Should I stay or should I leave?

[Crissyhee]

I am currently dating this guy. We've known each other for 4 years now. We started dating last month. The problem started when he decided to put our relationship 'on hold' when we were dating in less than a month. It literally broke my heart. I didn't tell him whether I want to break up with him, but neither did I actually waited on him. During the period, I live my life like a normal single person.
Recently, he texts me like nothing happened. I didn't really feel the spark anymore after what he did. I wanted to break up with him, but he always complains about things that I feel bad if I dump him when he is still figuring out the mess in his life.
The reason I want to break up with him is because he complains too much. He over thinks about almost everything. When I tried to give him advice, he always end things with 'ok'. Then, he complains so much that I think like I'm the boyfriend instead of him. I feel like I am tougher than him in handling situations. Because of his complains and kill the conversation with 'ok', I don't get much chance to share my life story to him. Another reason is that I doubt his real intention in this relationship. He said he been liking me for years, but the way he interacts with me doesn't really shows that.
I don't know if he sucks at being a boyfriend, lack of social skills, or just a guy who's afraid to be lonely.
I've been debating myself whether to give this another chance, since we only dated each other in a short time. I want to talk about this, but I'm afraid that he'll over thinks again, and put this 'on hold' again or things like that. I want to keep trying, but I don't know if this is worth it.
I've been thinking that if he keeps running away from discussing this and look for a solution, I might have to break up with him. But I don't want him to take me as 'you gotta change yourself or I'll leave you' kind of person. I just want him to try harder because I couldn't feel his effort. How do I do that?

[Boisdevie]

If you're having these kind of problems after only a month of dating then it's clearly not going to work. So don't waste any more time. Dump the chump.

[smackie9]

This dude is a dud. You don't need to put up with his depressing personality. If this is how it is, and you already see issues, it's not going to get any better. He is douchey enough to manipulate you that you shouldn't breakup with him.....like really??I'm not sure why you have to ask a bunch of strangers on the net about this, unless you are really hard up to have a BF. It's a no brainer you should be going out with him....he is a pain in the ass. If it doesn't feel right, that means it's not. Breakup with him.

[Wakeup]

Why did you agree to advance your relationship from "just friends" to romantic partners if you knew him to be the way he is which is negative, sulky and non-confident in much of everything? Did you think he would suddenly be a happy camper with a good and healthy personality?

When you break up with him, which you should do... tell him outright its because he's negative and whiney and that you've known him long enough to know that he's not changing anytime soon.

Then don't continue to be his friend because you both need to go zero contact and forget one another so that he can hopefully learn something from what you told him and go on to meet someone to be with in a more positive manner then what being with you has enabled him to be. And.. so that you can find someone else to be with in a more happy and solid way then his emotional whining post.

Good luck. Don't stay in his life ... It will do neither of you any good.

[chinagirl]

Chronic complainers and whiney people are very toxic and should be avoided like a plaque. They suck the energy out of a person.

Why are you worried about dumping this guy? He seem to be a weakling and doesn't bring much in the relationship.