Shock to ex may be good for the soul....

[Kaius]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We have had a few rough patches, but overall we are really happy the way things are going. We both exited from our respective 12+ years marriage recently, and we both have 2 young children around the same age. At this point we are very serious, and we are talking about marriage regularly.

Her interaction with her ex-husband is friendly. They get along as friends, but couldn't get along as a couple. She constantly teases him about how much nicer, smarter, and sexier I am than he is. He gets kinda pissed sometimes. He, being a white redneck racist that he is, can't believe his gorgeous ex-wife is in love with an Asian dude. This is shocking to him, and he expresses discontent via making fun of my Asian-ness (i.e. "Does he speak English?" or "Is he shorter than you?").

My interaction with my ex-wife is hostile. We never speak, unless it's about the children. When she found out that her ex-husband (me), whom she considered undesirable, is now involved with a beautiful white woman who loves everything about me, it is shocking to her. So shocking that she turned even nastier and meaner, and threatened to take my kids away from me. We are due in court in August.

My GF and I laugh about how we shocked our respective ex's. It's almost fun knowing how they hurt us for so many years, and now our happiness is such sweet revenge on them.

Has anyone ever wanted to seek revenge on an ex? If so, how did you approach it?

[xxazurexx]

I'm wondering why your gf would want to rub information in regard to you, in her exes face?

Is she still pissed off that he left her or something? Because that is the way it comes across to me.

My ex hubby was shocked when he learned from my daughter that I was involved with a mid east guy. Even though I'm friends with my ex hubby, I don't feel a need to tell him about who I may be seeing, nor do I mention other guys to him....it's feck all to do with him and mentioning things to provoke a reaction from him, is something I gave up doing a long time ago.

[Charisma]

my last ex dumped me (he was in a complicated situation anyways. He was older, had a 5 year old son to his ex. Lived in his sister's house. Quit his job to spend all day smoking weed.). He later got a job and decided to tell me again how he liked me and oh now he has a job that he can take me out places and would like to see me again. Well, he was texting on his sister's mobile, so when I replied no thanks or something like that, she replied some nasty stuff. Stuff he must have mentioned about me, because she never met me. I tried to text back in a civil manner to this mad cow, but she must have been hell bent on upsetting me.

Apparently the ex was furious at his sister for what she texted. I didn't care. I still wasn't going to get back with him, it only made me have pity that his life is so messed up, and that 2(well 3 if you count his ex) are still so immature while being parents to kids.

It would have been nice to tell him where to go, or get a one-up on them all, but instead I thought of it all as a blessing that I was out of *their* lives.

[Gigabitch]

I have absolutely no interest in poking at my ex. I quite literally do not care what he thinks. It annoys me that he is apparently hung up on the fact that I am now happily married and having a baby with my new husband. I wish he would just get over it and move on, already.

I hope your girlfriend gets to this point, Kaius. She's too invested in the emotional state of her ex for my liking.

[qwertz]

My ex tried for a while to rub it in my face that he is engaged to someone else, I was quite bothered at first, but i think that was mainly due to the nature of our breakup and how remorseful he was about things that i didnt think he would move on so quickly. Well i guess life goes on, for some.

[cmacattack1]

You guys are adults and shouldn't resort to these kind of teasing games. Maybe you want to get back at your ex wife and your girlfriend wants to get back at her ex husband a bit due to all the resentment you both have harbored from your marriages, but if you are both happy with each other, it's something you should share together. My ex tried to rub it in my face how awesome her new boyfriend is and everything and how she was soooo over me, when her very actions proved otherwise. And she's 22 years old.

Don't look stupid and childish and spiteful. Share what you have with each other and make the bare minimum you have to do with your exes for the sake of your kids. Maybe making small talk kills the awkwardness a bit, but your ex wives and ex husbands aren't your best friends you go gushing too after you had a great date. You know better, don't play these games.