Grieveing period?

[hound1092]

ok I need some advice, I am in a long distance relationship and communicate mainly threw email and my gf grandfather just died like a week ago and my gf said she did not want to talk about it and she has been having a really bad week. I have tried to start conversations and stuff like that but she either just replies with one word or doesn’t at all. Personally I don’t really grieve that long and am not sure if she is just majorly depressed or what…. I guess what I want to know is should I just leave her alone and let her get past it and wait for her to talk to me or should I just keep trying and try to get her to talk about it so we can get past this???

[vashti]

Wow - your girlfriend sure sounds like a mean and selfish b*tch. Can't you do better? I bet you could...

[Ellynn]

Ok, as someone who has already lost someone close to me( my father & grandparents).....I know how it is...

But everyone handles things differently... For me, it helped to talk about it with people......and one of them was even an ex of mine... They didn't really know what to say, but it was nice to have them listen... At least I could get how I felt about everything off of my chest...

But some people, prefer not to talk about it and just try to avoid the issue... This seems like how shes handling it. Shes probably still grieving...and therefore when that happens....sometimes people kinda alienate themselves. Seeing that it just happened a week ago.....thats pretty normal.. In time she should come around..

Just let her know you are there for her whenever she feels like talking... But don't push her to talk if she doesn't want to. Give her some time... That will tell if things will work out or not..

[shai`anne]

Let her talk about it when she's ready. Just ask her how she's doing today and things like that but not specificaly about the situation.

[vashti]

It wasn't HER grandfather who died, it was HIS, and she won't discuss it with him or try to offer him any emotional support.

::Why would I call her a b*tch if it were HER grandfather who died?::

[hound1092]

It wasn't HER grandfather who died, it was HIS, and she won't discuss it with him or try to offer him any emotional support.

::Why would I call her a b*tch if it were HER grandfather who died?::

It was her grandather who died not mine.

[vashti]

and my gf grandfather just died like a week ago

Didn't you write that? Oh, wait. nevermind. I thought gf was a redundancy for grandfather. Please spell your words out completely in the future and disregard what I wrote before. Ellynn is right. I give up.

[mhussain]

Let her grieve. Grief makes people act in strange ways. If you like her enough to be with her when she is not who you like, then you will get through it.

Hussain

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, you need to give her space, but you should think about how involved you want to get with someone who just shuts down like that.

Life is hard, and it's a lot easier if you spend it with someone who can engage other people emotionally. She sounds cold, but hey, I don't know the whole deal, so I could be wrong.

[mhussain]

Think of it like this. You get a scar on your arm and every now and then someone who cares about you keeps asking you how are you when you probably have been asked that a million times by others.

but before that ... Could you tell me how close she was to her Grandparent?

Hussain

[hound1092]

Think of it like this. You get a scar on your arm and every now and then someone who cares about you keeps asking you how are you when you probably have been asked that a million times by others.

but before that ... Could you tell me how close she was to her Grandparent?

Hussain

I dont know how attached she was to her grandfather, but to answer the other remarks above, I love her with all my heart, that is the only reason i am putting up with a long distance relationship. But to tell you the truth i am starting to get worried....

[Ellynn]

Yeah long distance relationships are hard... Thats why, I prefer not to get into one. I like a guy who lives like 400 miles from me(he feels the same), but I don't expect anything. I mean if we end up together we do, but if we don't we don't. Its kinda all up in the air...

We used to go out but he moved....so that kinda ruined things. But, we both have a mutual understanding that if someone else comes along and we want to get involved...then its ok.

I mean its all up to you and what you want....as well as her. Maybe talk to her about it when things settle down with her grandpa dying.

If you can't handle the lack of talking and the lack of physical contact, then maybe its best to go your separate ways...