He Loves Me Not

[Annieapple]

My boyfriend is a wonderful man who I have been seeing for 10 months now. I know it's not that long but I have really fallen for him but he doesn't love me.

I have known him for almost 2 years and we started out as friends. I started to feel like he was more than a friend about a year ago. When we started seeing each other neither of us wanted a relationship but after about 3 months I knew I wanted to be with him. I told him that I didn't want to be his f**k buddy anymore and that unless he wanted to be my boyfriend I couldn't handle sleeping with him. I was fully expecting for him to run away - especially since I know he's not really into relationships and he has always stayed away from them as long as I have known him. To my surprise he said that he wanted that too and we have been in a relationship ever since.

The problem is this, I love him and have told him so (i figure honesty is the best policy and I have a hard time keeping my feelings to myself). He responded by telling me that while he cares for me a lot and has a great time hanging round with me that he doesn't love me. He said that he has never really loved anyone (and he's 29 years old!) and that's just the way he is. I respect him for being honest with me and know that he could have just told me he loved me too to shut me up.

He treats me really well, always calls when he says he will, is fun and generous and is attentive without being clingy and we have a fantastic time together.
I appreciate his honesty but I am worried that the longer I stay with him the more it will hurt that he doesn't feel the same way. I am also scared that he will meet someone who he does fall in love with and will leave me for her.

I spoke to him about my fears and he says that he is happy with me and doesn't want anyone else. He really likes what we have together but just doesn't think it is love.

Should I stay with him or should I leave and try to find someone who will love me? Do you think he may fall in love over time or that he will never love me?

[lastwish]

If he is telling you he doesn't love you but hangs around, it means that he likes the attention but as soon as another girl comes along, he will forget about you. So, the answer is...leave him and try to find some someone who will love you back.

[carl1222]

Annie ... brutal truth ... he sees you as a f**k buddy and no more by his own words.

Try this ... cut him off from sex and see whether he stays. Tell him you don't want to have sex any more until you are comfortable that there is more to the relationship.

My guess is no.

Sorry.

Carl.