How to sort out this mess?

[tallguyuk]

Hi, please bear with me as I try to explain my situation.

I work in a predominantly male environment, but there are some females there too. There is one girl who I absolutely adore. She's fun, intelligent, completely her own person, sexy, gorgeous, has a great smile, and completely fabulous. Normally, I don't have too many problems speaking to women, but for the past few years, I've not really dated but have generally seen women as "fun". Well, this girl has my stomach doing flip-flops, she makes me feel powerless and I love that, and find myself really happy when I'm around her. I don't think of her as a bit of fun, she's a great person who I actually want to date.

Now here comes the problem. Firstly, I have no idea how she feels about me. Anyway, in an attempt to try and find out, 2 nights ago I had dinner at her place and some wine before going into town to meet up with a load of the other guys from work. Now these guys were all extremely drunk and being very flirty with the girl. I became very nervous and started to drink a lot lot more and very quickly became rather drunk too. As a result, I became quite clingy and just weird - I suppose it was the nerves.

At the end of the night, she left. I don't think with anyone else, but I don't know. I sent her a text saying how much a fancy her and did she want to go out for dinner. That seemed like a god idea at the time but the following morning, I realised it wasn't. So to try and sort it out, I text her saying I wouldn't have told her that if I was sober. No reply to either texts as yet, but later in the day I went to pick up my car and called at her house but she wasn't in. So I sent a further text saying I had just got my car, wanted to talk to her but not it. Sorry for being a knob and have a good Christmas. I later got an instant message from her saying don't worry about last night. Well, I replied saying that's good, but actually I did mean what I said although being drunk and not saying it to her face wasn't my best idea ever, and that I'd genuinely like to just go out for a drink and chat and to let me know. She hasn't got back to me yet.

Now this is my main problem. I guess she now thinks I was just after a bit of drunken fun, I don't know. Obviously I'm not going to keep pestering her and being on leave for 2 weeks means I won't see her until I'm back at work in the new year. However, if she doesn't get back to me what do I do? Should I text her Merry Christmas and Happy new year at the right times, or just leave all contact out for a while? I'm thinking to send her those, and ask her just before I go back to work if she wants to go for a drink on the Sunday night when I get back to the area. She now knows how I feel, so if she says no then it's a good bet that she doesn't like me like that. Really, I suppose I just want to know where I stand.

Some advice on how to sort this out, with the best possible outcome would be great. I appreciate if she's not into me then I won't be able to do much more than be friends, but I am definitely hoping for a relationship. She's great and I just cannot get her out of my mind.

Thanks for reading.

[Spring Haze]

I later got an instant message from her saying don't worry about last night. I replied saying that's good, but actually I did mean what I said although being drunk and not saying it to her face wasn't my best idea ever, and that I'd genuinely like to just go out for a drink and chat and to let me know. She hasn't got back to me yet.

You realize it wasn't a good idea, yet you do it again, only this time sober.

It's generally a bad idea to date coworkers.

You've contacted her enough, if not too much already. She knows you're interested, and if the feeling is mutual, she'll reciprocate. Who knows - maybe she was interested but your impersonal way of going about things turned her off.

[stevejohnson197]

sorry dude.....you dug your grave about 6 feet deeper the next day with the incessant texting...

[shheadz]

You could try backing way off.. for like.. a month. Give her time to forget what a fool you are. Then try approaching her again for something simple like drinks after work.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you're in the service. Being that it's an all male environment, and you're on "leave" right now. That makes it sound doubly dumb to get involved with a co-worker. If things don't work out between you, you're really stuck together.

[tallguyuk]

Thanks for your advice. I've been thinking about this myself, and apart from a happy christmas text, I'm going to wait until I see her at work. I shan't ask her out again, but just concentrate on being friends. If we're suited to each other and it moves on to more than friendship then that's a bonus. But at least I'll still have her friendship, which I value and I'd be gutted if I lost that>