Please give me your thoughts. I'm sorry this is so long. I am 24, my fiance is 25. We have lived with his parents since I was 18 - at first, it was because we could not otherwise have afforded to go to college. I am still in college, while he stopped after getting his Associate's almost two years ago. My problem starts just after he graduated. He became increasingly ill - he was vomiting constantly, unable to eat, in severe stomach pain. Since he had no insurance, he refused to go to the doctor. Even after ending up in the ER, he dragged his feet and seized on any excuse not to go to the doctor. (He said two things, one that he couldn't afford it, and two that there was nothing the doctors could do for him.) During this, he couldn't work, and his parents pretty much paid all his bills. I became emotionally exhausted - I was (and still am) under a heavy school and workload. I would spend all day at school and working, come home to comfort and care for him as he moaned and cried in pain, only to do it again the next day. Finally, he had the necessary tests done, was diagnosed with multiple problems, and got on medication. Things got better, but I feel like he got too used to being taken care of. He has only half-heartedly looked for work. The bad economy makes it necessary to go after jobs aggressively, which he would not do. Finally, he's found seasonal work. Monday, he started feeling ill again. I told him to call the dr, he did not, and today he is back to being as sick as he ever was.
I can't take it anymore. I love him so much. He has always treated me with love and respect, but I need my own home. We have lived with his parents too long. We need to move out, and he needs to have steady work. But I can't afford to pay for both of us my own, and mixed with my sympathy for his illness and pain is frustration and anger. I don't need much. But I need my own home, I need to progress along the path to adulthood and independence, and I need a partner I can rely on. The illness isn't his fault - but that doesn't change the fact that I'm unhappy. Complicating this is that otherwise our relationship is wonderful.
What can I do? I feel so trapped and desperate. We can't have our own home unless he works, he can't work unless he's healthy, and even when he's healthy I'm not sure I can count on him to do what it necessary to find and keep a steady job. If I made enough money to support us both, I gladly would. The thought of not being with him makes me sick, but the thought of stagnating as we have been for the past two years makes me sick as well.
Please give me your thoughts on the matter. I just don't know what to do.