Worse Instead of Better

[senokotmax]

I'm starting to lose the plot with this now. It's been five months and she seems to have completely moved on to her single life. Seems fine and doesn't miss me at all. Doesn't reply to any texts, emails or phone calls, and the one occasion I turned up at her house she did not answer (didn't even know it was me outside though).

I'm starting to feel like I can't go on like this anymore. That my life cannot be the same again, and that I've lost my one true love. Sounds crazy but leaving the tap running in the bath and going to sleep is sounding more and more like an option as the days wear on...

There HAS to be a better way than this. Something I can do.

[DarkHelmet82]

well, i went to a doctor and got some medication... took a week.. but its stablizing my moods and although I still think about her I dont want to cry everytime anymore.

[oldskool83]

did somthing happen, did yous break up? kinda not enough info to really know whats up or why this happened if thats the real answer your searching for.

[Renwo]

Five months is a long time.

You need to accept the fact that she has moved on and there was a reason it didn't work out between you. It's all in the head. Once you come to terms that it is definitely over, and there is no more hope, it will be easier every day.

[OmnicronPercei8]

There IS hope, but it isn't with your ex. I know not every situation is the same, but one of these days you're going to get tired of feeling this way and do whatever it is you need to do to CHANGE the feeling but not by ending it all. That's just selfish and think about all the heartbreak you'd put on the people who actually do care about you.

[senokotmax]

We were together for five years and it was a good relationship. I was happy with her; but I did not see her as often as I wanted to as she stayed with her parents, so I really only saw her on weekends. It was fine though and I could live with it but I used to spend my weeks counting down to Friday so I could see her.

There were irritations which bubbled over. She made no effort with my friends. She wouldn't visit my family who were very welcoming of her. She didn't want to do anything other than watch TV and go to the cinema.

I started to get frustrated, seeing my single friends going on holidays, going out, visiting new towns, meeting new people, getting drunk. The frustrations which ultimately led to me pushing her away, and her longing for the single life. Now she is single I suspect she feels "free" from those shackles. Strangely she has started going out, going for walks, hanging with friends, going to parties and stuff now. Our breakup came a couple of months before she finally moved out of her parents house (we are both 25).

I don't know how to get through to her and convince her that she is ALL that I want in life and all my frustrations are gone; and how sorry I am that it took us breaking up for me to realise it.

She ignores all of my texts now because I managed to royally infuriate her by visiting her parents after the breakup. She thinks I did it to cause trouble which is not true - but she doesn't even want to be friends now because of it. I had said to her parents something about an ex boyfriend of hers maybe being back on the scene, which was stupid of me.

Text her today saying how much I was struggling with this and that I was making an appointment with my doctor. These are the texts I have received from her today:

“Antidepressants are addictive. Not a good idea IMHO. You burnt your bridges with me when you said to my mum and dad about John Wallace. I need space! You said you were going to stop texting me. I don’t take satisfaction from this! Im not worth it”

“Antidepressants are not the answer!”

“You just need to forget about me! Its not that bad. It will get better”

“You have a new job and friends. That’s what you shud put your energy into! If you hate me you’ll soon forget me and be glad to be rid”


I've send the usual replies, ie that she is everything to me, I will never hate her, I love her more than anything, etc etc etc.

What do I do!? How can I get her back!?

[DarkHelmet82]

actually antidepressents are NOT addictive.. depending on what you are taking.. Im on lexapro and its actually quite good. I am not a pill popper either. I hate taking meds unless necessary.

[Wakeup]

There were irritations which bubbled over. She made no effort with my friends. She wouldn't visit my family who were very welcoming of her. She didn't want to do anything other than watch TV and go to the cinema.

And.... you want to be with her, why? Chances are extremely high that the minute she has someone steady again she will revert back to her sloth-like demenour.

Dude: No contact is for aiding you to move on and get over the habit of being in each other's life. It's not a strategy to get someone back (contrary to popular believe due to some jerkoff trying to sell his E-book).

Time to accept that it's over. Do some of that travelling you wanted to do with friends, Be an interesting person and you will find that woman will find you of interest. There is definately someone who is more compatible with you in general. Give up your habit called "old girlfriend" and pick up something new to occupy your time.

P.s. Your desperate pleadings are very unattractive. Particularily since she's spelled in out clear and plain that she's moved on. No woman (at least no confident woman of self worth {the kind you should want to be with}) will find that charming or inviting in any which way. Remember this for future: When someone is running away from you don't chase them. Doing that just makes them more determined to get away.

