My Mom Being totally Controlling??? What DO i DO

[Sami09]

I am 21 and i been with my man for over too years. Just recently my cousin who isnt marriage and is a year or two older then me had a kid. because of that my mom is getting all worried that i am going to get pregnant she is saying how i should go to the doctor. My mom was really upset that i got home at 3 clock last nite now she wants me to be home on the week days at 1 am. I dont know what to do i want the freedom to be able to stay out as late as I want too. I also want her to understand that when i go out drinkin its easier if i just go to my man house and stay the nite because it cost so much for a taxi. This summer me and my man want to go away for a weekend but i dont know if that is possible. and advice would be really great thanks

[Tone]

Is movin out a possibility? I mean, if you live in your mom's house and she pays the rent, you should follow her rules, even if you don't like them. =/

[Sami09]

No Movin out isnt really possibly i dont really have the money. I guess i could stay at my boyfriend parents house. It reality i cant really follow all of these rules she treating me like i am 15. Help people i need more advice

[misombra]

don't move in to your boyfriends parents house. that would be miserable. you have to abide by her rules if you're going to live there. otherwise get a job and move out.

[Tone]

don't move in to your boyfriends parents house. that would be miserable. you have to abide by her rules if you're going to live there. otherwise get a job and move out.

Yup, that's what's up.

[Asip4u]

When i lived with my parents, i went by their rules and I noticed if I told them where I was and called them, they allowed me to stay out till like 3am most times.

[Sami09]

I am looking for a job and so hope to find one soon. I think I am just going to talk to my mom and try to get my mom to stop being this way. I am 21 not 11. Have anyone been in the situation before and if so what did u do.

[Tone]

Hmm maybe talk to her, and be like "Mom look I'm 21 years old. If I'm going to get pregnant, you being overprotective and giving me curfew's isn't going to stop that. You can't control me"

If you wanna be really bold about your 1am curfew say "Do you think people only have sex after 1am?" but I wouldn't recommend it :P

[shh!]

I am looking for a job and so hope to find one soon. I think I am just going to talk to my mom and try to get my mom to stop being this way. I am 21 not 11. Have anyone been in the situation before and if so what did u do.

Everyone with a mother that did her job has been in your situation. WHile you are living at home, unemployed, and relying on her for all of your living expenses, you are still dependent on her. She will treat you like an adult when you ACT like one, meaning supporting yourself fully in your own place. Until then you will have to respect her wishes. And by the way, I don't think 1:00 during the week is unreasonable. She probably is waiting for you to come in so she can stop worrying about you, and she probably has to work in the morning. I think she sounds pretty nice, actually.

[Sami09]

thanks everyone for the replies so far. My mom is just being controlling its like she worried what happened to my cousin going to happen to me. I never in my life had a curfew i dont think it far at 21 to have one. I know she was properely worried and upset i wasnt home. At 21 i should be able to make my own choice. Sometime after going to a bar i just want to go back to my man house and chill isnt that understandable. I want to go away in the summer for a weekend with him to niagara falls it would be a blast. Tone what you said was funny about having sex can happen before 1 i wouldnt say that to her. She would be really freakin out.

Everyone with a mother that did her job has been in your situation. WHile you are living at home, unemployed, and relying on her for all of your living expenses, you are still dependent on her. She will treat you like an adult when you ACT like one, menaing supporting yourself fully in your own place. Until then you will have to respect her wishes. And by the way, I don't think 1:00 during the week is unreasonable. She probably is waiting for you to come in so she can stop worrying about you, and she probably has to work in the morning. I think she sounds pretty nice, actually.

[Prodigal]

1 am is pretty reasonable for going out every night... like Asip said, why don't you let them know if you're going to be later? Sounds like a good idea to me. Everybody is right; if you're living at the 'rents house, they still kinda do have some leverage over you... as much as I'd hate to admit that myself.

[Sami09]

I guess some of you are right about 1 being semi reasonable. Its just i am 21 sometimes on the weekend we go to bars and after that its easier to just go to his house or there other times it better if i just stay out and not come home. It almost as if my mom doesnt trust me and its hurt just because what happened to my cousin doesnt mean its goin to happen to me. thanks all for the advice

1 am is pretty reasonable for going out every night... like Asip said, why don't you let them know if you're going to be later? Sounds like a good idea to me. Everybody is right; if you're living at the 'rents house, they still kinda do have some leverage over you... as much as I'd hate to admit that myself.

[Junket]

don't move in to your boyfriends parents house. that would be miserable. you have to abide by her rules if you're going to live there. otherwise get a job and move out.

Done and done.

[Snibbles]

Well, i agree with Tone. If your living in her house, she makes the rules. If she wants you back by one, then you should follow her wishes and be back in your house by one. I know it seems your mom is over reacting, but she is just looking out for your safety, my mom is exactly the same way.

[Only-virgins]

Hey I dont agree on the following her rules. She can tell you what to do in the house and were to stay because you live there but your life out-side of the house is your life and not hers anymore at 21.