Over reacting?

[holly316]

My boyfriend and I live an hour apart. This week he was crazy busy, but we still talk every night, phone sex and pics to keep the connection, we both work hard to stay connected, since we only have the weekends.. Sat into Sunday to be together. He coaches BB, their tournament was today.

We had unspoken plans... well I thought for Sat. He wanted me to come down Friday night but I had car trouble. My car is being repaired by my dad, but I have my family's extra car. Called him to say my car wasn't fixed, but had my mom's to use. Told him I was going to shower, get nails done, and pack to go to his place. His brother called, we said we'd catch up in a bit.

Texted him from nail salon, to say it was going to be a long wait. His response, no worries, going to shower, grab a bite and go to a friends to watch the Duke -Kentucky game at six. I texted back confused... do you still want me to come down? no response, called...got noise and a hang up. Called back, got voicemail.

Then a text back , i thought you still had ma's car, were tied up with that and doing errands etc. going to gym now for a but, then home, shower, meal, game should be home by 9:30, maybe after ot tomorrow when your car is str8. Got text when he was done gym, A text at 9:50 he was home... Here lies the problem. I googled the BB game, just to see the score when we talked... there was no Duke / Kentucky game tonight.

I have never known him to lie, but he usually calls in the car on his way, tonight only texts, and the hang up along with the game not being accurate (He knows I don't follow) I am not ready to confront and be an all out crazy woman, but I feel he hid something tonight. Perhaps he just wanted a night alone after a long crazy week, and tomorrow is fine as we are both off on Monday... is there a way to confirm the lie without being obvious. I hate that I have a sinking feeling, and if its just that he needed a night to himself and didn't want to hurt my feelings Im ok to let it slide. I want him to relax on his weekends, go out with his friends etc.

The source of my angst is that we have been freinds for 20 years, and we had a friends with benefits relationship after college before we were dating. I was his once a month something on the side while he was in a relationship...maybe he still has that habit? and there is a cutie who was free tonight. I feel awful for thinking it, but now am wondering. Do I trust my gut...I know he would know the correct teams playing if he were going to watch a game, hes a sports nut !

[HeartIsAching]

You're not necessarily overreacting...

It is possible he was watching a time-delayed game on a DVR or something, but frankly, I think you need to ask him. It sounds suspicious to me.

[bulrush]

Sounds suspicious. Double check the facts, or something, before jumping to conclusions. This being suspicious means you need more facts before you decide what's going on.

[holly316]

Appreciate the responses, its just not a good feeling to feel as if the one you love is hiding something.

I tried a million ways to think of how to ask him about the game without confronting, which I think knew would end badly. If it was an honest mistake then I would have been the crazy one, and there would be no return. I decided to let it go and enjoy our time together. We spent Sunday into Monday together, nothing was different, we had a great dinner with his parents, cuddled on the couch, went to a movie, he took me to get my nails done, and buy dog food. Called to make sure I got home ok all like normal. He is the type that does need down / alone time often, and he had been coaching late after school all week. He may have just wanted /needed a day to himself. We were both off on Monday so we had the extra day.

I am going to let this one slide, and just keep my eyes open a bit. I will not resort to snooping, its not in my character. If I feel the need to snoop, then its time to end things but I don't want to be a fool either. If something like this happens again, I will have to bring it up. I can't control what he does, just my reaction to it. In this long distance relationship, trust is important. If I don't feel I can trust him, sad as it will be, I have to walk away. I know sometimes when guys are getting to the point that they want out, they act like jerks first, to try to create a confrontation. Hopin' this is not the case.

We will see

[bulrush]

I tried a million ways to think of how to ask him about the game without confronting, which I think knew would end badly.

If he is unable to talk about you not getting your needs met (sounds like you need time together, or at least honest communication about how important the game is, or where he is), then he is not a keeper. Clear communication is critical in a long term relationship. For casual relationship, not so much.

(Immature) guys can get defensive for many reasons. Only one of which is they are hiding a girl on the side. He might have a need to back off the relationship a bit, without breaking up. Or he may really need to see the game with his buddies (which may have been recorded.) But his actions do sound suspicious.

My point: be suspicious of any people (guys and girls) who lack communication skills.

[MInME]

all i know being a guy is any type of lie no matter how small is to hide something for whatever reason. does not mean he was with another girl exactly but im almost positive it means somethin