Determined to recover, need your valuable advice

[simple guy]

I am new to this forum & really feel quite relaxed to go through some value able threads with having such like minded people out there.
So looking for a value-able support from all of you.

My problem is that approx 6 years back, I came in contact with a metro-city gal.And that was the first time that I have made a 1st hand-shake of my life. I mean to say being such a shy person that I have never-ever talked/faced any girl before that.
Although she has told me that she has a lover ( Her child-hood friend ) and we can never be more than friends. I have got impressed so much by her attitude/sincerity, her bubbly nature, always smiling face, her baby looks ( Baby-Doll ) that slowly & slowly I felt myself emotionally attached to the deepest in my heart. i.e : I was in love with her deep from my Heart.
We have enjoyed a great time being togeather for movies , resturants , parks and even Religious Temples.
I dont know when and how I got so much induldged that I want to make a marriage purposal to her.
And the situation favours me as her childhood lover got involved/attracted to some one else and they got married.Here by some means I purposed her and to my surprise/disbelief it have got accepted.
Its 15 months pass since we met and Upto that situation, my feelings/sentiments for her got so strong that I dont even thought of loosing her at any moment.
although she has got an emotional edge over me, by being less expressive/caring.
But definately she was a very lively/dedicated girl when relationships are concerned. I can only say she was the girl who let me know " How to live happily and to the most of life "
Every thing was going on quite well,that one day while during phone talk she told me that even after so many trials she was not able to forgot her Ex-lover & marrying me under such circumstances was just a cheating ( On her part ).
I have got really shocked & not even got the words to speak. As we have talked for more than 2 to 3 hours daily having lots of emotional , family & love talks. I have thought " How could she do like that "
So I have got involved in Some pain killers/medical drugs just to improve my concerntation but to no avail.

After that I have got depressed to such a level that recovery seems like impossible to me.Now, I have got married having very good wife ( Well educated & a beautiful matured family girl ) & a son { just a darling to every-one around ). I mean a well stable happy family.

My major problem is that the past-life incident would effect me to such an extent that I am feeling feared of feelings. I have no emotional attachment with my wife or even with my sweet son. I just hate emotions.

Plz suggestion what I should have to do and how to follow up my pending/current dreams and make them true.

[Gigabitch]

I say seek professional help. If you weren't already married, I'd just tell you to lay off the medication and let yourself heal, but it sounds like you're affecting others. I think you need a bit of emotive therapy.

[simple guy]

Thanks for your reply
Ok something about professional help, I have gone to the psychologist but does not found the remedy as helpful as he just tries to elaborate the case, with some anti-depressants medicines.
He has not even opted to listen the actual/basic problem, deep routed inside my heart. Just few short sessions with a good consultant fee, nothing helpful.

One more thing I want to add is “I am not at all hurting any one right now as I have never let anyone know about my deep routed disturbance level.
Just going up with the flow, always try to give the very best to my wife as well as to my son.
But my major guilt is that even after having such a beautiful wife, a God gifted ( Very Sweet baby ) son I am not able to love them to such an extreme level ( intense emotions deep into my heart ) that at once, I feel for her in my past life.
I want to feel the same for my family.
But don’t know what to do.
In general my relationship with my wife is very good with having lot of sincerity, faith responsibility as well as Sex.
Except the guilt that I feel in my self for not been able to deliver the same emotions to my wife as she have for me.
“She loves my with the same intensity as I loved my past girl friend"
But as we can say emotions are always naturally developed and get depleted, I will hope to get the recovery at the earliest.
Once again thanks for your helpful advice, it really feel fine to have some once advice.

[Gigabitch]

... I have gone to the psychologist but does not found the remedy as helpful as he just tries to elaborate the case, with some anti-depressants medicines.
He has not even opted to listen the actual/basic problem, deep routed inside my heart. Just few short sessions with a good consultant fee, nothing helpful.

Fire him. He sucks.

Anyway, many people got married first and fell in love later. I'm glad you're not giving up on this, and that you know your wife deserves your whole heart and you're trying to deliver.

You CAN get over this past experience. Be patient with yourself. You're going in the right direction, right? Just keep trying.