does it sound ok to you?

[teresa_w]

Hi everyone,

I am a newbie in romantic relationship and would be very thankful if someone could give me advice on my situation.

I met this young 25 year old guy who’s a professional the other day and we went on a date on Valentine’s Day. Everything went pretty well until the bill. He asked for the bill and then it came a while later. To show my courtesy, I took out my wallet and hand over my part (half of the bill for $200 (total for $400) as from the menu when the time we ordered the set dinner which we agreed on). He didn’t say anything and do anything except for simply looking! After handing over my cash to the waiter, he went back to the cashier but later got back to the guy asking for more probably because the waiter found out my part alone ($200) wasn’t enough to cover the whole and he understood I meant to pay for my part only. When the guy saw the bill came back to him from the waiter, he didn’t say anything and hand out $300 to the waiter. Because it was a Chinese restaurant, we were charged for the tea (so should be well over $200 for each of us) beside the food which I didn’t realize coz I hadn’t been to a Chinese restaurant for ages! Because of this, I gave him $100 and he changed me $50.

The thing that I am not very happy over the whole process is: is that my responsibility as a girl to settle the bill all by myself on the first date on Valentine’s Day? Would that be a better gesture for a man to show some generosity by pretending that they’d like to settle the bill by himself, or at least, share the bill? Do you think the guy just used me as a bill settler? I know that it was me who phoned him and asked if he'd like to have a drink, but it was his idea (without asking me in advance before booking a table) to have a dinner in an upscale restaurant!

IT was not the first time I came across with this situation about money.

The other time was with another guy whom I met at work. On the 2nd date, we went into a shop selling spots clothing. He picked a pair of sports trousers and asked me to pay for him with my credit card coz he didn't have enough money.But the thing is , we still weren't that close til that day. We never kissed or slept before. We just holding hands, do shopping and having meals together. And most importantly, the shop was pretty close to our workplace and he got back there the next day after work. There's no urgent need that he must buy them on that night!

So could someone tell me the answers to the above questions?

Thank you very much!

[Illusional]

ok wait, lemme rephrase your situation to see if i am understanding it correctly. when the bill came, you gave him 200 bucks and he ONLY put that into the bill. when the waiter had returned, he finally takes out 300 to cover the bill fully..correct??

if that is the case, then f*ck this guy. and your other guy that you talked about before. being that this is your umm.... "beginning" dates, paying half of the bill is more than enough. personally if i ask someone to dinner, i'm more than ready to pay the entire thing, even if it is 5 bills.


ps, 400 for a chinese dinner sounds a bit far fetched, did you have some dom with your dinner or something?

raverboy

[teresa_w]

ok wait, lemme rephrase your situation to see if i am understanding it correctly. when the bill came, you gave him 200 bucks and he ONLY put that into the bill. when the waiter had returned, he finally takes out 300 to cover the bill fully..correct??

if that is the case, then f*ck this guy. and your other guy that you talked about before. being that this is your umm.... "beginning" dates, paying half of the bill is more than enough. personally if i ask someone to dinner, i'm more than ready to pay the entire thing, even if it is 5 bills.


ps, 400 for a chinese dinner sounds a bit far fetched, did you have some dom with your dinner or something?

raverboy

sorry for confusion! I put 200 bucks into the bill in the waiter's hand. When the waiter had returned (after finding out the money was just for my part), he finally takes out 300 to cover the bill fully

hahah $200 isn't Aussie dollar so it's not really that expensive btw!

[iateyourcookie]

Yikes! The guy should've been paying for the whole dinner, imo. It is, after all, the first date. And he is a professional, so I don't think money isn't tight with him... right? Just dump him, he'll end up making YOU pay for the next date if he continues to behave like that.

[teresa_w]

Thanks heaps for your opinion iateyourcookie! I think I probably would say no to any further dates from him.