How to get over a guy from another country..??

[mcb]

Sorrrrrrry for this essay -
I don’t really know where to start. I really like a guy in another country and just don’t know how to get over him.
So I go to France once or twice a year to ski for 3 weeks at a time. I first went in 2007 with my family and 2 friends my family decided they wanted lessons with a ski instructor so my 2 friends and I skied alone. My family had him everyday for lessons and grew very fond of him and they got his email etc. I would talk to him and thought he was a really nice person but no big deal.

We went back a second year and this time my friends and I decided to join the ski group with my family and ski instructor. We had him all day everyday so eventually I also grew very fond of him like my family. He would tell me about his life and I’d do the same and he became close to me also. It was weird that it felt like we’d known eachother for years when infact it wasn’t long at all. He was playfully flirty, stealing my skis, pushed me in the snow, we’d hug when we walked together and he’d hug me when I skied (somehow!?). Instead of sitting with his friends at dinner he’d come sit with me. After ski sessions I’d go to the bar with him and he would introduce me to his friends and sometimes my family would come. He told my mother how fond he was of me but I didn’t really know which way he meant it. We’d go up to the mountain with a group of friends and him and I would just sit together. On the last day he would not let me go! lol… we exchanged emails and FB accounts and said he couldn’t go a year without talking to me. I was desperately sad to leave, but good things never last I suppose! I would see in his status he would write ‘she’s so far away, I wish things were simpler’ and ‘Waiting, waiting..Miss her so much’. It was strange when we talked because talking online was so different to real life – no where near as good obviously. He’d tell me he loved his life but was very lonely without the one and wished I was there. I don’t think he meant me but it was nice to imagine it could be!

I went back to college and started to learn French because not only did I love the country, it would benefit all the friends I had over there! As we were both so busy we started to talk less and less and when we did talk it wasn’t the same, he’d ask me about work and if I was with any guys and stuff but that was about it. However, I still felt as much for him as I had the day I left France. Nothing seemed to fizzle out for me..

I suppose it was inevitable that he would get a girlfriend that lived closer, but when I found out it broke my heart. I was so so upset and felt sick to my stomach. Time definitely is a healer so I did start to feel ok about it but I swear if I thought I had a chance I’d be in there like a shot!

My family booked to go to France again after not having been in two years. He wasn’t supposed to be working that week but worked anyway because he knew we were coming. He saw my family first and told them he was very fed up at the minute but very happy to see us. One day I heard him shout me he was rushing off to work so it was a bit rushed (and kinda awkward) so he says he will see me in the week. We never did see eachother and it actually made the whole trip a disappointment as I was constantly hoping to bump into him. He saw my mother and told her to tell me he would keep in contact with me when I got home. Anyway, we’ve just not. One day I spoke to him and he ignored me (could have been busy, but I don’t know) and so now I think it’s time to stop being stupid and get over it and just stop speaking to him.

Anyway, after that rant I just don’t know where to start…Why do I even like him? Is it some sort of MEGA crush!? I think because I like him I’ve interpreted it very wrong by thinking he might like me when he probably didn’t. Possibly because I haven’t met a guy I get on with so well like that but I hope that eventually I will. How do I get him out of my thoughts all the time? I don’t want to delete him as a friend because maybe one say when it’s easier for me we can be friends. I know I was kidding myself because he lives in a different country and is very busy so it would never have happened but that still doesn’t get him out of my thoughts. I’m 18 and he’s 23 so he has a lot more on than me. With being so young that is probably why I sound so pathetic butttt I just didn’t know where else to get this out! Thanks for reading if you managed to get through the rant and any help would be much appreciated!! I think because he lives in another country it makes it harder to get over him because I don't know of anything annoying about him!!

