Can feelings towards someone change withing half a year?

[bf_fan91]

Ok, this is probably gonna be a long story, but I hope you guys will read through it and help me out. So there's a girl in my school, same age as me, lets call her Amber.

Two years ago I noticed her and started to have a crush on her. We used to talk quite a lot. One day I asked her out, she said yes (she probably didn't know it was supposed to be a date). So we went to get something to eat and talk. A few days later she started to avoid me. I asked her what was wrong: She said "nothing". So I started to forget about her.

About a year later, fall last year a friend of her, who at the time was kinda into me (which i found out later) told me that Amber had told her, that she noticed that I liked her and that that was the reason why she kept avoiding me. She also supposedly said she though it was "kinda disgusting". Now I'm not totally sure if she was telling the truth or not, but let's suppose she did.

About half a year after that incidence, which is like 1 or 2 months ago, Amber started talking to me more often. When I walk into her in the hall, she starts talking to me and laughing/giggling a lot. She sometimes comes up from behind, puts her hands on my eyes and asks who it is. She also touches me often on the shoulders and arms when we talk. I have two classes with her, and she often asks for my help.

I'm really confused, because from what she's doing now I'd think she's into me. But our "history" doesn't really fit into that picture. How can she like me more than a friend, when she used to think the thought of me was disgusting. Can someone's feelings towards someone change within 6 months?

What should I do? I can't really ask her out, because I'm afraid the same thing is going to happen again. I'd appreciate all your advice.

Thanks, Matt

[Teddy057]

Sounds like you two are very young. She's more than likely attracted to you but afraid to say anything. Just talk to her, I know it's difficult at your age, but just give it a shot. Life's too short to sit around wondering what people think, just ask her out man.

[FNM]

I'd say it's pretty indisputable that the behaviour she is displaying is how somebody would behave around someone they like. It's possible that her feelings have changed for you and she has seen you in a 'new light'. Having said that, I'd approach the situation with caution - things may not be at they seem. 6 months isn't a massive amount of time for a person's feelings to go from one extreme to another, so there is a chance that her intentions aren't pure.

I can imagine how you're feeling and I understand you not wanting to ask her out, but, I wouldn't recommend treading water. You don't want to be in the same position in 3, 4, 5 months time. My advice is to make a decision and follow it blindly. Decide whether you want to be with her or not.

If you do, come up with a simple plan to ask her out - nothing fancy, just a cinema trip or something. As long as she knows it's a date. Once you have an idea of how you'd like to ask her out, just do it. Speaking from experience, your mind is your own worst enemy in these situations. When I liked someone a few months ago, I kept putting off 'making a move' and just allowed the situation to control me. In the end, someone else beat me to the post. You've gotta grasp the nettle and go for it.

On the flip-side, if you feel too uncomfortable about asking her out or are not convinced that she truly likes you, just try and drift away from her. I'm not suggesting you be cold or nasty, just don't be so responsive to her flirting. I don't know how strongly you feel about her, but for me, the best way to get over one person is to find another, so put yourself out there.

Whatever you decide to do, don't hang around. It's best to strike while the iron is hot. You don't want to look back a month and realise nothing has changed in 30 days - trust me.

Good luck dude.

[Jas_mine]

Maybe her friend was conveniently lying, who knows.

Try asking her out to a group event so that it's nothing too intense and doesn't look too contrived, you know, like a 'few of us are heading to blah, blah, blah, you fancy coming?'. That way if she chooses to reject your invitation it won't be too personal. You are better off figuring out how exactly she feels about you before you make a bold move - you don't want to scare her off again!