Is it possible to remain friends with a ex g/f?

[Mrc72]

A bit of a back ground on us;

I had a brief relationship with a woman for 3 months , we are both in our 30's. We went on holiday and while on holiday the flame/spark we had seemed to die, cant pin it down why, i know on my side i was nervous/apprehensive about going away on holiday so soon and i wasnt totally relaxed so maybe this contributed to the dynamicss changing. After coming home still felt the same she was distant and I was feelin on edge not knowning what was going on, not relaxed, free flowing, we chatted and both decided it was best to end our relationship rather than let it go on (ocassionally a break can do wonders) and we both said it was a shame as we get on well and have same interests etc. maybe on a relationship level we were not meant to be, so we parted on mutual terms and it did come up that she would be happy to maintain frienship, however i also know people say that to be polite.

Anyway time has gone on and even though we didnt work out on a relationship level, i would like to develop our friendship and i am thinking of dropping her a line something along the lines of the following;

Even though the Fleming experience was a brief one, I was thinking about our time together and despite the fact the flame did not ignite between us (maybe our holiday was to soon, for me anyway), occasionally, what you get out of it is someone with good qualities who has a zest for life (not to mention a cheeky side) and with you I have. I value the friendship we started to develop and i would like to stay in touch, with no expectations and get together from time to time and enjoy the fun things (anything from movie to the great outdoors,etc). Just because we didn't work out relationship-wise, maybe we can be good as friends. If it's possible this would mean a lot to me, but if you are not comfortable with this , i understand.

your thoughts on this message how it sounds etc if you received it how would you feel ? etc.

[Cbrider]

I would receive the note happily, its a little long to get to the point with detail, but thats you're style not mine

Generally the rule is that no, its not really possible to stay friends with an ex. Your situation is the only real exception. When its a mutual break it's a lot easier to digress back to the friendship level without emotional fallout. The two criteria I can think of that you need to make sure are filled to pull it off would be:

1.) Theres no hard feelings over anything, neither person holds a grudge or a chip on their shoulder about anything.

2.) Seeing him/her with another person or in the arms of another person wont set off an emotional overload.

If you can both answer yes to those two things see where it goes imo.

[Mrc72]

thank for your words, yes sometimes i can go a on a bit in the message, mystyle i guess !! haha

Anyway, i personally believe every relationship is different in the way it ends, i have been in relationships long term and no couldnt be friends because of the emotional attachment / reasons why it ended etc. However this one is different, yes i fancied her of course, but the emotional feelings hadnt developed deeply & i can answer 1 and i am sure she can as well, like she said to me at the time, neither of us had done anything wrong , the spark just didnt develope like it should and that is true, so no bad feelings. As for number 2, again as this was a brief relationship i do not see any problem and we dont live in the same town anyway. If we had got more involved things mabe different, however as we had not got to that stage (it was more at a dating level) then i feel things will be fine, of course if this is something she wants . Its weird, sometimes you dont click at a relationship level , however on a friendship level you may get on just great. At the end of the day, you shared similar interests and and get on well and thats the basis of a friendship

[Lonely Island]

Nope, there is no possible way for you to be friends with your ex

At least that's how I feel