Boyfriends are always best friends?

[cmacattack1]

My last two girlfriends have both told me that I was their everything and best friend? Yet I don't see them that way, I see them as girlfriend and my friends as friends. Not to say that I don't have intimate moments with the girlfriends and tell them things that I don't tell my best friends. But there are things I feel more comfortable telling my best friends that I don't tell my girlfriends because I guess I just have a longer time to develop that trust. The girlfriends are always mad because they know I hold some things back and always say "I tell you everything!" But trust is not a transaction, just because you give it doesn't mean it should be returned immediately. Maybe I'm just weird.

The older one I dated on and off for four years throughout college, one that I didn't love and told I didn't love and yet we found some way back together for a cycle of break ups and ugliness. Finally she graduated and I dumped her for good and was still in school to have her out of sight and out of mind.

The newer one we only dated officially for 8 months, but hung out for about 10 total, and was definately a girl I felt more strongly about. I in fact am in love with her, but of course I didn't realize this until she was gone. However when the distance factor kicked in (I graduated and she was still in school) and I was backing away from the relationship and she became more desparate and clingy, it just made it worse. I didn't tell her how I felt and of course it ended with her dumping me and being angry (and being at school without me with lots of parties and guys). Unfortunately it takes losing something important to really give you clarity.

Just thought I would give the background of the two. I guess I digress. Am I weird for not feeling that about a girlfriend that I feel with for friends? Girlfriends that I knew for about a year compared to guys and girls I've known for years and years growing up?

[lahnnabell]

I agree that best friendship and girlfriendship do not have to go hand in hand. For girls, it tends to be the same because I know many that enjoy having that one place to look to for support. Kinda like that awesome store you can do your one-stop shopping at. Why would I go elsewhere when I have you my awesome, loving boyfriend man? For men it's different, and it irritates me when women can't fathom that our two sexes operate differently.

I view my boyfriend as more of my partner-in-crime. We are equals and we support one another. It is not my job to nag him, or berate him for his decisions, but I do like to play the voice of reason once in a while. But I will always back him up. Kinda like the way cop partners back one another up. Does this mean I have stuff that I don't always share with him? Of course! And if there's stuff he doesn't want to share with me, then so be it. However, I prefer that he does not advertise this fact to me. He can simply keep what he wants to himself, unless I find that it is something that affects us as a couple.

My best friends are the ones who help me combat my more irrational side. If I'm feeling angsty about boyfriend related issues and I need to vent about something before bringing it to my boyfriend's attention, I go to my friends. They are always down to help me sort my head and find a game plan before I get all crazy. My boyfriend can do this as well, but I find that I go to him more for emotional comforting and support.

They two overlap at times of course. Depends on the issue, on the day, on me... Hehe. Yeah.