Ex at my door at 5am

[goldline]

Hello

The situation is going a little bit out of control, let me explain shortly:

I dated the same man for two years, for two years his attitude was not that great basically didn't step up to the plate as a boyfriend.
Of course we had good moments, everything was not negative, but that's the roller coaster that I got tired of, one week everything was fine, the next he was MIA playing his computer (gotta love online gaming!).

He also has anger management issues that I have always had a hard time putting up with (like this one time where he was provoking a fight with another driver right by my work place! Or insulting me if I didn't go his way).


I finally broke it off for good.

Now he's begging me to take him back, to move in with him, marry him, wants to give me a child (that's one thing he knows I want). Thing is, it's way too late for me, he's done too much that love is not here anymore and he does not want to hear it.

He buries me with messages on my facebook, calls, and he showed up this morning at 5am with the excuse of offering me a ride to work! I didn't invite him in and asked him to leave. He "changed" too late (I don't believe he changed, I believe he lost his "puppy", me). I just want him to leave me alone and stop hounding me that way.
I do feel bad for him, I have been dumped before, but he also asked for it, I finally respect myself enough not to be with that kind of person, that's the bottom line.

I'm not to the point of going to the police, but I'm to the point where I make sure to lock myself at night and where his constant messages and calls get me tired and unable to rest.

He asked to have lunch or diner with me today, I'd like to know how I can make him understand it's over?

[Maze801]

Tell him no way and to leave you alone. Tell him you dont to get the police involved but he's pushin the limits.
He just has the "don't relise what I have till it's gone" thing goin on now.

[misombra]

ignore him until he goes away. don't answer his calls or texts and take him off your facebook. you would be one great big huge fool to let him get you pregnant.

[Primo]

Honestly it sounds like a situation that could escalate fast. You better start putting up some serious boundaries, with consequence if they're broken.

[valhensing]

i agree with primo! he even has anger management issues!!!

Are you living alone? Can you ask somebody to live with you? Mother? Sister? better not be another guy because he might be delusional and think you're cheating on him (these kind of people think that way)

Dont go out alone at night.

Tell him straight, directly, honestly you dont want him and if he loves you 1 bit, he should leave you alone somewhere with lots of people that you could call for help.

[goldline]

you would be one great big huge fool to let him get you pregnant.

Hell no, not going to happen.

I live alone with no family in my state unfortunately but I can ask the maintenance guy in my apartment complex to add another deadlock to my door.

I'll set up a meeting in a public place, I didn't think about it (and actually didn't even know that strangers could be blocked on my facebook, I'll set it so that he can't contact me). But that's why I came here to have an outside opinion.

It's just too bad that it got to that point. I'd add that if you ex broke up, the best way to push him or her away is to act psycho and needy.

[Primo]

I live alone with no family in my state unfortunately but I can ask the maintenance guy in my apartment complex to add another deadlock to my door.

I'm not concerned about him breaking down the door like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. There's other more vulnerable places, like walking to and from your car at the complex, at work, at the store.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, but it seems like you're genuinely afraid. You may want to think about documenting the instances it occurs. Orders of no contact aren't handed out like Tic-Tac's, it takes a history.

[nonconformist]

Don't be shy, get a restraining or personal protection order.

[goldline]

I do walk my dog in the evening, it is dark, and I'm in a routine.. true.

Well yes I'm worried, he keeps sending me "i miss you, I love you" voicemails and such.. and I'm a bit freaked out by his lack of understanding of my statement: "I don't love you anymore". I know it was a harsh statement but don't we deserve the truth when one breaks up with us? Like I said I have been dumped before, I have my share of broken hearts, just never hounded someone like that.

He's been saying that he's depressed, a friend of mine when he was young was in a similar situation and the girl tried to kill them both in a car accident! (if you want a good laugh.. she ended up marrying .. his brother!).
Now it wasn't a good story to tell me with what I'm facing, not saying he's going to stuff me into his car.. just makes me think about the "what if".

I have to run a few errands tomorrow, I'll drop by the police station see what they say.

[Primo]

I have to run a few errands tomorrow, I'll drop by the police station see what they say.

Good girl, better safe than sorry