My boyfriend likes to flirt and doesn't see anything wrong with it

[sceescee89]

He loves to flirt.. that's the way he is. I've told him that I thought when he gets physical (like picking them up) hurt my feelings and I thought that it was unacceptable behavior in a serious relationship.

Today I was eating lunch with my friend and I saw him across the lunch room. He was just talking to a group of about 3 girls.. did nothing. Looked friendly- I felt a pang because I swear he has so many girl friends. He sees someone else he knows and he puts his head up near her ear and I know he was doing his little "creepy voice" thing he does. I saw him kick her leg playfully. He soon left and I called for him. He didn't hear me so I got up and followed him.

He acted kind of strange and I don't know whether it's just me, but I was just feeling hurt. He kissed me and I saw the group of the three girls looking at me... which made me wonder. I don't know maybe they were just looking at me innocently. I told him that I was trying to get his attention and I was staring intently at him to see if he would notice and he just acted strange thenceforth.

I mean, am I just thinking too much about this? When I ask him why he does flirt the way he does he says its just the way he is... I told him I thought he got too physical with other girls.. and then when I saw him playfully kick her leg it bothered me. Should I bring it up?

[Raze]

OMG is this a deja vu post? Almost the exact same post was posted a few weeks ago.

[lahnnabell]

I'm guessing you're in high school. Boys at this age are just that. Boys. They don't have much self-awareness, nor are they very aware of how their actions affect others. Someday when he really likes and respects a girl, he might understand how it feels when that person disrespects him in such a manner. Until then he'll probably just float from girl to girl, getting his kicks where he sees fit.

You should hold him to your standards and if he fails to measure up just say, "NEXT!" There will be plenty of others

[sceescee89]

I'm a junior in college actually lol. UGHHH

[doppelgaenger]

What you should do is decide whether this guy is really what you want. You're in college, you shouldn't be putting up with that shit if you don't want to.

[lahnnabell]

I'm a junior in college actually lol. UGHHH

Haha. Well, hey, at least you got an honest look at yourself this way. It really does sound like you're in high school. Boys don't really grow up until they start earning their own keep and practicing how to independent, functional adults. This I've learned after much trial and error.

[hurt_confuzd]

Haha. Well, hey, at least you got an honest look at yourself this way. It really does sound like you're in high school. Boys don't really grow up until they start earning their own keep and practicing how to independent, functional adults. This I've learned after much trial and error.

Lahnna. You're in the danger zone.

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3-zaTr6OUo[/url]

[lahnnabell]

Lahnna. You're in the danger zone.

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3-zaTr6OUo[/url]

Holy Shit!

[sceescee89]

I don't have sound on my computer so I can't hear it

He never takes it any further than what I wrote... but it still bugs me. I dunno-- lately in the back of my head, I've been starting to wonder if he is the right person for me. I have thought about breaking up with him. But then when I see him I feel so happy... there are qualities that I don't like but that I can deal with and there are qualities which I absolutely love.

He has tendencies to be very immature and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I feel like he drags me down with him on that level. I have to step away and look at the situation. He had his first temper outbreak last saturday and he apologized, but it really did hurt my feelings. I've been thinking if it happens again I'll more than likely end it. I want someone who respects how I feel. That temper finally showed itself for the first time and I didn't like it. If I see that again... I won't put up with that.

[doppelgaenger]

Why don't you just break up with him? It's quite simple. A girl your age should be able to replace him quickly with someone better.

[lahnnabell]

Because girls her age attach their self-worth to the men they date. It's what makes breaking up so difficult for young ones. It's an ego blow. Once you're over it and realize you can find someone better, it becomes easy. Well, the "finding someone else" part anyway.

[sceescee89]

I dunno-- is it bad that he has said that himself at one point? He said if I just looked elsewhere I would know that there are better guys. He says he thanks god every day that I am still here... but it's like sometimes he takes me for granted. Then when I fall off the radar he pops up. He told me he thought I felt differently about him-- which I do--

I guess I'm scared of doing it. I do care a lot about him. Things are good right now but sometimes (every few weeks or so) I get little bugs in the back of my head that bite at me... you know what I mean?

[lahnnabell]

Don't gloss over the obvious. Things are not good if he's openly disrespecting you by getting cozy with other girls IN FRONT of you.

Do not alter your standards for some douche bag whose only current goal is to garner the attentions of every female within 5 feet of him. He's got his own self-esteem issues which he soothes by bathing in the attention of other females. You are not enough for him in his eyes, though he doesn't see it that way. This is not your fault though, but it will be if you continue to put with his shit.

[sceescee89]

I haven't altered my standards in the slightest, I usually get mad at him and tell him... and then tell him again. I swear he's mentally retarded sometimes.

It's totally true about how he likes female attention. It's all about his family history... he didn't have a mommy and now he just needs women around him. Yes, he most certainly does have self-esteem issues. Absolutely.

You said I'm not enough for him in his eyes? Though it doesn't appear to him that way? What do you mean by that?

[lahnnabell]

You are not enough for him because he thinks he NEEDS this female attention. He doesn't see his behavior as a subconscious cry for attention, but that is what it is. Like I said, he is not self-aware. If you really want him to grow up ever, sit him down and tell him like it is. Don't expect to have a boyfriend afterward. He most likely needs to do some growing on his own. You "talking" to him has done nothing but make you more frustrated with his lack of compromise. Seems like he needs to be shown now.