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Thread: Have i lost her for good?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    6

    Have i lost her for good?

    Hello All,

    My ex girlfreind broke up with around 4 months ago now, And i did everything you shouldint do after a break up, Contacting her all the time, sending emails, nagging to get back with me etc.. Now i feel she hates me, and sees me as a annoying Ex. I look back now and wish i never did that, i can see how that will push her further away. She sais she wantes to be freinds, but when i do hear from her which is not often, shes like really cold towards me, and when she comes on msn she dosint msg me and i dont msg her, Even her mum seems cold towards me! i was quiet close to her mum she was like a 2nd mum to me. Shes also got a new boyfriend now, so im gussing the thought of me wont even cross her mind. we were together for 2.5 years shes 20 and im 21 btw. I'm doing the no contact now, but i think i left it a bit to late. I love this girl with all my heart, but i feel ive ruined any of my chances for a freindship with her. what should i do from now, keep up the no contact and wait till she contacts me? but i feel she never will.. have i lost her for good for doing that? any adice from a females point of view would be great...thanx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    2,569
    Yeah. You lost her for good. Time to let it go and move on dude.

    Rod Steele

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    4,614
    Well you did everything you werent suppose to do-but your emotions override everything and you think those things will help-showing how much you care etc...but in truth if the dumper is ready to move on and the dumpee shows and acts desperation theres no hope...she was ready to let go and you made things more difficult...you need to move on and dont sit around thinking the no contact rule is going to bring her back-it wont. With her already involved in another relationship-shes moved on...I know it hurts like hell-but youve got to let this one go-

    You cant change anything now-honestly you would be better off going out and doing other things...give yourself some time to heal. Dont sit around hoping. Im sorry it sucks so bad and hurts but everything happens for a reason-may not see it now-but someday when someone else comes along-you'll know then...
    everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    470
    Hate to be another bearer of bad news but yes it would seem that you have pushed her away forever. I would say it's time to get out and see what else is out there.

    Maybe years down the road your paths will cross and you'll be able to reconnect on a friend level, but for the time being - it's over.

    I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend. - Jack Handy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    29
    Consider me the eternal optimist, but I don't think all is lost...

    Ok, yes, you did a lot of things you shouldn't have. No one likes to be smothered and no one wants to be with someone who appears desperate. I know this because my ex boyfriend told me I was being and doing both. So I know what it's like to let your emotions get the best of you and do a string of super dumb things. However, my ex and I share a ton of history together. If your good times far out weigh the bad, there is hope.

    Just let a lot of time pass by and let her ill feelings towards you fade away. Then when she's least expecting it casually say hi. Don't be pushy, don't be needy, just be breezy and keep it very very light. Its all in how you present yourself. Show her that you've got it together and that your life is amazing, but make her think (much later down the line) that she'd be a welcome addition to your life. Don't say it, show her.

    If you really think she's worth it, you're going to have to put a lot of effort and patience into this, but unlike everyone else I don't think it's impossible. To be a little bit of a mood breaker, I do have to say that as a female, we know exactly who we are and aren't going to give 1st chances to, second chances to and so on. If her mind is completely made up about you, there's not a whole lot you can do. However, I wouldn't give up if I really was in love with her. If you're not then move on.
    ...Taste The Rainbow

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Out in the garage
    Posts
    328
    This situation seems quite similar to mine. A year back i was with diz girl whom got realli close to my heart and we've been together for almost a year. As things happens, we figured we're not meant to be together and broke up. i was feeling v depressed and e tot of her was constantly in my mind and at first e loneliness was slowly creepin up on me and i wanted to contact her cos i miss her but i didnt let my pride allow me. I know that once a couple broke up, its hard to remain as friends. few months passed and we didnt contact each other. Then one day i was on my way to a football practice when i bumped into her. Seems she was goin jogging around that area. At first it was awkward but i somehow talked her into dropping by the my practice ground and talk for a little. We did talk later that evening and her usually silent msn nick msged me that night. Seems like we're back to friends again. My point is, don't give up hope of being friends again. Though being back to being a couple is hard or almost impossible, u might still be friends. She didnt say that she hates u right? Dont try to think too much into it cause it all depends on fate and how she feels towards u.Past is past, live the present and look forward to the future!

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