Is there a Future?

[allie021]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We have talked about marriage and he has said that since he has been married before that he will not get married again or he will, it will just be in 10 to 15 years. He was married before, but his wife had numerous affairs while he was in Marine Corps in Iraq. They have one child together. He feels that he is scared to get married because of the "consequences." We have been living together for almost a year and he has always told me that living together is a preliminary step towards marriage. I know that someday I want to get married, but I know that it is not right now, it will be a couple of years down the road. I love him and I am happy with him. I am sure that I am not being used in the relationship and I know that he has a good heart, but I am confused on what I need to do. Should I stay with him and just see if he is testing me for the future or should I discuss this with him and maybe that may end the relationship? Help.

[Gigabitch]

I think it's always better to talk it out, especially if he's really serious about not being willing to get married for as many as 15 more years. That makes him essentially unavailable, doesn't it?

I think there's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with the potential of going all the way, and it sounds like you're dealing with damaged goods, here. You shouldn't have to pay for the fact that his ex-wife was a cheater.

[bluesummer]

You shouldn't have to pay for the fact that his ex-wife was a cheater.

I fully agree with Giga on this. You're not the one who cheated, so if he can't trust you more, maybe he should think about dropping his baggage before attempting another relationship.

I think its very important you tell him what you want from the relationship. If you are wanting or expecting marriage within the next few years, communicate that with him. You also need to be prepared for the fact that he may not want that, in which case you need to have a decision ready. Maybe you need to consider moving on? Is it important for you to be married, or are you just happy to be with him?