jealousy, i'm guilty !

[john_b11]

hello. this is my first post. go easy on me !

well i think i have a jealousy problem. here..
i've never had a girlfriend before my present one. she's had one 'serious' boyfriend for a couple years, then he left her. we are both 20 y.o.

i can't help but to feel jealous of him. when i think about them i feel as if she's cheating on me. i guess i have trouble accepting the fact she's been with someone before me, and i have not. also it doesn't help that he left her, meaning that if he had not, they would still be together. am i crazy or have other people felt this way ?

i've always pictured myself with someone who's never been in a serious relationship, like me.

ok that's it for now. what do you think ?
have a nive day.

[zro]

i have never been a jealous person, but one of my mates has a real jealous streak, especially when it comes to females, he keeps thinking one of his mates is going to steal his girlfriend from him - i try to assure him but it never helps, in his case it was there because back in his younger days, girls used to go for his friends instead of him, so just like most other personality traits, it stemmed from something that happened to him in the past

my advice (which might not be helpful at all, take it or leave it, i dont give a ****) would be to find that root of the problem which from your post seems to be the fact that you havent been with anyone before while she has, whether that is the real cause or not, i dont ****ing know

next look at it from a logical point of view (i am assuming you are a male, so this should be second nature) if she still liked her ex, she would be with him not you, but she is with YOU - that alone should be enough evidence, plus the fact that she had only one relationship by the age of 20 is quite low actually, most people in the west start dating at 14/15 and have at least 3-5 relationships by 20 from my experience, so you get off lucky

[meh]

Well, naturally, you shouldn't feel like "she's cheating on you with him", because you know very well that's not the case. I, however, can't tell you not to be jealous because I'm the jealous kind myself and I know you can't just not be jealous.

As for the fact that he's the one who broke up with her, try to talk to her about it and get a feel of where she stands towards him.

But really, you shouldn't worry about anything. I don't know anything about the woman, but logic dictates that if she's with you, she isn't going to leave you to go back to him, since I can assume you two are in love.

As for the jealousy, just try not to think about it or not to let it bother you.

[Gigabitch]

The more you build your relationship with her, the less you'll think about him. Pretty soon, he'll fade into obscurity. You have to realize that you're ruining the relationship you have right now by obssessing over the past.

Who cares about the past? That guy left her! This is an opportunity for you to show her how much better and more committed you are than him. You can make your relationship better than theirs ever was if you'll only try.

[Sybella]

I understand what its like to be crazy jealous. When my bf and I started dating I was always giving any girl he talked to the evil eye assuming that they wanted him and would try to steal him from me. He has dated quite a few girls in his 22 years while in 25 I have only dated 3 guys so I understand where your coming from. I like to think that I'm the only one he has ever been with while he is the only one I've ever been with. It really is lying to myself but it helps. I don't know if that would help you at all but hey anything is worth a try right?

As for her ex. If she is a smart girl, which I'm sure she is, if her ex ever came and wanted her back she would tell him to choke on his own nut sack for hurting her in the first place. I think you should talk to her about your concerns and then work together to solve any problems. I good relationship requires communication and if your afraid to talk about your problems than more serious issues could come up. Don't worry dude I'm sure with love and patience everything will get better.

[beamer]

it's simple, you are to self conscious.

[anachronistic]

had this feeling with my last girlfriend. the thing was, i thought i was crazy! but she cheated behind my back so many times...