I will be single forever :(

[LailaK]

I'm so frustrated. I went on a "date" with the Italian last night. Though I'm attracted to him physically I realized during that date that I find him incredibly boring, he finds my humor weird and we aren't a great fit.

This is the 16th guy in the last 6 months that I've gone on 1-3 dates with before deciding "He's not it."

I know what I want out of a relationship and that's a double edged sword because if the guy is not it, he's not it. I'd rather tell him that the moment I know and be friends (or not) rather than string him on romantically. I wish I could casually date but I don't think I can, I want to be in love.

Such a pain in the a**.

[Doc Durian]

Go into each new situation without rigid expectations.

There's a man somewhere in this world with your exact same thought processes, wants, and stipulations. You'd both probably find one another to be incompatible if you met.

Love, like shit... just happens.

[LailaK]

That's the thing. I'm not dating with a list! I don't have a check list of qualities he has to have.

I want to be with someone I like, who likes me. We have fun and the spark is there.

That's it. That's all I want. It seems something even that simple is impossible to find.

[Asip4u]

Same thing has happened to me for the past year or so. As Doc mentioned, i go in now without expecting much so it does help quite a bit. It will happen for you Laila, don't worry too much.

[Doc Durian]

Then you're not looking in the right places. You won't find fellows who like similar music if you're looking at the library or find guys who enjoy similar books at a car boot sale. Well, not likely. There is always a chance, though slim.

Make yourself whole by doing what you enjoy. You'll find like minded sorts in the process.

[LailaK]

All I do is invest in my hobbies. I will continue to do so I'm just tired of being single and ranting a bit.

[Asip4u]

All I do is invest in my hobbies. I will continue to do so I'm just tired of being single and ranting a bit.

Maybe you're just really picky. I know i am. hehe

[lastwish]

I find that having common interests is not the most important thing. What is important is that people are open to new experiences and people. Find a guy who has an open heart AND an open mind.

[LailaK]

I am extremely picky. If that spark isn't there then I won't pursue a relationship. It's not so much about common interests as it is about matching personalities. I like to laugh and if a guy is a boring downer I'm going to get bored really quick.

I'm fine with the fact that I'm picky, I just wish there were more guys out there that I liked.

[Asip4u]

I am extremely picky. If that spark isn't there then I won't pursue a relationship. It's not so much about common interests as it is about matching personalities. I like to laugh and if a guy is a boring downer I'm going to get bored really quick.

I'm fine with the fact that I'm picky, I just wish there were more guys out there that I liked.

Exactly! I find it weird when people say "well she's really nice why won't you give her a shot?"..hehe..It's not just about being nice. There's many nice people out there, it doesn't mean the chemistry is there.

[lastwish]

I am extremely picky. If that spark isn't there then I won't pursue a relationship. It's not so much about common interests as it is about matching personalities. I like to laugh and if a guy is a boring downer I'm going to get bored really quick.

I'm fine with the fact that I'm picky, I just wish there were more guys out there that I liked.

I know what you mean. But I don't think chemisty is as obscure as you think. I have noticed that people who are more open-minded and sociable are usually also the ones who are compatible with lots of people.

[Mish]

I'm so frustrated. I went on a "date" with the Italian last night. Though I'm attracted to him physically I realized during that date that I find him incredibly boring, he finds my humor weird and we aren't a great fit.

This is the 16th guy in the last 6 months that I've gone on 1-3 dates with before deciding "He's not it."

Where did you find these 16 guys? If they are all from the same place, the problem may be with the place where you are finding them.

Don't forget that finding the right person is a long, labourious and painful process, apart from what you might have seen in the movies it's mostly a long road for everyone. Don't expect to find someone quickly. Take it as a learning experience of you finding out more about yourself and the world around you. When the time, circumstances and the person are right will happen. Just be patient.

[Asip4u]

I know what you mean. But I don't think chemisty is as obscure as you think. I have noticed that people who are more open-minded and sociable are usually also the ones who are compatible with lots of people.

People who are so open-minded also make more mistakes. I find one of the reasons for so many divorces in North America is because too many people are exactly like that. You either know what you want or you don't.

[uri]

What's so disasterous about staying single forever? It's not like it's the end of the world or anything as long as you're healthy, live comfortably and is happy.

Wanting to stay single forever is far from being a crime. Stalking is a crime but wanting to stay single without the restraints of relationship is not. And the people who make it look like it's some sort of crime are the ones who have some issues in my opinion.

Besides being single makes more time to focus on and improving yourself.

[ChristianonLI]

You're worried about being single forever? Try being me. Try having been so lonely and miserable for your entire life, facing nothing but rejection around every turn, and then finally finding someone who truly appeared to be "the one" for you, then have them vanish overnight never to want to be with you again over trivial and ridiculous reasons. Then imagine that person spending months refusing your attempts at reconciliation, spitting every possible type of venom to push you away. Now after all that, imagine knowing you're never going to find someone else the rest of your life. That you're going to die lonely and miserable just as when you started, that the one single person God made for you is gone and is never coming back. Walk five feet in my shoes and let me know if you don't kill yourself immediately. Because every day I feel a little bit more like that is the only acceptable resolution.

There's no point in living without the one you love. The woman I love is GONE. FOREVER. There will not be another. Why do I bother going on?