problems with my girlfriends guy friend...

[Daemon09]

OK, so here's my situation.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3.5 years. We are very much in love and see a future with each other. Just as a side note, she is a senior in high school and i am a sophomore in college. We live about 2 hours apart now and see each other only about once every 4 to 6 weeks.

My problem is that there is a guy that used to be friends with both of us but he and i had a falling out. She has continued to be fiends with him which i had no, repeat now, problem with. They are now very good fiends. Until now, i had no problem with their friendship. Now though, he as expressed feelings for her on many occasions. I no longer talk to him and have expressed my dislike for him to my girlfriend multiple times. She continues to hang out with him from time to time. He is also in college and even makes trips back home just to see her. As i said i have told my girlfriend that i don't like him and that it makes me uncomfortable that she hangs out with him but i trust her completely and don't feel i have the right to ask her not to hang out with him. Lately its been getting worse, an example being when i called her she was with him coming back from a movie, she said she would call me back, they ended up going back to her house, with her family there, and hanging out there. i called her at 9 pm and at 1 i called her back and she had fallen asleep while they were hanging out and she couldn't talk because she was so tired now. this isn't a one time thing and i can't decide whether i should just suck it up or take action.

I just was wondering what advice people had about how i should handle this, whether i should just continue to deal with it or if i should ask her to stop hanging out with this guy. I love her with all that i am and trust whole heartedly but i really don't like them hanging out together but i don't want to be too controlling.

p.s.
sorry if that was a little long winded

[vashti]

It doesn't sound like she is as invested in this relationship as you are (honestly, because of your age, I think that is a good thing). Generally, a girl who is over the moon for a guy will avoid doing things that will make him uncomfortable.

You are in college now. You should have broken things off with this girl when you went away, for exactly this reason. One visit every 4-6 weeks is not usually sufficient to nurture a relationship with a high school kid, and you should be fully investing yourself in your college experience rather than diverting your attention to girl troubles back home.

Sorry, I doubt that was what you wanted to hear.

[Gigabitch]

+1. Listen to Vashti. Protect yourself.

[hi2u]

^^^ what world u guys from? im like totally different thatn u guys... if you guys love another then nothing bad should happen if you act like you care... you said u only go there about once a month if that...
2 hours away is nothing! go there every other weekend and spend time with her... if you love her you would..


just my opionon dont get mad

[Gigabitch]

Look, the thing is that they're growing apart. It's not so much about the other guy, it's just that these high school / college relationships are really hard and people get hurt quite often. I think this guy is going to get shredded.

[hi2u]

if shes a senior though she should be out of high school in about 1 month and they will have the summer together

but if shes thinking about leaving that city and going outa state or farther away i would quit...

i know one girl who goes to college half hour away and still lives at home every night.... you could go see her more

[misombra]

let her go.

[Daemon09]

new development, she has also decided to go to the same college as i go to next year... i really don't want a break up, and as far as i can tell she doesn't either i just dont know what to do about this guy... new thoughts?

[vashti]

Has she been accepted to your college?

[anachronistic]

tell her that her hanging out with that guy is really bothering you and you need her to stop talking to her in order to continue with a healthy relationship.

[Daemon09]

yes, shes accepted, and already has her housing contract signed and orientation date set

[clynn]

Does he also go to your college?

[Daemon09]

no, hes about an hour away from my college

[Gigabitch]

So they've got, what, six weeks more to hang around together and then she's all yours? If this relationship is important to you, I think you shouldn't make such an issue out of this.

This kind of crap is why these high school / college relationships don't work. Rise above your insecurities- you can't change what she does, only how you react to it.