We've been going out for more than 3 years, we always fight over silly things specially when we were in high school. But we always fix things. But for the past year, it has been pretty shaky , we always fight and he would just ignore me, my messages and my phone calls, then he will send me a message saying he is ignoring me because I did that to him before basically he kinda likes doing revenge, well at least that's how I see it . There was one time I was very sad over a silly fight and would leave him but if he tells me to stay I stay because I love him. But after a year when we fight he will leave and if I stop him he will not stay instead completely leave me in the mall, then I will call him and beg him to come back . He's a nice guy but sometimes he changes his attittude but he told me he changed because of what I turned him into. During the relationship he was very tight, I am not allowed to do things, like he needs to know all the things I am doing everything basically, until last year I burst out because he wont even talk to me properly he wont message me or ask me to see him . I sent him a very long sincere email telling him how I feel, that before he was tight but now he completely doesn't care about me nor talk to me, I told him I am breaking up with him but he didnt say a word after 3 days, I was devastated,, a guy at work who was very nice asked me out, I only see him as a buddy though because I was sooo hurt, I agreed to go out, with in that three days, but I didn;t expect my boyfriend would come back and ask me to go back, but before that I had to call him and he asnwered finally , I told him I am seeing someone , but still he wants me back, but because I wanted to know if he really wants me I didn;t get back together with him even if I want to already , but I messed up I had sex with the guy who asked me out , I really regret it , But still my boyfriend wants me back, but when he saw me and the other guy together he started hurting me physically, but I asked him to stop and will fix the relationship, he didnt want too this time, it was pretty hard because he will leave he will come back, so I decided to fix it and met up with my bf at a restaurant, wrote him a letter of our memories, gave him a gift a bear and a name plated toy car and let him listen to a song, he shut me down, he said he cant be with me anymore, because I had sex with another guy, I told him I really regret it and I was out of my mind, that I am deeply sorry and willing to fix our relationnship, he ignored me, after a few days I'd call him and will ignore me, until one day he messaged me and said if everything i said was true we will fix it, he told me he still loves me, I was soo happy but he told me to fix it I should find another girl for him to have sex with it has to be one of my friends, i didnt know what to say, I wanted to do it so badly but when I told my friends they don't want too. obviously I know that I just had to try, but for the past few months me and my boyfriend were okay, we see each other he treats me nice like a normal bf gf but when I do something stupid he leaves, Like very childish things and always tells me if i do something he doesnt like he will leave. Also he doesn't even want to add me on facebook he doesnt want to tell our friends that we are going out . Last week we got in a fight becayse he said I am hiding something cuz I changed my psword on facebook, I said yea but I put our aniiversary month instead he said he doesn`t believe me and asked me to leave him alone, I didnt want too I want to hold on to him because I love him, but now I apologiizied everyday, sent him emails of why I fell in love with him , of how I wanna take care of him and a video of our pictures, he ignored it, he said face it you cant fix it anymore so leave, I told him what ever happens I am here for him that I truly love him and sorry for everything, he stopped talking to me, or he talks to me but like just to say leave me alone go too other guys
I am very scared to lose him, I really regret all the wrong things I have done, I dont want to lose him, I love him so much. I know I did wrong things to him but my point is big mistake or small mistake I really regret it, he was never a perfect bf either but wont admit it, I mean no one is perfect right
Guys what do i do , what do I tell him
Please Help
Thank you !