long but need a girls view

[chiv]

basically this
my gf and i were together for about 2 years most of it long distance which is hard but we spent time on comp alot together in a voice program so we spent alot of that time together nevertheless. she did some stupid things broke my trust and i did a nono and talked to her brother to see whats up bc we are good friends too. i ended up saying to much and then she lost trust in me. anyways after this i visited her and everything seemed cool. so a few weeks later i had spring break and visited her for like 12 days and basically she said when i leave we arent together but up till that day we were together which was emotionally hard on me so i was trying to spend alot of the time i was there with her in case it was my last.

anyways she told me she needed space but we are in a ldr so i was like wtf kinda stupid but whatever i do call alot. so i stopped but i still was asking her to get back which wasnt space stupid on my part.

so anyways she told me she still wants phone sex and physical sex and stuff when we visit each other in summer??? weird to me im 24 im the type of guy who only wants sex with someone i love now not stuff for fun i want meaning. the kind i had with her we only did it a few times anyways so i asked her if she just wnated sex for fun and she said no its meaningful to her bc she loves me and wants me.

heres the thing she says she wants me and loves me but needs to be single right now. im like ok but then why are we doing exact same thing we did when we were together. basically talk every night on phone before bed for 5-20min, phonesex occasionally, txt each other stuff, she says she loves me. recently shes been calling me baby and saying i love u first to me not alot but she does still a few times a week. play games online together or just do other stuff online.

heres the thing i dont see how wanting to be single and doing the same thing she did in the relationship and saying she loves me and wanting sex is having her space and not being with me

anyways she told me she needs maybe a year granted im like thats a long time for something unsure right now she says the plan is to be with me but with that long of time u never know so like she says i dont have to wait. she said i could go live my life so i was like sad but im dealing with it. so anyways if i dont txt her or call her she will call me seeing whats up and try to talk to me at night.

so anyways i just went out with a girl last sunday just as friends bc im not wanting a relationship with anyone else nor ready even if i wanted which i dont. just wanted to get out and get something else on my mind for a change since its been like 6 weeks. anyways when im getting ready to go out she asks if i wanna do stuff with her online and im like im going out with so and so and shes like ok. so the next day she gets all jealous on me and i like ignore it. few days later we kinda talk about how we are feeling and im like how are u jealous when u dont want to be with me and shes like who wouldnt be jealous u take such good care of me and more crap which i do. i put her above myself in alot of cases but i enjoy that and thats who i am so its fine with me. like if i want a backrub ill only have her rub for a min or 2 then ill rub her bc i get satisfaction more from her satisfaction.

i asked her if this is her way of being with me without being with me and she says yes i figure i have better chances of being with her by being with her this way so her feelings stay. i also notice though if i just ignore her which is so hard to do she comes running to me.

i figured it could be some other guy but she assures me she wants to be with no one right now and i told her im not cool with any kind of stuff we are doing in meantime if she is bc its not fair to any of us and she agreed to cut this stuff off if someone else is there and her brother likes me alot and sees nothing like that he is amazed at this actually as much as i am.

im willing to wait for this girl bc i see a potential future with her and i love her. she says a few things which turn her off that i do. she thinks i check up on her when i call by asking her what she is doing kinda weird to me im just asking for conversation sake weve been together so long and its long distance right now so ya i ask what shes doing. so ive stopped trying to pose the question like that as much and cater better to how she likes me to ask her about her day than saying what you doing. i start by saying about my day or whatever or what i just got done doing which seems to help but stupid nevertheless. anyways the rest are just as weird but im willing to like adjust and meet halfway bc they are lil things that i dont really mind changing bc they dont define me or anything like that. in a few months ill have a job near her too which im doing for myself and for her so if she doesnt want to be with me then which im pretty sure she will at least ill be making a life for myself.

a few things we talked about getting pets and raising them in same house together after this like we would live together something she kinda suggested. she has said if i move out there she doesnt want to live with me which i never really wanted right now and i told her that. why would she even mention that we arent together? i dunno shes only 19 so i know shes young and wants to do things but im willing to do with her im 5 years older so ya ive expierenced things she hasnt but i want to do things with her like go out dancing or whatnot and have no problem if she goes out with her friends or whatever alone as long as shes being faithful i dont see any problem. this whole situation is a lil annoying.

i mean id move on but she just gives me so many signs so what do u girls think? any of u ever felt like this? i mean id think it was over but she just gives me so many signs that we are still together kinda but says we arent so i dont know.

[vashti]

Cliff notes version?

[shai`anne]

I stopped reading about half way through. Shorten it up some.

[Gigabitch]

I read the whole frickin' thing. All I can say is that I've never used the phrase "pussy-whipped" on LF before, but I am now.

Maybe for her birthday you can give her your balls in a decorative glass jar.

