no contact rule broken, why?

[didntshedatear]

Hi All,

I wont go into all the gorey details! but basically for 5 years ago I had an affair, I am married and at the time of the affair I only had one child. My husband and I were going through a tough patch, and I made a terrible mistake and started seeing someone from my work.

My affair made it clear from the start that there were no feelings to be involved, no strings - he had a wife and that was that. I had no interest in leaving my husband either, so it was just a pysical relationship. I never had sex with him, I despite everyting could not make that step, and nor could he as he never pushed the issue.

After a few months, we grew very close, we were not only great friends, we had made a connection, ya I know it sound mushy, but it felt like we were soul mates - and this closness scared the both of us. I think he was getting feelings for me, and I was also starting to have feelings (I don't recall that we were open about these feelings, it was a subject we didn't like discussing, though we did start taking about both getting divorces, but not for the specific reason of being together, it was very weird - I don't think either of us wanted to admit what we were feelings, incase the other backed off. I mean it was always a deal feelings were not to be involved).

My husband started noticing that I was distracted and not myself, I decided I could not put my child or my husband through a divorce, and decided to cut all contact with the other guy.

My affair didn't react fased that I wanted to stop contact, he more or less shrugged it off, and made me feel like I was childish for not being able to be friends. I had a need for NO CONTACT, which I made clear. My reasons were to come over the pain of giving up someone I cared about, a friendship that meant a lot to me, but I knew the pysical side would be hard to resist if I did't make a complete cut.

Ok 5 years go by - I have moved on, I have another child, who was made out of love for my husband and 1st child. We have a great life, and over the past 5 year I have ingorned any attepts my affair made to contact me. (there were one or two attepts which I ignored).

So a few weeks ago, he contacted me again. This time I don't ignore him, I feel like I am there were the feelings are gone, and I have no problems replying telling him about my family ect, ect. He then writes what would I do if we turned back time, would we do anything different. I reply no, it was a mistake.

We e.mailed a little bit after that (max 2 days,max 3 e-mails, it wasn't much), but then he stopped completetly, without saying good bye or lets stop emailing or anything like that. I at least explained my need for no contact back in the day!

I know feel terrible, I don't know why keeps trying to get into my life again, I don't know know why l let him, but now I feel like all the old feelings have come back again and I feel terrible. He never told me he had feelings for me, so I presume its not because he loves me or anything!

Any Ideas of what this guy is after, why does he not repect my no contact? (I know I wrote back, but I wasnt expecting him to tallk about our "past"). He did also write that he has children now, so he must have moved on too! Any why did he just stop contact suddenly?

I would like to hear some anyone who could help

Thanks
Didn't_shed_a_tear

[alter_ego]

I think he wants you back... at least is sounds that way to me.
You should be glad that he stopped, since your old feeling was returning.

I think that you should break all contact with him, contact would make a great deal of damage to your marriage if you husband found out.