And ive realized im no less happy when im not talking to her. So yesterday i blocked and deleted her msn addy and deleted her phone number. Didnt even tell her i have done it. Well i just recieved an email from her this morning, most of it is chit chat, except these bits:

    "Not spoke to you in what feels like forever. I cant find your addy on my contacts anywhere, have u deld me? Or maybe its my msn playin up. Anyway, you ok?"

    When i read it i felt a wave of guilt. See when i decided to delete her, half of me thought "delete her if you want but tell her why you are going to first", whereas my other half thought, "just do it without saying a word, she deserves to be upset". I kinda want her to be upset, i want her to cry and feel like sh*t, because look what has happened over the past 2 years? I cant hold all the blame for this swapping of identities on her friend.

    So my question is, do i just totally ignore her from now on? Because i could honestly live perfectly fine without her, and that is something i couldnt have done before. Or do i at least tell her why i dont want to talk to her anymore?

    Please reply, sorry for the long read.

  2. #2
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    bump.............

  3. #3
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    Can i get any replies?

  4. #4
    Tedel's Avatar
    Tedel Guest
    LoL... Hey, Eazy, the fact you post something on a forum doesn't mean the world will freeze to give you an answer! Give us a second!

    I've read your post. It seems you need to get rid of the nosy friend a.s.a.p., ask this girl Hannah to change her MSN password and then talk with her in real life before making any other decision.

    If you don't want to go through all that, though, just dump her for good.

    When I say for good, I mean it.

  5. #5
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    Hey, just explain to Hannah that you thought you could get past the mix-up and, although you know it's not her fault, you can't get back what you used to feel and you need to move on.
    The way of love is not a subtle argument.
    The door there is devastation.
    Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom.
    How do they learn it?
    They fall, and falling, they're given wings.

    ~ Rumi

  6. #6
    vashti's Avatar
    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    What makes you so sure her "friend" gave you the wrong photo?

    Anyway, I always think it is best to treat people the way you'd like to be treated. If you don't want to talk to her anymore, tell her you are moving on so she doesn't feel like an idiot for continuing to contact you.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  7. #7
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    Thanks for the replies.
    The whole thing is confusing for me, and must be even more confusing for you. Her friend told me she sent the pics, but im not really bothered about who did what. I suppose i should email her and explain why ive done this, but i think im just going to ignore her and not even hint why im not talking to her anymore. I suppose this is my mean side showing, but i dont care really. Sometimes i miss her a bit like when something happens in my day which i know she would find funny if i told her, but she isnt as great as i used to think. Maybe i shouldnt have done this so close to xmas, but oh well. She should learn that the longer you keep a secret, the worse effect it has when it finally gets out.

  8. #8
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    Omg im missing her loads now. The problem is she wont want to talk to me if i attempt to talk to her. I think ive broken her heart, she said if we neevr met she would be heart broken.

    Dont know what to do, i cant email here or ill look an idiot and maybe i wont even miss her if we did start talking again.

    help!

  9. #9
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    Wait, do I have this right- you've never even met her? I'm sorry, I have to admit I just couldn't sift through your original post, but I think I got the gist.

    You're living in a fantasy world. She's like a character in a book or an actress. Not real. Move on, for God's sake.
    Spammer Spanker

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