[DannyH]

Dude: No contact is for aiding you to move on and get over the habit of being in each other's life. It's not a strategy to get someone back (contrary to popular believe due to some jerkoff trying to sell his E-book).

lmfao that made my day

[senokotmax]

And.... you want to be with her, why? Chances are extremely high that the minute she has someone steady again she will revert back to her sloth-like demenour.

Dude: No contact is for aiding you to move on and get over the habit of being in each other's life. It's not a strategy to get someone back (contrary to popular believe due to some jerkoff trying to sell his E-book).

Time to accept that it's over. Do some of that travelling you wanted to do with friends, Be an interesting person and you will find that woman will find you of interest. There is definately someone who is more compatible with you in general. Give up your habit called "old girlfriend" and pick up something new to occupy your time.

P.s. Your desperate pleadings are very unattractive. Particularily since she's spelled in out clear and plain that she's moved on. No woman (at least no confident woman of self worth {the kind you should want to be with}) will find that charming or inviting in any which way. Remember this for future: When someone is running away from you don't chase them. Doing that just makes them more determined to get away.

My head says "wise words". My heart overpowers it and says "never give up".

[BeStrong]

And.... you want to be with her, why? Chances are extremely high that the minute she has someone steady again she will revert back to her sloth-like demenour.

Dude: No contact is for aiding you to move on and get over the habit of being in each other's life. It's not a strategy to get someone back (contrary to popular believe due to some jerkoff trying to sell his E-book).

Time to accept that it's over. Do some of that travelling you wanted to do with friends, Be an interesting person and you will find that woman will find you of interest. There is definately someone who is more compatible with you in general. Give up your habit called "old girlfriend" and pick up something new to occupy your time.

P.s. Your desperate pleadings are very unattractive. Particularily since she's spelled in out clear and plain that she's moved on. No woman (at least no confident woman of self worth {the kind you should want to be with}) will find that charming or inviting in any which way. Remember this for future: When someone is running away from you don't chase them. Doing that just makes them more determined to get away.

Agree 100%. Why on earth do you want her back when you clearly weren't even that happy with her in the first place?

Chasing after her and pleading will only push her further away from you, which in a way is a good thing to be honest, as the relationship clearly didn't work.

Time to move on and work on yourself instead of wasting your energy on someone who doesn't want you. You're now single and therefore fully available to meet someone who does complement you and make you happy.

[senokotmax]

Agree 100%. Why on earth do you want her back when you clearly weren't even that happy with her in the first place?

Chasing after her and pleading will only push her further away from you, which in a way is a good thing to be honest, as the relationship clearly didn't work.

Time to move on and work on yourself instead of wasting your energy on someone who doesn't want you. You're now single and therefore fully available to meet someone who does complement you and make you happy.

I think you fall in love with a person and the personality. Character flaws and things that they do come along with the territory and for the relationship to last and survive, couples have to compromise and accept flaws. Her flaws were not the end of the world and I could live with them and they did not bother me a HUGE amount, not in comparison to how happy she made me when we were together.

Made mountains out of mole hills and lost her.

[JennaBella]

Sorry to say this but you are showing very "typical male" characteristics here! You didnt want her enough while you had her so you finished with her. She has done a bit of self improvement, got off her backside and got a life and suddenly you want her back. You want her so badly because you can't have her. She's now a challenge, bit of excitement. But at the end of the day she is who she has always been and if you do suceed in getting her back.... It probably won't last. Sorry to be harsh, but I think you need to look at your situation objectively instead of stamping your feet and crying it's not fair. Lifes not fair, most people on this forum know that only too well!
I hope you get what you want and if you do, you'll treat her better and accept her for who she is.

[senokotmax]

Sorry to say this but you are showing very "typical male" characteristics here! You didnt want her enough while you had her so you finished with her. She has done a bit of self improvement, got off her backside and got a life and suddenly you want her back. You want her so badly because you can't have her. She's now a challenge, bit of excitement. But at the end of the day she is who she has always been and if you do suceed in getting her back.... It probably won't last. Sorry to be harsh, but I think you need to look at your situation objectively instead of stamping your feet and crying it's not fair. Lifes not fair, most people on this forum know that only too well!
I hope you get what you want and if you do, you'll treat her better and accept her for who she is.

How, in your opinion, would I go about getting her back...?

[BeStrong]

She'll come back to you only if she wants to. Nothing you can say or do will influence that. Your actions can only push her further away.

Do nothing, get on with your life and who knows what the future may bring.