Bonjourno all.
I'm going to be as thorough as I can to help get a response to these awkward feelings putting pressure on my relationship.
I'm 22 years old and my girlfriend is 23. We have been dating for 2 months and this is my first serious relationship. Although I would class myself as relatively good looking, I am VERY shy, and have a bit of a blushing problem so have been unable to meet/talk to girls up until recently.
My current girlfriend used to go out with my brother, until he was very horrible to her and dumped her for a girl 6 years his junior (he is 23). About 1 month after this happened I met this girl. We were quite slow in getting together due to the distance and the concern for my brothers feelings (this may be a factor in my thoughts but I'm not sure).
Things have been going great for 2 months. While we were dating I couldnt sleep with the excitement and neither could she. The first time she came up to stay (she lives about 80 miles away), we were both so saddened when it had to end and we had to both go back to work on Monday. It just felt 'right'.
About 3 weeks ago she went on holiday for a couple of weeks. It was probably during this second week that I began doubting, and it got worse into the third week, despite us maintaining quite a high level of contact (probly chatting 2 hours a day on average). I really felt this doubt being strong last friday when i went home to see her for her birthday. In all honesty, the message that was going through my head during the train journey back was 'do I really like this girl'.
I burst into tears while I was on my own just before we went out for her birthday. The frustration of this going round in my head all of sudden after being great together for two months became unbearable. I put on a brave face that evening and actually felt alright as my mind was taken off of it for a few hours. I then cried in front of her the morning after saying i was upset about being so shy (not the whole truth but a true point that may be adding to the emotional mix along with my brother). I then told her this morning I'm not sure how I feel about her and I need some time.
I'm about 13 hours in from telling her that and still none the wiser as to why im feeling this way. The hardest thing is knowing she is really upset because nothing I have done and she has done has prompted this. I have to give it a few more but I was due to see her again on thursday. I'm not sure If I'm going to be alright by then.
some points to note..
- I am most definately NOT looking at any other girl
- We have had quite a 'difficult' sex life so far, but she has been really understanding of it
- I don't want her to be upset.
- I don't want to loose her, but fear I am on the verge of doing so.