How should I approach this...?

[clever_name]

So here's the situation:

There are three birthday parties for 3 different friends on Saturday. All will be headed to the clubs/bars in the late evening(after 11pm). All 3 are girls. 2 of the girls are friends with my ex(we're both friends with them(one is her roommate), but we've known both the same amount of time, but obviously they are going to be closer being girls). Undoubtedly all the parties will probably converge when the clubbing/bar hopping starts and I really do not want to run into my ex(have been trying my best to maintain no contact with her and have been doing well, been maybe a little over a month) and I especially don't want to run into her if she is with her new bf, even though I know she's dating someone I don't really know how I'd react/feel seeing them together and stuff.

I'm thinking that there are two, maybe three, scenarios that I'd be comfortable in 1) if I know she's not going to be there 2) if she's there but not with her bf 3) if she and her bf are there but my roommates come with me. 2 and 3 are really both dependent on my roommates being there as I'd be able to leave the club/bar and not wander around that area by myself. Or should I just stay away from the situation entirely?

The 2 birthday girls I know pretty well(1 is my close friends gf) and other than a few other girls, most of the other people will either be acquaintances/strangers to both of us, or will be my friends.

[carl1222]

You are in a tough spot. Sure, seeing your ex with her new bf is going to cause some pain, but despite all your careful planning, it's likely to happen some day anyway. Then again, you should be able to conduct your life and enjoy your friends without planning your life to avoid her ... it takes away a big chunk of your freedom, and makes you dependent on the actions of your ex, so it's something you have to face.

So bring you wingmen as a security blanket, but if they are there together, try to avoid a hasty retreat. It's a party with a bunch of people, so you should be able to maintain "no contact" with your ex without heading for the exit. If she comes up to you, be civil but blow her off ... that's what your wingmen are for. Say 5 words max, then turn to your friends and engage in a conversation without her.

Carl.

[Mish]

Go and have a great time, who cares about the ex. If you're uncomfortable, just ignore her.

[clever_name]

You are right probably should just go and have a good time, not worry what she's doing, its more of just drunk people coming up and being like "why aren't you two together? blah blah blah" and I don't feel like dealing with that stupidity. As well as seeing her with her bf and some drunk person saying something real stupid to me.

Appreciate the advice.

[Gigabitch]

I must admit that if it were me, I'd stay home this weekend. I wouldn't want to come face-to-face with my ex until I was good and ready.

[clever_name]

Its more of a thing where I know its not gonna make me feel great, but the thing I'm more afraid of is after having a few drinks/shots running into them and calling her out on all the bs/lies she told me.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, ****. That's worse.

Could you get a hot date for Saturday?

[clever_name]

Eh, whatever, I'm gonna go have a good time with my friends, if they are their then I won't approach her/them and we will see what happens from there.