Why do I always find women with boyfriends / husbands?

[RobertWQ]

For some reason I seem to get disproportionately involved with women who wind up having boyfriends or husbands, and I don't know why (nor do I like it).

For example, my first real love and relationship, when I was 19, was with a woman who was 28 years old, and married at the time. She came onto me and kind of pushed the relationship along at first, and eventually her husband moved out for a period and I stayed at her house for awhile, just visiting though. Eventually the relationship between us didn't work because I wouldn't move to where she was, and they got back together.

Prior to that, I had an infatuation with a girl who was my direct boss at work. We messed around in a teenager (I was 17, she was 19) kind of way, though never had sex, and she had a long-term boyfriend and eventually stayed with him.

A little later on, I met and had an intimate encounter with a girl who had a boyfriend but wanted to leave him and be with me instead. It didn't work out because I didn't like the situation. She pushed it in this case also.

This type of thing has happened numerous times.

Now, I'm entwined with that girl I've been talking about, who I started having feelings for thanks to us working closely together for three months and her strategically omitting the fact that she had a boyfriend at every opportunity. She really pushed the interaction at the beginning IMO.


There's a pattern here. It's like I seem to attract women who are in relationships but not necessarily totally satisfied. And I wonder, why?

Is this just normal for a guy, or is there something else here? Women, thoughts?

[islandstyle]

Enjoy the fun mate. Remember they're adults capable of making their own decisions so they're fully aware of the circumstances. Just don't get into a relationship with them. When you're done having fun then that's when you court a singleton and hopefully built a life with. At least by then you would have had your fun and would be focused and faithful to your girl. Those ones you're playing with, it seems they skipped fun and went straight to relationship and now they're trying fun and in the long run only they're the ones who will feel the heavy burden of cheating on loved ones. Remember you're not because you're single.

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[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're weak and they can smell it and like the attention.

What do you like doing that single women would also be interested in? Where do you live when you're at school?

[searock]

It's the other way around. You are only attracted to, and only pursue, unavailable women. Why?

[RobertWQ]

No I don't think that's true. In each of these cases (except for the one with my manager at work) the women really were the ones who pushed it along. However, I guess you say possibly that I'm reluctant to get heavily involved so there could be something there. But again, these women definitely pushed these situations along, more than other instances when women were single.

[RobertWQ]

You're weak and they can smell it and like the attention.

What do you like doing that single women would also be interested in? Where do you live when you're at school?

I think there's something to this also. Most of these instances occurred during a down period when I was probably more vulnerable than usual.

[pcmaster]

Women dont need much. You look at them one second longer than needed and they take it as indication of interest. When you are free and single thats the oposite life of married woman. Ofcourse they see you as key to escape from prison and then want piece of your life. They will push just to get more attention from you just to get you talk to them. Its the oposites that attracts.

Some want to just play and lead on getting all the attention they can get without getting intimate. Others are looking for someone to cheat with on their other half cause BF cheated on them and they thing its okay to do the same.

However in the end of the day girls just want full range of emotions they want to escape the routine no matter they single or not.

[basilandthyme]

I'd lay money that lots of half decent men get chased by taken women. The question is, what makes some men chase while others walk away from the situation?

Other male posters out there.....is it just Robert, or has this happened to all of you? Curious to know if I'm onto something.

[Valixy]

I think that you mentioned in another thread that you aren't interested in a serious relationship or having children. While having or not having children is purely optional, the idea of partner that you project might be responsible for the attraction you develop towards women that can't offer you a serious relationship and this way satisfying your apparent emotional needs. Interesting though, you end up finding this far from fulfilling. Maybe you should change your attitude/view on relationships and then you'll start being attracted to women with different circumstances.