Need Guys Opinions

[tiredoflove]

Hey Guys,

I really need your opinion. About three months ago I met this guy through a mutual friend when we were out clubbing one night; we hit it off from there on. And started talking everyday for the next few weeks.
After my birthday one night I saw him out and we spent a few hours together and at the end of the night we kissed.
The next two weeks after that I spent most days with him getting to know each other face to face and eventually we slept together. I know by doing this that this guy would not feel the need to make me his girlfriend because we never spoke about our future, but I also did not have feelings for him at the time and I’m sure he felt the same way.
Majority of the time it is him that always calls or sends me messages to see me as I never wanted to seem more interested on it then him.
The last time we hung out was last Thursday at his house just chatting and also watched a few movies, than I saw him out that night clubbing. It was only brief as we were out with different friends so we didn’t stick together that long.
He messaged me the Friday night as well to see what I was doing and how Thursday night went.
That Saturday night I saw him out again a few times, our conversation was cut short but sometime during the night he said something to me that I can’t quite shake, he said that a lot of girls had been buying him drinks all night and he tells them he is single and then after the girls buy him drinks he says that he is taken. I don’t know why he would say this to me it confused me a little.
After all the time we’ve spent together and how well we get along I gained feelings for him when I wished I hadn’t because it’s a complicated situation as I am almost 3 years older than him.
We were supposed to catch up that Sunday but decided we would change it to Monday, me thinking he’d send me a text Monday to come over but he never did. I feel like by pushing to hang out I might have scared him away as I would have looked too interested to hang out but we’ve never had this problem before.

This whole situation has been doing my head in and I just want some answers.

I’m not sure what to do, whether I should message him or just leave it.

Hope you can help

[1337lizard]

Look, the idea that the man should be the only one doing any chasing is ludicrous. This isn't the 19th century.

Most likely your seeming indifference after 3 months of knowing the guy and not trying to pursue things any further, even after sex, raised the signal in his mind that you aren't interested.

You want advice? Stop playing games. You like the guy so flirt with him, ask him to hang out, and hint very strongly that you can see yourself dating a guy EXACTLY like him. If you're expecting him to do all the work for you, then you're honestly behind the game by a lot. Girls are expected to pick up some of the slack in a relationship, and that includes starting one.

[1337lizard]

Oh and the thing about the drinks: don't worry about it. He was telling a joke. He tells the girls he's single to get them to buy him drinks then blows them off by saying he's taken. Chicks do that to guys all the time so I'm kind of amused to find a guy pulling the same card out of his sleeve. Sounds like a keeper ;-D

And it didn't mean anything in particular about you, although if he's getting that much attention you should stop fooling around.

[VincenzoG91]

A 3-year age difference is nothing to worry about, especially since you're both old enough to go to the clubs.

It sounds like you have both been taking the situation for granted and never really put a label on your relationship. But now that it looks like he might be seeing other women, you're starting to realize that you do have feelings for him.

What do you want from him? If you want a serious relationship, you're going to need to tell him, because right now that may be unclear to him. If you don't want a serious relationship, then it shouldn't bother you if he's hanging out with other girls. I suspect that his comment about the drinks might have been an attempt to draw you out, to see if you're ready to get serious with him. Or maybe not.

Since you both have money to spend at the clubs, why not try going on a real date instead of just hanging out at the same location? The change of pace might give you a new perspective.

[Doc Durian]

Find out where he's meant to be hanging out, show up, and have a bartender deliver him a drink with a note, "I'm taken with you but we're still single."

When he looks up and around, spots you. Smile at him, then look elsewhere.

If he comes over, you have your answer.

[tiredoflove]

Sorry about the late reply. Thankyou all for your advice, but I learnt that this guy has been seeing another girl. So this proves to me that he wasn't worth wasting time on or even thinking about.
Thanks again.