Where Do I Stand?

[bear314]

Please help me out ladies. I'm an 18 year old male at a military college with the world at his feet but would give up it all for this one girl. I have never been unfaithful in the least and am generally a good guy. I'll try my best to make this short.

Met two years ago in summer school in NY. Moved to FL and met a year later again on Facebook. She gave me her number and started to talk a lot. Planned months ahead from Oct to see each other in Dec. We were not official but closer than I had ever been with any other girl (technically she was my first love). Met up for a measly 6 hrs cause I spent most of it with my family. Asked her to be my girl and dated for a month until she broke up with me (apparently mutual) on Super Bowl Sunday.

The summer we had met over Facebook she met another guy in PA. However she had decided on me over him because he muffed up somehow I cannot remember. They made up and talked as friends which I said was ok since I did not want to be overbearing or controlling. Over the months he had gotten too comfortable with what he said and started crossing boarders he shouldn't have. He asked her to his prom and being the nice yet stupid ass I was I allowed it, ONLY because a close friend of mine asked me to her prom that goes to the same school as my ex did.

She breaks up with me saying it is because of the distance and that we will get back together over the summer. We continue to talk but without the intimacy and I Love U's. I find out one weekend that when she left for PA that she met up with him and are going steady. The initial few weeks were extremely difficult to get through and was probably the worst experience of my life. Weeks turn into months and I manage to go to my prom and have a great time.

From my graduation and into the summer we talk every now and then. Once before my sister's grad. for closure and again a few weeks later. She asks if we can keep in touch and I tell her I cannot do friends with her and that I and past but have not forgiven her betrayal. We tried to say goodbye so many times and eventually cut it off when she sms ed b/c she was having a bad day and knew I could make her feel better.

Before the summer ended I felt like I had to do something, anything, just to reach out. So I drew her a picture of a broken heart surrounded by inside jokes and next to it a needle and with the words "time and space" on them. I wrapped the picture in a army green shirt with a picture of a bear, hence my name, with some insanely great smelling cologne sprayed on.

Through sms she told me:
- how she almost wishes I didn't do that
- she cannot stop thinking about me, and last Dec

She sent me an email reading:

"i dont know when you'll read this or if it'll be relevant when you do read it but i need you to hear me out.

i got a call from my mom saying there was a package with my name on it. and i knew it was from you. i was away but for that entire week i knew it was from you and i couldnt wait to open it.

the drawing and shirt at first was sweet, very sweet. made me smile, reminded me of a lot of things i chose to forget. and the shirt was sweet. smelled like you. and then BAM. this is what my brain was like.. do i keep this? where the hell do i put this? do i call? do i text? no voicemail will be ok. i think atleast. do i not do anything? do i accept this? what the hell did i have for breakfast? who am i?

that leads to.. wow he smells great. i miss that. god how i miss that. let me cut off my oxygen supply so i can smell this shirt for the rest of my life. oh wait even better lets wear it. yeah lets put it on and smell it throughout the day. awesome idea Her Name you are brilliant. seriously. see fits perfectly. boobs are cute this is great. this wont backfire at all and i wont

later that night.. i miss him.

i dont know if you know this but missing you is no good. its like the package was like "hey do you miss brian? oh you do do you? HERE YOU GO. GO CRAZY. think about the good ol days. remember noice. yeah think about that. hes dating someone and so are you but forget that think about him"

i spoke to alexa about it and i found myself trying to ask about you. found myself getting jealous when she said something about you getting with another girl. i dont need that i dont want that. im happy with jeremy. and you just sneak into my life again. i cant keep doing this. we're out of eachothers life. every couple of months we cant just make up an excuse to talk to each other and reflect on the old times and surface the feelings we had.. or have. its not healthy for me. and for you. you moved on so have i. you're always going to keep a place in my heart, always always. and even in 50 years i'll remember you with a smile. but for now we need to stop."

I told her that I can't say I didn't see this coming and that I hope she does well in school and goodbye.

After that she sent me a couple days later this email, to which I have not responded and is the last of any contact either of us have had with each other:

dinner? four years from today. 8:00. you pick the place.

k

[Gigabitch]

Well, there's no hurry. Four years is plenty of time to pick a place.

She's right, you know. LDRs are horrible, and for people as young as you are, they're torture.

[lilac]

Say Yes!! It's 4 years from now, if you have someone then, you could always back out or go as a friends. If neither of you have anyone then, may be something good came out of this.....You have 4 years to pick a spot or think about this...