Need input from a female

[demode1204]

Thanks in advance for any input

I met a girl about 2 months ago. The chemistry between us was awesome off the bat. We shared so much in common and things where as I've never experienced before. This week I decided to talk to her regarding where we stand. I wanted to let her know I wanted something serious. She choose to speak via email being that I wont be seeing her for about 5 days. I asked in my email if she felt happy where we stand and what direction she wanted things to head. Her reply was a shock to me. I'd like you guys to read it and give me input on how I should take this:

Ok, we've never really discussed were we stand so Im really not 100% sure. In what direction do you see this going? Mike, I really like you too and by no means do I want to hurt or mislead you. I agree with you that we have a great deal in common and we have a blast together. This weekend some unfortunate things happened and some irrelevant things were said so if your talking about this weekend there is your answer. I think we were both a little standoffish. I have a lot going on right now, things that just dropped on me this weekend and Im not sure if a serious relationship is at my best interest at this moment. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I really think I need sometime to myself. Meaning, my past two relationships were back to back and a couple of days after I ended my last one I met you. I think Im rushing into things way to quickly and I need to take a relationship breather. I realized that this weekend. Its sux because your awesome but I really do think that I need sometime to just be me with out anyone else for right now.

I really dont know what we are or where its going all I can say is that you make me very happy and I love hanging out with you. Maybe we really weren't on the same page but like I said we never really discussed it. I noticed that both of us were distant this weekend and that was a bit weird.. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I started thinking about what I really want out of this.

Mike, this weekend confused the hell out of me as well. I don’t like that feeling and that is what made me realize that I was way ahead of myself once again. Its not just about taking things slow. I really don’t think Im ready for another relationship at this time. You’re a great guy who I know has great plans for himself. I don’t want you to pass up the opportunity to be with a great person because of my indecisiveness. Im not going to play any games with you. It is what it is, there is no gray area. I've noticed that we are in different places more so this weekend. We do have a whole lot in common but we are very different. Friends sounds like a great idea to me.. Only because I don’t want to give you any sort of run around.. That is not fair to you... What do you think?


In a nutshell id like to know if I should continue as her friend even though I have feelings for her. Or should I just let it go? If I remain as friends its only for the sole purpose of hope that when she's ready we can pick up where we left off.

[Ellynn]

I think that if she really liked you like that, she would jump at the opportunity to date you.

Right now she seems confused about what she even wants. So, you can either hang around "in case" she changes her mind or move on and keep your options open to whoever else may come along.

[Gigabitch]

I don’t want you to pass up the opportunity to be with a great person because of my indecisiveness. Im not going to play any games with you. It is what it is, there is no gray area.

What a crock of shit. That whole email is a gray area.

Anyway, long story short, she said NO. I advise to move out of her life, because I honestly don't think people who are attracted to one another make very good friends. Your friendship is just you waiting to date her and her holding you off.

Balls on that.

[demode1204]

Thanks for the imput you guys. I'll await and see if I get other opinions but I will consider your advice

[vashti]

Damn, I just posted in your other thread on this topic.

[bluesummer]

I think I have to give her kudos for at least being honest about not being sure she's ready to jump into another relationship so soon. Truth is, you may be a great guy for her, but until she's ok in her head about it, it will never work out for you two anyway. Give her her space, and move on. When she comes to a point where she's ready for a relationship again, maybe she'll look you up and take a chance at it. But any person who says they think they need a breather from the relationship scene, from my expereince, really needs it.

Good luck.

[Mrs. Bubbles]

I say move on. Shes not ready, and while you wait for her you might miss someone good. Follow the saying let it go, and if its meant to be then she will come back to you.