Crush On a Co-Worker--He Has A Kid, Too Risky?

[kind_heart]

Hey Everybody,
Well, it’s me again! I figured I received so much great advice from all of you regarding me and my boyfriend I decided that maybe you could help my friend. Her name is Chantel and she wanted advice on this co-worker of hers.

Some Important Facts

Ø The both started working @ T.J. Maxx around the same time, I’d say November 2003 as seasonal workers, and now both work as part-timers at the store.

Ø The guy in question is named “D”. He’s 25 years old and goes to the University of California--Riverside. He likes to party and she found out that one of his friends is getting married next week and so he is going to a bachelor party in Vegas next weekend. From what she heard one time he’s been single lately (she said one day they we closing and the manager had asked all of them what they had planned for Valentine’s Day. “D”s answer was that he life in the romance department has been a bit disappointing and that he was just going to go out with friends).

Ø Now, as most or all of you know when you go to the workplace gossip is inevitable. Well, she heard from a trusted confidante at work, that “D” and the confidante were closing one night and the subject turned to children. Chantel tells me that majorities of the ppl our age at the store (mostly the girls) (I’m 20, she’ll be 20 in August) have kids. So this confidante found out that “D” has a baby girl about 4yrs. Old. It took the confidante by surprise b/c as long as he’s been working there that maybe that info would have been known by now.

Ø I’m taking that to mean that this guy doesn’t talk about his personal life all that much, and for good reason especially in a very gossipy work-place that Chantel has told me about.

The Problem

Okay so here is the problem. Chantel really likes “D”. She has told me she has weighed the pros and cons of possibly dating a co-worker and would like to go through with it. However, she is very shy. She’s told me that if they are in the break room together with on their 15 min or lunch break neither will say anything to each other except maybe Hi or Bye followed by long periods of akward silences. She’s also iffy about the kid situation b/c that in itself presents challenges along with the differences in ages which mind you aren’t that much.

What she wants to know is how can she improve her chances of getting herself more noticeable, and what advice would you all give to her regarding the facts that I have presented here.

Oh, btw he talks and carries on conversations with everybody else but with her he ignores or doesn’t say much at all.

[squirrley]

One of two things here maybe 1) hes not interested in her or 2)hes interested but shy himself.

She can either stand back and do nothing and wonder everyday or take the first step and talk to him-start to get to know him...small talk. If shes interested how is he gonna know that if shes not doing anything and vice versa. Someones gotta give-why not her?

The co-worker thing is always a walk most people dont want to take-because of the what if it doesnt work out what will happen at work? What will be said? But theyre not full timers there...so who cares. I think its VERY smart he doesnt talk about his personal life-most people should follow his suit...but tell her to go for it-life is too short not to!!!! Put on those big smiles and say hi!