Shouldn't bother me but...

[Raiders47]

I've been dating a girl now for about a month and we're pretty into each other. I'm 18 and she'll be 17 in less than a month. I'm still a virgin by choice and we've been just talking about past partners recently. I've always thought she was a virgin but last night I found out she lost it when she was 15. It shouldn't bother me because I really like her but for some reason every time I think about it, it gets to me. I don't know why I feel this way, but it's the same feeling you get when you get betrayed (I don't feel betrayed, just comparing feelings) or you learn something that you wish you didn't. I feel like if I had known before we started going out that i'd be fine because I've dated girls that aren't virgins and it was no problem.
So the question is anyone else have a problem like this or know what I'm feeling? Is it some weird form of overprotection?

[Doc Durian]

Maybe you just really like her and had a really pure possibly naive expectation that you'd lose it together, only to find out that you're alone.... while simultaneously together with her?

Have you considered that her loss of virginity happened a couple of years ago and she's with you now? That sort of implies that her loss wasn't to someone she wanted to be with, where as she's from all apparent suggestions... with someone she WANTS to be with.

I lost mine to someone I wouldn't spit at in hindsight... she was totally wrong on so many levels. And inbetween the months, often years where I shun relationships (ie. sex, as it's where I solely get mine), time and lapsing memory finds me just as giddy and apprehensive about making love to a new lover as my first time...

...but with the added benefit of choosing better partners.

Maybe she's chosen a better partner and it's just as important to her, just as new to her, as you.

Consider it...

[Raiders47]

Thanks Doc, I needed someone to tell me to think about those things

[Rollerderby]

it's because you really like her, and you kinda want to loose your thanggggg to her.

Guys are weird about this. Maybe everyone is in the beginning. Sex means more when you haven't had it before. But after you get beyond that part where you want to kill everyone your partner has ever slept with, you see that your partner was a person before, after and during your existence with them.

Should she have waited her whole life to sleep with you? Why? Are you going to marry her? What if you sleep with her, and then you break up, and then she meets someone new who is like, what the ****? why didn't you wait for me?

Sex is a sharing experience. She might have been too young. Having sex too young, most people regret it when older. You aren't ready for it yet, but with a lot of girls, they don't know that. Their friends have it, it's advertised to them a lot on tv (Jonas Brothers, sexy Miley Cyrus, True life of an American teenage girl, are just some examples. In my day it was the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears.) and they think, hey this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Really, your girlfriend is just like most girls. Innocent in mind and heart, but no longer body. Well, that's if you place sex as a physically pure thing. If she's had one single partner, maybe you could teach her what love really is. Do you love her? Could you love her? Love is a bit more complex than sex.