Avoiding conversation

[thatonegirl]

Okay guys, I really need you right now.

Last night I texted my man, who I've only been with for a little over a month, that I missed him. He said "I'm a missable guy I guess" Obviously not what I wanted to hear, so I said he made me sad cause he doesn't miss me. He said something like well, I think it should be obvious that I do. and that just because he doesn't say it doesn't mean its not there. So I called him, told him I wasn't mad at him and I didn't want to argue (we're both not into conflict) and all he said was he had to go back to sleep.

I feel like he doesn't care, even though he says he does, but I'm the kind of person that needs to HEAR it. Things like that aren't so obvious to me. Him and I are supposed to talk today, but I have a feeling he's just gonna avoid the conversation, again. So should I bring it up, or wait for him to say something?

[xxazurexx]

Unless you want to appear clingy and needy....traits men seem to detest, I wouldn't advise a talk that pressured him to be spilling his feelings about you. He has already told you that just because he doesn't say it, doesn't mean he isn't feeling it. So you best accept that and let it go.

It's only been just over a mere month - you must be feeling real insecure in regard to him. Any reason for this?

Perhaps he just is not a person who is verbal about his feelings and if you are and WANT TO HEAR IT.....then you'd be more suited to someone who is the same as you.

You can't force people and to be something, they are not.

And try forcing a man to talk against his will.....and see what happens.

[thatonegirl]

I'm not a mind reader though, I've learned throughout the years that you have to speak your mind for people to know what your thinking. HE'S even told me that, and now he expects me to read his mind?

and no, i'm not feeling insecure regarding him, no reason to.

and i'm not trying to force him to be something he's not, i would like him to tell me how he's feeling instead of making me guess, but in no way am I forcing change on him

[QueenofCorona]

Some people (like myself) are not as comfortable expressing certain feelings, especially so early in the game. He may be this way and thats ok. I promise you if you hump him and whine at him about this he'll feel you are insulting him and his personality and he'll resent you. Some people just take some extra time to let down their guard and express themselves, hopefully that is the case with him, if not then you might have to find a man who enjoys being gushy right off the bat. I would just give him some more time.

[thatonegirl]

With him, I feel like he's very closed off emotionally. He mentioned before we even started dating, that he was cheated on by his last girlfriend. I think that might have something to do with it, and I told him, I'm not her.
But last night, he said something about if you get him drunk, he'll tell me everything he's feeling. I just don't think thats fair to me.

[alovehangoverr]

Well, you definitely shouldn't have to get him drunk to spill his feelings.. so maybe a compromise is in order?

You agree be less reliant on hearing he misses you/etc.. and he agrees to be more verbal with his feelings.

But keep in mind that you've only been together for a month.. people take time to get comfortable, so maybe he's just not comfortable to be so open with you about his feelings at this point.

[thatonegirl]

I can understand that he might not be comfortable yet, I guess I'm just not used to it?
It's definitely time for a sit down though, because his longest relationship is not much longer then we've been together. (he's 26) and I can't wait for forever to have him open up to me.

[xxazurexx]

Hmm, he's not that big on 'long term' then.

Good luck and when you sit him down for your talk.

[thatonegirl]

his last, and first girlfriend I might ad, cheated on him and thats why he's only done the short term thing.

[IncognitoSir]

I think you're in for a turbulant time in this relationship. A lil over a month and you guys have to have a sit down about him not saying I miss you back. That would send up a red flag for me. Sounds like this guy may not be the one for you. No offense but that's a classic sign of "the needy girlfriend" and guys don't like the needy type.

[phys251]

It's only one month in. Not everyone is going to fall head over heels so soon.

Honestly, if you have "the talk" with him, there's a real chance he'll leave you.

[TheTooya]

If things are shaky for several days, it would probably be best to approach him. But one night? I would chalk it up to him just having stress, we all have off days.

[vashti]

You are pretty needy and demanding for a girl he's only been seeing a month, aren't you? Maybe you'd be better off dating a girl?

[inSearchOf]

Well, it depends on a couple things. How long had you not seen him when you texted him that you miss him? If you saw him earlier that day or you haven't been apart for a time that's unusually long, he may have felt you're too attached and you might have annoyed him. Don't let him get tired of you, give him the space he needs to come running back to you every time. Make sure you show him the same level of interest he shows you. DO NOT by any means badger him about this... If you do this correctly he will pay more attention to you and be more open.

[thatonegirl]

Well, it depends on a couple things. How long had you not seen him when you texted him that you miss him? If you saw him earlier that day or you haven't been apart for a time that's unusually long, he may have felt you're too attached and you might have annoyed him. Don't let him get tired of you, give him the space he needs to come running back to you every time. Make sure you show him the same level of interest he shows you. DO NOT by any means badger him about this... If you do this correctly he will pay more attention to you and be more open.

We havn't seen each other since the day after 4th of july due to the fact that we both have very busy lives.