Burned by infatuation. Please help!

[ChrisDavis]

This year has been tough for me.... I've been in 4 "relationships", if that's what you want to call them. My 4th and last ended today, and I need to understand why this is happening to me over and over again.

To give you an understanding of how they went down, ill give a brief explanation of each girl:

Jessica: Met her at school, began dating her in January. I felt increasingly strong feelings for her as we continued to date and become more intimate. For a few days, she couldn't possibly seem more completely into me. I was happy, because I felt strongly for her as well. She texted and called me almost non-stop, and wanted to hang out anytime i was free to. Then, suddenly everything changed for no apparent reason. She had no motivation to hang out and talk to me, and suddenly, she ended it all only a month after we initially started dating.

Tricia: Met her at school as well. Began dating her, developed strong feelings for her, and had strong feelings returned. She couldn't stop talking about me to her friends, and seemed very happy about me coming into her life. Then, suddenly for no apparent reason... everything changed. She stopped calling me, talking to her friends about me, and feeling for me. Suddenly, she ended it, and we had been dating about 3 weeks. Sound familiar?

Ashley: She was different than the other 3. We had developed a strong friendship before finally dating each other, and when we dated everything seemed natural. We were very comfortable with each other. After a couple months of dating, her ex boyfriend got kicked out of the navy(reason they broke up a couple years previous) and moved back in town. She told me she still had strong feelings for her ex, and left me for him.

Shanti: Shanti helped me get over my heartache with Ashley. We hung out a lot, and really enjoyed each others company. Her boyfriend broke up with her, so I found it to be my job to help her get over her boyfriend. One day, I realized I had developed strong feelings for her, so I opened up to her about it. She told me she felt for me as well, so we decided to start dating. Things got off to an extremely fast start... we treated each other as if we were in love, though we still didn't know each other very well. After a week of blissful, delusional infatuation, Shanti called me up and told me she couldn't move on to another relationship. That was this morning.

I'm sensing an issue with "infatuation". For the majority of my 2009 year, I believed that I was the one ruining these relationships because i was "trying too hard" or "cared too much". I thought that I was chasing away these girls with my own infatuation. Now, I feel like these girls are the one's being infatuated with me, then after realizing I'm not Mr. Perfect, they lose all their feelings and kick me to the curb.

Maybe I should take a break from dating, learn more about myself and not put myself in situations where infatuation is the driving force in a relationship?

[benbmf]

I think your moving in too quickly, you dont have to instantly try and form a relationship... I mean I was dating my girlfriend for couple of months before I made the move where we managed to learn loads about each other and we could see we were made for each other . Dont give up hope but give it a rest, dont look for it, you will find her when the moment is right. I never looked for a girlfriend and I randomly became interested in this girl i met at a party and we been together for 8 months. You just need to find the right girl, and it takes time, took me 17 years...

[ChrisDavis]

Thanks man, I totally see what you're saying. My problem is I tend to form feelings a lot quicker than most, so i have to keep that under control. I'll keep what you said in mind!

[Gigabitch]

I agree with ben- you're jumping into the deep end of the pool. Conserve yourself, Chris.