Looks like I just ruined what could be a great friendship

[Anar]

Hi everyone. I am a 34 year old male. I came to Albania for work, some 3 months ago.

Albania has some great places for photography. About a week ago I asked a friend if he can find some girls to take pictures with. In the mountains and at the beach, etc. He did. At first, I wasn't thinking anything special would happen. I was only thinking about getting some good pictures.

Long story short, we hired a couple of professional photographers with flying drones and everything and the whole experience was just magical. It felt so real...

I realized that I liked the girl I was being photographed with. So I told her I liked her. i asked her if I can have her number. She said no but she gave me her fb and instagram and all that. I thought "Oh well".

I felt very jelous when my friend dropped me off at my house later that night and she jumped onto the front seat in the car.

I found out that she did give her number to my friend. But he was claiming that she only did it because she was looking for a job and he needed to hire someone for his bakery.

So, to be able to see her again, I actually had to hire her. Yes. I invented a job for her and I contacted her on fb to say that I had a job for her. I am paying her 3 times as much as she would get in that bakery. I don't know if that makes me a sick person or not, but it is what it is. What she does for work has no real value for me but she thinks it is real. She also knows that I am personally interested in her. But she told me we can only be friends.

I met her the other day. I told her I like her. She appeared to smile quite often and all that. She said we need to take it slowly. And all that type of things. I paid her the first month's salary in full in cash. She had brought her 2 sisters along. Not sure why. The sisters stayed briefly and left soon. We stayed at the restaurant for about an hour and then I said I want to buy you a dress. She said it is not necessary. I said I insist. She agreed. We checked the shops in the neighborhood but did not find a proper place. Took a short walk with her in the city center before she left.

I think I have pushed her too hard today. Because I asked her out and she said she didn't have time and all that. That she cannot leave her house every day. Or that, she can only meet me occasionally and in the same remote location as where we met the first time to discuss "work". I wanted to meet up at the bakery of my friend. She said "not there." And she could not tell me why. I was a bit frustrated and I said "Look, I am serious about you and I don't want any less than what I deserve." I allowed myself to say a few freaky things. I said, "if you come, you will know who I am, if you don't come, I will know who you are". She said I cannot work you anymore.

I said. OK. Forget the feelings. We can keep the work relationship only. She agreed. But she said she would not meet me any more. Or meet only when necessary.

I know I have ruined everything. I really like her and at the moment I feel extremely sad. Can anyone please point me in the right direction on what I should be doing, if anything?

Thank you.

[smackie09]

You didn't ruin your chances, because there wasn't any. Her answer was pretty clear when she didn't give you her number....that is a no I'm not interested. Her giving you her FB and Instagram was her letting you down easy in a nice way...kinda a consolation prize. A "thanks for asking, I'm flattered, but no". All the rest you did was you making a fool of yourself for being so desperate to get at her, and you simply creeped her out near the end. Don't do that again. You can't buy someones affections.

Next nice lady you meet, ask her out. If it is anything but a YES, it's a NO. And don't throw money at them, buying them gifts and crap....

[bunnyhabit]

she has shown you in so many ways she is not interested in you beyond an income source. there is no way for you to bed this girl other than money. the fact she jumped in front seat with guy she gave her number to should have clearly alert you of her non emotional availability to you ever. give up and move. easy to see why you have never had a girlfriend by your reactions to her.