[ABCDE12345]

I read this and I couldn't help but reply. I was recently in a similar situation and when I read your situation I was shocked at how similar things were and how similar I felt. I actually created an account here just to reply (haha)

Anyway....I have been working at this place for a while and each year a few people from foreign countries come here and work for a few months and then leave. Well this year there was this one guy that I met and we sort of had a thing but unfortunately it wasn't until about a week before he left. When we first met it was just through my helping him train for the job and he didn't know english very well so I didn't think anything particular about him. I went to a going away party for two of the workers before they left and we talked a few times and i started to develop a small crush on him. I'm only 18 and he's in his 20's so I just thought that it was me being a teenager seeing a cute guy that's a sweetheart and having a small crush that would go away and I would forget all about it. But one day I gave him a ride to his hotel from work and he asked me to go inside. I did but felt a little strange because it was just us, i had a boyfriend at the time, and i didnt know him very well. I told him that I was going to leave because i had to go see my sister. He seemed a little disappointed but said he hoped to see me again. When i left i went home and got an email from him saying that he was already thinking about me and seeing me again but he didn't think i was too sure about wanting to see him again. I was so confused with myself because i'vehad a boyfriend for 2 years ( the only boyfriend ive ever had) and i was developing a crush on this guy that i barely knew. One day before work, he instant messaged me and told me that we should meet up. i agreed and said it would be nice to hangout before he left. He confessed to me that he has wanted to take me out for a date before he left for a while but didnt know how i felt about him.i was so shocked.guys never like me more than just friend and he was a lot older, more mature, and extremely attractive (haha). I told him that i had a small crush on him but that i felt so guilty becuase i had a boyfriend. we arranged to meet up and hangout. when we did he told me that he wanted to kiss me badly but wasnt sure if he should or not. i told him that i felt the same way but i had a boyfriend and it wouldnt be right. I asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said that he was dating a girl for a year and 8 months but they broke up becuase she was jealous about him with girls while he was away from home. we continued to hangout and talk. we had the most amazing conversations and i told him that i felt like i had known him for all of my life.he told me that he couldnt stop smiling, he was so nervous and that he was never like that around anyone. i had never had such meaningful conversations with anyone before. he left that night. i ended up breaking up with my boyfriend that night because of a ton of different things. I met up with this guy the next day, he kissed me first, we kissed a few times for that night. the next morning i met him at the train, he kissed me goodbye, told me he hoped to see me again someday and left. ever since he left i have been getting more and more depressed as each day goes by. he doens't talk to me anymore. i have reasons to believe that he was with a few girls during his two months here and that he has a girlfriend in his county that he had while he was with me. i am so confused and hurt and i don't know what to do. Maybe it's normal in their country to act this way with women? But I don't feel lilke he was using me becuase he was so incredibly sweet and we really did not kiss that much. (sorry this was so long!)

[sAsAk1]

OMG ok another story that sounds almost exactly like mine...
I have a group of friends in a different country as well. They don't really speak English and my knowledge of their language is limited (I can make myself understood though).
So there was this guy who was just my friend and I thought he was kinda cute but he had a girlfriend so I didn't think much of it.
Then the third time I went there he told me he liked me too much. He was still together with his girlfriend but I could feel my feelings growing for him.
Then I told him I really liked him too. The day after that happened he went "on a break" with his girlfriend. Not an official break-up but a break.
Although he said they wouldn't get back together (she was actually the one to break up with him). Then that night something happened we kissed and had sex.
we were pretty close after that, laughed had fun (even with the bad communication). And then I went back to my own country. (We kept in touch trough skype and fb ans stuff)
I went back there again after one and a half month but it was not the same again and even though I told him I still liked him. He told me he had a wall around him
and he didn't want a girlfriend right now. I'm still not completely over him. The problem is that he's still nice to me when I'm down he's like a true caring friend and it hurts.
But lately we haven't been in contact that much so it's easier for me to move on.

So what I'm trying to say is that, the less you talk to him the easier it makes things. Oh and thinking about other guys and looking around a lot helps too
I feel a lot better now. He's not all I think about every day anymore ^^

[DulceReina]

Awww, it will be ok. I know it hurts for some time but with time you will heal.

Been there done, done that. Though mine was more mutual, it's super hard to date someone in another country. He came back begging, I just couldn't deal with him