[chiv]

yes kinda pussy whipped atm but in general we compromise or meet each other halfway it used to be the other way around actually but really saying im pussy whipped isnt really advice on whats going on inside her

[sweet_thing23]

personally I think she is trying to move on but can't. The comfort factor is too great for her to just break it off. She wants to leave, by asking for space, but its too hard for her. She is 19 and not ready for such a commitment I believe. (IMO anyways)

[chiv]

well today she talked about wanting to like learn about herself sexually with me and all this other stuff and how im hers so its really kinda strange to me do i just give it time or what bc its so mixed signaled

[youre it]

basically this
my gf and i were together for about 2 years most of it long distance which is hard but we spent time on comp alot together in a voice program so we spent alot of that time together nevertheless. she did some stupid things broke my trust and i did a nono and talked to her brother to see whats up bc we are good friends too. i ended up saying to much and then she lost trust in me. anyways after this i visited her and everything seemed cool. so a few weeks later i had spring break and visited her for like 12 days and basically she said when i leave we arent together but up till that day we were together which was emotionally hard on me so i was trying to spend alot of the time i was there with her in case it was my last.

anyways she told me she needed space but we are in a ldr so i was like wtf kinda stupid but whatever i do call alot. so i stopped but i still was asking her to get back which wasnt space stupid on my part.

so anyways she told me she still wants phone sex and physical sex and stuff when we visit each other in summer??? weird to me im 24 im the type of guy who only wants sex with someone i love now not stuff for fun i want meaning. the kind i had with her we only did it a few times anyways so i asked her if she just wnated sex for fun and she said no its meaningful to her bc she loves me and wants me.

heres the thing she says she wants me and loves me but needs to be single right now. im like ok but then why are we doing exact same thing we did when we were together. basically talk every night on phone before bed for 5-20min, phonesex occasionally, txt each other stuff, she says she loves me. recently shes been calling me baby and saying i love u first to me not alot but she does still a few times a week. play games online together or just do other stuff online.

heres the thing i dont see how wanting to be single and doing the same thing she did in the relationship and saying she loves me and wanting sex is having her space and not being with me

anyways she told me she needs maybe a year granted im like thats a long time for something unsure right now she says the plan is to be with me but with that long of time u never know so like she says i dont have to wait. she said i could go live my life so i was like sad but im dealing with it. so anyways if i dont txt her or call her she will call me seeing whats up and try to talk to me at night.

so anyways i just went out with a girl last sunday just as friends bc im not wanting a relationship with anyone else nor ready even if i wanted which i dont. just wanted to get out and get something else on my mind for a change since its been like 6 weeks. anyways when im getting ready to go out she asks if i wanna do stuff with her online and im like im going out with so and so and shes like ok. so the next day she gets all jealous on me and i like ignore it. few days later we kinda talk about how we are feeling and im like how are u jealous when u dont want to be with me and shes like who wouldnt be jealous u take such good care of me and more crap which i do. i put her above myself in alot of cases but i enjoy that and thats who i am so its fine with me. like if i want a backrub ill only have her rub for a min or 2 then ill rub her bc i get satisfaction more from her satisfaction.

i asked her if this is her way of being with me without being with me and she says yes i figure i have better chances of being with her by being with her this way so her feelings stay. i also notice though if i just ignore her which is so hard to do she comes running to me.

i figured it could be some other guy but she assures me she wants to be with no one right now and i told her im not cool with any kind of stuff we are doing in meantime if she is bc its not fair to any of us and she agreed to cut this stuff off if someone else is there and her brother likes me alot and sees nothing like that he is amazed at this actually as much as i am.

im willing to wait for this girl bc i see a potential future with her and i love her. she says a few things which turn her off that i do. she thinks i check up on her when i call by asking her what she is doing kinda weird to me im just asking for conversation sake weve been together so long and its long distance right now so ya i ask what shes doing. so ive stopped trying to pose the question like that as much and cater better to how she likes me to ask her about her day than saying what you doing. i start by saying about my day or whatever or what i just got done doing which seems to help but stupid nevertheless. anyways the rest are just as weird but im willing to like adjust and meet halfway bc they are lil things that i dont really mind changing bc they dont define me or anything like that. in a few months ill have a job near her too which im doing for myself and for her so if she doesnt want to be with me then which im pretty sure she will at least ill be making a life for myself.

a few things we talked about getting pets and raising them in same house together after this like we would live together something she kinda suggested. she has said if i move out there she doesnt want to live with me which i never really wanted right now and i told her that. why would she even mention that we arent together? i dunno shes only 19 so i know shes young and wants to do things but im willing to do with her im 5 years older so ya ive expierenced things she hasnt but i want to do things with her like go out dancing or whatnot and have no problem if she goes out with her friends or whatever alone as long as shes being faithful i dont see any problem. this whole situation is a lil annoying.

i mean id move on but she just gives me so many signs so what do u girls think? any of u ever felt like this? i mean id think it was over but she just gives me so many signs that we are still together kinda but says we arent so i dont know.

I'd say she's using you until she finds the "right" guy. I hate to say it, but if she's going after just sex, that's what it sounds like to me. Especially because you said, in your last post, that she wanted to try herself out on you sexually...I'd step back before you get hurt....I don't think you're pussy whipped, either...I just think you care about her and probably want to do whatever it takes to get her back...but I think it's a bad area to step back into, honestly...I hope I'm wrong...probably not, though...