inexperienced...opinions,advice,anything please!

[lily325]

hello, so...I'm new here...I was looking around for a forum like this...I really could use some advice and other points of view...I'll try to make it as brief as possible...

I'm 27 years old, I have never had a boyfriend, don't ask me why because I don't know...I have a lot of friends, I go out often...it just has never happened...I recently moved to work at another city where I don't know a lot of people...one night I was bored at home and I thought I should try a chat room to meet people from this city...I found this guy...he said he didnt live here, but visited often...we started talking and it was really good...from that day we kept in touch everyday, all day, he would call me, we would send sms and he would call when he got out of work to ask when I would get home and be online...we sent pictures, we talked just as friends until one night...we started talking about relationships...talking about what we liked in men/women...he then said he liked my lips and that I was pretty....another day we talked about meeting in person...he said when he saw me he would give me a big hug...and that if he wasnt so shy he would kiss me.....

this week started with him asking me to find a hotel for him,he was coming to pick up his boy(he has a 2yr old from a previous relationship) and he wanted to see me...I didnt believe him,but 2 days ago, he came, in a bus because something happened to his car...I picked him up at the bus sation...we said hi with a kiss in the cheeks, he didnt hug me and neither did I....we walked to the car and I was definitely going to drive...I was still worried,I had never met anyone like that before...he opened the door for me...when we were in the car we talked like crazy...like we did through msn or txt messages or on the phone...it was a lot of fun...and felt nice to get along so well...

he was hungry so we went to a sushi place...he sat next to me and the conversation kept going all through dinner...we had the night to ourselves, he was picking up the boy the next day...we decided to go to a bar,nightclub or whatever...we had a couple of drinks and just talked...and looked around...we sat next to each other but then he turned to face me and I turned to face him too...we talked and talked...then the minutes of uncomfortable silence came....I would look around the place but I noticed he kept looking at me...then looked away,then back at me.....we started talking again,he touched my cheek...he said he liked my hair...then once he touched one of my fingers and I asked why and he said he noticed my nails were long...then held my hands...and showed me his nails...he bites them...he kept holding my hands for a while...I looked around,he looked at me...then I went to the bathroom...while I was there he sent a txt message: "see? I'm shy! I couldn't even hug you when I saw you like I said I would!"....when I was out of the bathroom and back with him I said: so,what about my hug?? and slightly opened my arms and he hugged me for a while...we just smiled and started talking again...then we left...

I went out with my jacket folded in my arms...it was really cold outside...I said I was cold and he said: put on your jacket, or do you want me to hug you? I just smiled and put on my jacket...

I was just driving around town...then he said we should go because it was late and I had to work early the next day...we went to the hotel...sat in the car in the parking lot...talking...I noticed he was nervous...he was sitting on the edge of the seat, he would move a lot...I said I was cold...he said, let me hug you...and he did, and for a while we just sat there, hugging and talking...I noticed he was breathing fast....then he said he had to go to the bathroom and asked me to wait in the car, I said I had to go too...we went into the hotel room...I went into the bathroom,then it was his turn...then we just sat on the bed and talked...he said he was cold and I didnt do anything...then he said see,I hugged you and you didnt hug me...so I hugged him and again we hugged and talked for a while....then I said I was leaving...I didnt really want to,because everything had felt so special and it was really cool to be with him...but I had to work...and I noticed he was sleepy too,it was really late...so we said goodbye and I left...

the minute I was out of the parking lot he sent a txt message saying: see, I couldn't kiss you either! I didn't have the courage...I replied I was going back...he said I wouldnt...I asked why he wanted to kiss me and he said he just wanted to,that he had told me already he wanted to...I said that if he really wanted he would have kissed me since we spent the whole night together...he said he already told me he was shy and not brave enough to take the initiative...I drove around the streets close the hotel, for some reason I couldn't just drive away...he then sent another txt saying: you must be home already,too bad I missed it, thanks for tonight, I really enjoyed being with you....

and I went back to the hotel, I don't know how I got the courage or why...I just did,when I was outside the room I sent a txt saying I was back for my kiss...he quickly opened the door and I walked in...he seemed nervous and quickly turned off the tv...the only source of light in the room...aside from a tiny gap between the window and curtain...

I asked him to hug me and he did,then he tried to kiss me and I moved away...I had never been kissed before....I started doubting and told him I was crazy and that I didnt know how I got the courage to go there...he said I was making him feel guilty and that maybe it was wrong...I told him I didnt mean to...but that it was all very weird,he said yes it is...he hugged me...he would rest his forehead in mine looking at me...after a while of "this is weird" and "I dont know" and "I'm just crazy"...he looked at me and asked: do you want to or not? and I looked at him and said: do you always ask?? and he said: noo...and I said: soo? and then he kissed me....for a long time...it was more intense than I ever thought my first kiss would be...after that we smiled and hugged...then I dont remember what he said and he kissed me again....as intense as the first one...then he just hugged me...and he asked me what I was thinking...I said I didnt know...he asked if I thought it was right or wrong and I said I didnt know...I asked back and he said he didnt know either....I asked what he was thinking and he said he was just wondering what I was thinking...he just wanted to know if I thought it was right or wrong....

then he looked at the time and told me I should go,I wouldnt be able to get up in the morning...or do you want to stay for a while? I could see he was very tired and I said I was leaving...we said goodbye again...I asked him to come back soon...and that was it..

yesterday he picked up his son and went back home...his phone battery was low and he had already told me he didnt have his phone charger...so his phone went dead and I barely talked to him during the day...at night I was online,but then had to go out and took longer than I thought,when I was back I had messages, since I didnt close my msn...he had said hi and asked how I was...but he was no longer online...I sent txt messages but he didnt reply,it was really late....today we sent a couple of txt messages during the day...after work I sent him another one,asking how he was doing...he said he was exhausted from the trip and work and the afternoon with the boy...we exchanged a couple of messages again and then he stopped answering...after a while I got another message,he said he had fallen asleep...we wished each other good night....

and now I'm just a mess..I don't know what to think...I wish I knew what was on his mind, when he saw me,when we talked,when I went back to the hotel,when we kissed....I wish I knew if he liked me or if I'm never going to see him again...

and I dont know what I should do...or say...what would you think if it had been you?? a girl you just met going back to a hotel room and kissing you....oh just any advice or any opinions would make me feel better....

he's coming back in 2 weeks to take the boy back to his mother...I'm hoping I can see him then,but I don't want to get my hopes high....I dont even know if he will stop talking to me...or if anything will change....I just don't know what to think!!

I just needed to let it out...

[Ryan Heitzman]

Sounds like you have the same luck I do when it comes to getting a mate.