.....because I'm getting old and I think about shit way too much. Anyone else have this problem?
When I was a kid, Christmas was magical and exciting. Everything about it gave me the warm fuzzies.....Christmas carols, baking cookies, lights on houses, chopping down the tree (yes, a live tree) and decorating it, all that stuff. Now I sit back and wait for the spark to happen and it just doesn't. The only time I really really feel something is when I'm around kids at Christmas and I experience it vicariously through them. (Maybe this means I should have kids soon?)
The other thing is that I've detached myself so much from religion that it drives me crazy that I'm celebrating a holiday that's centred around something I don't even believe in. The Christmas carols have no meaning because they sound hypocritical coming from my mouth. I am almost on the verge of exasperation sitting in Christmas Eve mass with my fiance's family.
This holiday has become, for me, all about buying shit and spending time with my family. I don't know if I'll ever get the old feeling back and that sorta makes me sad.