Is this really the end?

[mpkr69]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 1/2 years. We began as high school sweethearts and ended up attending college together.
As with any relationship, we had our ups and downs where I felt out of love and so did she. However, we always seemed to find that missing love within our hearts.
We had been planning for several months on moving in with each other. I felt that it was the next step we needed to take in this relationship although I knew she was a bit nervous about it.
This past weekend, she dropped a bomb on me. She told me that over the past few months that she had lost feelings for me and that she did not want to move in together. She told me that she loved me and always will, but that she did not feel "in love".
After a short conversation, she decided that she was going to move out of state back with her parents and that would be it.
I was totally shocked. In fact, I am still in disbelief since I did not see this coming. I just do not see how she can turn her back on everything we have built up. She swore up and down that there was not anyone else and I do believe her as she is not that type of person. I just wonder if she got cold feet or something about this moving in thing.
She has had a rough year... she did not get into medical school, she wrecked her car, lost her last friend, and she misses her family dearly. I wonder if she is just depressed and as a result, thinks she's out of love.
She leaves in a week and a half and I told her not to go. She seems confident in her decision, but I somehow know that she will regret this. Should I keep trying? What could I say to her? Has anyone ever experienced this? If so, what happened?
Please help. I am severely heartbroken and I do not know what to do.

[IceQueen]

Okay, something wrong here. Explain this to me please.

...moving in with each other. I felt that it was the next step we needed to take in this relationship although I knew she was a bit nervous about it.

See, I don't like the word "needed" here. It sounds like the relationship had been falling apart for a while by then, and you somehow thought that moving in together will change that. It wouldn't have.

In any case, cut your losses and move on. You don't want a partner who is unsure about whether she wants to be with you or not.

[peshkunta]

Well, if it had been true love, it would be here to stay. What I mean is, true love does not just fade. What she had for you was probably an infatuation, if that. See, it seems sometimes we settle just to have someone and then we realize that it was not enough. It sucks, but that seems to be the situation with you. If I were you, I would move on.

PS I notice how everyone when they post and explain a relationship gone bad, have so many excuses for that person like in your case (She has had a rough year... she did not get into medical school, she wrecked her car, lost her last friend, and she misses her family dearly). Again, (true) love withstands far bigger obstacles with ease. You do not want a relationship that barely hangs on, and falls apart by the first sign of trouble.

__________________
If a shoe don't fit, cutback on the burgers and repeat!

[Illusional]

to be honest, i don't believe she is scared of moving in with you. i think over the past few months or so, she's been thinking differently of you and before taking another step foward, she decided to tell you that she is thinking differently. i feel that she has been in this relationship for a while and has fallen out of love with you. she'll always love you, but not with the passion that once drove her fire before. raverboy

[julie]

Originally posted by mpkr69
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 1/2 years. We began as high school sweethearts and ended up attending college together.
As with any relationship, we had our ups and downs where I felt out of love and so did she. However, we always seemed to find that missing love within our hearts.
We had been planning for several months on moving in with each other. I felt that it was the next step we needed to take in this relationship although I knew she was a bit nervous about it.
This past weekend, she dropped a bomb on me. She told me that over the past few months that she had lost feelings for me and that she did not want to move in together. She told me that she loved me and always will, but that she did not feel "in love".
After a short conversation, she decided that she was going to move out of state back with her parents and that would be it.
I was totally shocked. In fact, I am still in disbelief since I did not see this coming. I just do not see how she can turn her back on everything we have built up. She swore up and down that there was not anyone else and I do believe her as she is not that type of person. I just wonder if she got cold feet or something about this moving in thing.
She has had a rough year... she did not get into medical school, she wrecked her car, lost her last friend, and she misses her family dearly. I wonder if she is just depressed and as a result, thinks she's out of love.
She leaves in a week and a half and I told her not to go. She seems confident in her decision, but I somehow know that she will regret this. Should I keep trying? What could I say to her? Has anyone ever experienced this? If so, what happened?
Please help. I am severely heartbroken and I do not know what to do.

MP -
My best friend is actually going through this right now. This is probably the WORST situation on this bored. - I know this doesnt make you feel any better, but at least you know that your not pathetic (which a lot of people on this bored unjustly feel they are) - The reason this is the worst is because this has true substance, heart and soul involved.

The thing is buddy, is that you got together in high school.. you were what? 17 - 18 years old? 5 -6 years is a long ass time. You're probably 24, 25 years old.

Now you tell me. What could you possibly have in common with yourself now that you did then when you were a kid in high school? You've changed. And so has she. feelings change, people change, desires change... (and if not, you need to)

And both of you have totally missed out on the stupid college drunken sex recklessness of life. How many girls have you met between high school and now that you've messed around with, and gotten all the curiosity out of your system? My guess, if you've been faithful is none. Same goes for her.

Bottom line is, give her space if she needs it. Let her go. Ever heard of the saying "If you love it, let it go - If it loves you, it will come back?" This is true. And in the meantime, live your life a little. I know this is easier said than done, but dont clip her wings. if you are the best thing thats ever happened to her and she loves you, she wont be gone long.