girlfriend thinks i like another girl

[clintbow]

a co-worker who use to like me before i met my current girlfriend. i have told my girlfriend i have zero interest in my co-worker and she doesn't need to worry because i would be stupid to leave or cheat on her

she still acts weirded out though. what can i do to get her to realize she doesn't have to worry

[searock]

First of all: are you 100% certain that you are not interested in your co-worker? What if you weren't taken, would you be interested then?

Has your girlfriend seen you and your co-worker together (in regular scenarios, I don't mean "has she caught you in the act")?

[Red Apollo]

Sounds like she is insecure. So probably nothing. All you can do is tell her she has nothing to worry about. If she doesn't believe you there isn't much you can do.

[michelle23]

Were you interested in her before? Would you be interested if you were single? Do you spend time with this Co worker during, lunch? Or outside of work hours? Do,you text her or email her etc? Your girl,must have a reason for being worried unless she is just really insecure. What can you do through actions to,prove that she comes first? The best,thing,to,do,is to create as much distance as possible from her a d if she is flirty with you, it's up,to,you,to,spell,it out to,her that your not interested and tell her to BA,I off

[ignmmulia]

You need to give her an advice and real information so that she trusts you. But if not, then you should leave her.

[stev123]

tell her to pipe down and stop being insecure

[basilandthyme]

What type of friendship do you have with your co-worker? Do you ever hang out alone? Texting? FB chat?

[Am I crazy?]

WTF? why are so many people grilling this dude as if he is or has done something wrong? If this guy had an interest in his co worker when he was single chances are he would not be posting here today because he would be in a relationship with her. This stuff happens every day just about everywhere. You cant stop people from liking you. I suggest that this guy does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING as he is doing nothing wrong. If he really feels the need to react to the situation the appropriate response would be to explain to he GF that there is nothing to worry about and then kill the subject. If the GF decides that she cant be with a man that has a girl that he is not interested liking him then it really is only her problem.

It really is disturbing how little faith and trust in men some of the people who comment here have. Seriously ladies, not all men are pigs and the majority of us are not walking around with our "manhood" making our decisions.

BTW, even if this dude does have a friendship with this woman that still does not mean he needs to end it because his current GF has a problem with it.

[michelle23]

we only asked him a few simple questions. how is that "grilling him"? and we didn't call him a pig or say he thinks with his manhood.

I wonder which woman broke you dude. You think every woman on the planet is "insecure" apart from your wife.

And if this friendship is affecting his relationship with his significant other-then he does need to choose between them. Friend or lover as this problem wont go away on its own.

[Am I crazy?]

Look Michelle, the bottom line is we don't agree and talking to you is just as effective as beating my head against the wall. But, I will respond again because I must be stupid. The whole idea that anybody is even questioning this guy when he has already stated that nothing is going on is what I am talking about and this is a theme seen throughout most of this web site. If there is a problem it must be the mans fault and he should change his life to accommodate his GF. That's total BS!

Nobody ever broke me and the reality is there are a lot of insecure women in the world, and quite frankly many of them pass their time on sites like this because they find that it makes them feel more in control of their own relationships and insecurities when they can hang out with others just like themselves.

Sorry, but for this guy to do anything about this other than reaffirm to his GF that he has no interest in the other woman is just plain crazy.

[michelle23]

FYI there are lots of insecure men in this world too and many men (insecure or otherwise) spend time on these forums too. The reason I joined this forum is because I have been told all my life that I give good advice, I wanted to be a counselor and I enjoy helping other people plus it passes time in my very boring job so put that in your pipe.

The OP came here for a solution to his problem. I thought more info was necessary in order to help him. I did not accuse him of anything and I don't believe it is "always the mans fault" I don't know where you are getting that from.

I think you are defensive and you read too much into simple open questions. He wants to know if there is anything else he can do besides just telling her there is nothing to worry about. He has already done that and it hasn't resolved his situation.

Why dont you stop wasting time arguing with strangers and just answer the OPs question without throwing all your digs around at the women on here. We are trying to help

[Am I crazy?]

Blah, blah, blah, I think I will go beat my head against the wall now. The best help you can give this guy is no help at all. If the dude follows your cookie cutter advice he might as well just cut off his balls and pit them in his womans purse right now for her to allow him to be a man only when she wants him to be.

[michelle23]

oh shut up. go and get some therapy for your woman hating issues. If your not gonna give the OP advice-then why bother being here at all? All you have done is told him to do what he has obviously already done and it didn't work which is why he is here.

Creating distance from this colleague who he is not interested in is not cutting his balls off-its proving to his gf through actions that she IS more important.

I don't know what kinda marriage you have but I wouldn't be surprised if your wife is having an affair with that hot colleague when she goes away on trips alone with him and stays in a hotel. You seem to think that blind trust is the only answer. Real life doesn't work that way my friend and your the only one on here who looks crazy. I hope shes not for your sake but you have too much trust and NO boundaries. Most marriages would not survive that way

Most people do have relationship boundaries, lines that cannot be crossed and rules when it comes to opposite sex friends or work colleagues. Most experts will tell you that it is necessary if you want a lasting marriage.

[Am I crazy?]

Michelle, you are losing your mind more every day. You have no clue what you are talking about. have you not figured out that sometimes people do the right thing the first time, as the OP did and just letting things play out is the right thing to do? You have an absurd sense of what a relationship is all about. So, this guy, in your insecure mind, after telling his woman there is zero interest in this other woman now should stay clear of the other woman just to prove his loyalty? hahah, that's BS. How about his woman changes her behavior and gives the guy the trust that he deserves? Yeah, I Know, crazy shit, eh?

As far as my wife goes? even funnier. So now my wife is not worthy of my trust and unable to resist advances (if there are any) from male co-workers when traveling? Ohm my gawd, maybe I should demand that she quit her job or tell her boss that she is no longer allowed to travel unless the company providers her a chastity belt. There are no reasons to suspect my wife is having an affair. I do not expect her to lock herself in her room or wear a burka just because I am not around. The problem with you and many of the other commenters here is that you do not understand the difference between "blind" trust and "complete" trust. I have complete trust in my wife because I know the type of person she is and her moral values. Blind trust is when you think you can trust somebody without knowing enough about them to know if they are trustworthy. Then.... there is the "conditional" trust that you and most of those here afford their partners. Conditional trust says I will trust you as long as I can keep my thumb on you and you follow my rules and eliminate anybody from your life that "I" perceive as a potential threat. Newsflash, if you have to make conditions or ask your partner to limit contact with others then your relationship is lacking in any meaningful trust and is a complete sham.

Could my wife end up screwing around with a co-worker? From what I know about her I would have to say no. However, anything can happen but sitting around worrying about stuff that may never happen is plain stupid.

The bottom line is simple. You give advice based upon your own view of how relationships should be. The problem is you have a great deal to learn and your inexperience screams loud and clear. If everybody followed your advice we would all either be single or in counseling, or both.

Tell me Michelle, How does the real life work? I would love to hear your answer because it seems your "real life" experience is based upon a 5 year relationship based upon conditional trust and an amateur advice web site.

[Valixy]

clintbow, is this the same girl that texted to her ex that he should get back to her when she's single?