Is it really going to be worth it?

[NWE90]

Hey guys I'm new here, but I need your help. I'm 19 year old male, so I still have a lot to learn haha. My girlfriend is 20 (14 months older than me)

Ok so I've been seeing my girlfriend for less than a week and I'm already having my doubts. Bad right? We have been friends for almost 2 years but during that time she was engaged. However her fiancee was an abusive ass to her, even though everyone thinks he's such a nice guy. (They were seeing eachother for 4years) We somehow learnt that we both like eachother during this time they were together and we often discussed it (me and my gf that is). About 1 month ago she officially broke up with her fiancee although technically its been over for much longer.

About a week ago, she came back from university for the easter holidays, because we were such good mates and liked eachother, I decided to try and meet up with her by asking her out to the cinema, she agreed and when the day came, I couldn't get hold of her all day! I tried ringing her, I tried MSN and Facebook but no luck. When I finally got hold of her the excuse I got was "I didn't have any signal" but my instant thought was what about a house phone?

Anyways, over the next couple of days she stayed at a male friends house partying, I know no other details than that.

The next day I had a house party myself, she turned up and seemed rather bored at first, so when the opportunity arised I went outside to talk to her we instantly hit it off, I have no idea what I did. However this same night she kissed my best mate (who she has no attraction for) and flirted with him (smelling aftershave etc) right infront of me ??? I couldn't believe it, he was rather drunk and I saw for myself she kissed him. This really annoyed me, but I enjoyed the party nonetheless and eventually passed out in my bed. However when I woke up, there she was...in my bed with me? I have no recolection of her getting there but at the time I was just happy she was there.

A couple of days go by and she is supposed to be coming over to my house to watch some films etc, however she sends me a text saying she is ill...and that she will be over the next day. So fair enough she comes over the next day. And let me just say it was the most amazing day of my life, I have spent plenty of time with girls, but this was somthing else, she was amazing, I loved every minute of the day and I have never felt so comfortable with someone. That night we discussed whether we should start seeing eachother, and we came to an agreement that we would but it would be unofficial until the summer as she has only just split up from her fiancee.

So anyways, the next day (two days ago) she asks me online whether I would like to meet her at the pub for a couple of drinks with some of our mates (she had arranged this) I was well happy as it would be the last chance I get to see her before she goes back to university, so obviously I said yes. But...the next day I'm talking to her online and all I get is 15 minute periods where I'm waiting for an answer and then she says "I'm off now, not going pub tonight, will talk to you tonight" So I'm thinking great, why? and sorry would have been nice.

Anyways I haven't spoken to her since then. Her phone is switched off again, she hasn't been online. I just don't know what to do. But I have been finding out a few things about her which I never knew over the past couple of days. She apparently cheated on her ex-fiancee. She takes quite a bit of drugs. I have asked her about these things and they are all true.

I reckon last night she was getting drugged up somewhere which is why she wasn't online last night, and why her phone was switched off. It's just a guess but she had told me one of her mates had some cocaine. I have never touched drugs and feel very strongly against them but hey what can I do? The only other detail is that she has been spending most of her days with "an ex-boyfriend who is now gay"


I am really sorry for the long essay but I just needed to blow off some steam and see what you guys think?

Thanks in advance

Nathan

[NWE90]

Ok so I found out something from my best mate. Today she is at work, and then tonight she is going to the cinema with her ex-fianxcee :S apparently he wants to show her they can still be mates???

[nicecalm]

I would leave her without saying anything. She is cheating on you, it's obvious. She isn't worth you.

[lovemuffin]

Leave her. She's a loser.

[hohol]

i think you know math 1+1 =2
ok then your post = leave her immediatly
as i always say don't invest too much time nor too much feeling in those kind of relationship turn it into a give-and-take relation if you want to continue dating her

[carl1222]

First about you ... you've been dating this girl for only a week, and you already call her your "girlfriend." You are already exhibiting possessive and clingy behavior toward her. You should work on not doing that in future "relationships."

Your own personality is an absolutely awful match for a girl who is fresh out of a 4 year relationship, into living for the moment, treats promises like "suggestions," flirts in front of you, and probably f**ks for coke.

There is nothing good for you here no matter how amazing you may think she is. Bail out now before you get too attached. There is nothing but pain for you in any possible future with her.

Carl.

[Gigabitch]

You're not her boyfriend. You're a rebound.

[alovehangoverr]

You're not her boyfriend. You're a rebound.

Seriously.. did you really thinking getting involved with someone who used to be engaged to an abuser a month after the break up was going to work out?

Look at her erratic behavior with your mate, doing drugs, blowing you off, not committing to you at all.. it's right in front of your face and reeks of rebound behavior.

The fact that she blew off seeing you one last time to go out with her ex shows you were you are on her list of priorities.

Don't be shocked when they get back together.

[Sylbra]

I sort of cheated on one of my boyfriends with a hot looking guy - I told him the guy was "gay" (and he wasn't). I ended up getting caught. And it really hurt him. That was the only time in my life I sort of cheated. You should learn to stay away from people who do drugs, don't ever get involved. It really messes people up and makes them uncaring, insensitive, flakey, and sometimes downright mean. Plus the STD thing, drugs make it worse and more likely. Good thing for you that you don't do drugs.