How do I handle this situation

[lilxcutie53]

So my bf is a bit immature...and likes to poke at people for attention even if its negative or a put down.
Tonight, I was at a bar with some friends and him..and my friends arent particularly the coolest. I'll admit..they are a bit socially awkward, but ive known them for so long that it would be wrong of me not to be their friend. anyways, my bf can be a bit cocky..so of course he thinks my friends are lame. He has fun with them, and jokes around, but he also doesnt think they are the coolest. anyways, so one of my friends tonight decided to go have sex with one of his friends...the deal was that she and the guy were gonna go back to his house, and then me, my bf, and my friends were going to be her up on the way home from the bar. I didnt know that it was going to take an hour or so and one of my friends was getting antsy, bc she works in the morning and wanted to get home so she could sleep. Of course my bf is drunk, and tries to tell her that its ok to stay out 1 hr later then expected (in a jerkish tone) anyways, so we finally leave the bar. and I asked him if he ever texted my sister back. The story behind that is, that earlier today my sister texted him to see if he had any weed. Now, my sister can be a bitch and a brat. and my bf thinks so too. anyways, when I asked if he texted her back he was like "no, im not texting that bitch back" eventually, my friends and I start telling him that even tho he has that opinion about her, which I agree with him that hes not allowed to say it out loud, only I am. And that since he is my bf, he can have those opinions, but keep them to himself. I pretty much told him that he cant ever be mad if I talk shit about his family to him then. Now that he has arise out of my friends he continues to bicker with them about this...and it was getting annoying bc he was being rude to my friends. I didnt wanna say anything to him then, bc I thought it would be inappropriate to do so in front of people.

I dont really know how to handle situations like this, because if I let it go then ill just forget about it and then he still able to talk to my friends like that. I dunno if I would over reacting either....Hes not like a BIG jerk...hes just immature and acts like hes 5 yr old making fun of people.

oh and after awhile he finally calmed down..bc I was ignoring him and then once I dropped him off he asked what the plans were for tomorrow..I told him I would hang out with him...I dunno if I should or not. I dont know what the right thing to do is.

any advice on what I should say would be appreciated..

[Mish]

There are so many things wrong here that I don't even know where to start...

For instance, why is your sister asking your bf for illegal drugs? Is that considered normal in your circle?

[lilxcutie53]

lol its not what they were texting about...its just the situation.

[nerdy_guy]

You're back! Is this still the same boyfriend who usually puts you on the last of his priority list?

Well, I'd say, talk to him tomorrow about his attitude. I'm expecting he'll be all defensive about it and it would end up in an argument. You'll be back by then
It really starts to feel that this guy doesn't really have any respect for you at all. That's the usefulness of being drunk I guess, all the trash that's being kept in his mouth tends to spill out. That means you'll know how he really feels about you and the people that surround you.

[lilxcutie53]

He doesnt do it all the time...I feel like its only when something doesnt go his way or something turns him off. we can go plenty of nights when were both drunk and him not say anything, but when a situation occurs where there is slight conflict it triggers him. He doesnt say anything mean to me...a situation that would occur where he would say something to me would be like things that he doesnt necessarly like about me that are just easy things to get over. not bad things at all things like if him, I and some ppl are at his house drinking and I want to go to bed early..he will see that as lame, because I am not staying up with everyone else. Im also 22, getting tired of drinking all the time and want to start my career. Im kinda over the whole staying up til 3am thing. When he didnt have his internship this summer that is what he liked to do, but now that he has his internship where he has to get up at 6 is has matured a lot more bc he cant drink as much or he will be hung over so he doesnt want to go out as much. I'm assuming that me going to bed early made him look like he had a lame gf, which killed his ego and made him look uncool..but get over that seriosuly. so when he said something to me about it or w.e he was like "ok, be unsocialable..' and I said "yep..going to bed..see ya later" its one of things where I dont really care. Im doing what I gotta do and if he doesnt like it, thats his problem and he is choosing to date someone like that, bc we've been together for a year and I havent changed, so he can get over it. that was just one situation..it only happens maybe once every few months were he gets like that.

but I also think he does it out of frustration. Its easier to make fun of the person or talk about the person in a negative manner then actually constructively stating what ur opinion about that person is....
In some ways..his parents are very much the same..atleast his mom is..him and his mom were fighting and she called him a bad kid. the thing is that he doesnt come from a bad family. he has 4 brothers and sisters, 2 dogs, his parents both have high paying jobs, live in a nice house, he goes to school, he has job goals, etc.

I dunno sometimes I talk bad about his friends, obviously not in front of them....but ill say things like "ur friends just need to go to school..they arent going be getting any girls to date if they act like losers all the time" (his friends always want girls) or il be like "ur friend is such an idiot" or something...but I dont talk about his family to him..his sisters are fat, I would never say out loud that htey are fat, but I would call them bitches. and I would say something to him about his mom, being a bitch like that, but at the same time I sometimes side with his parents when it comes to things they are yelling at him about. his parents the other day were fighting with him because my bf was mad about the fact that his sister is always watching TV on the good TV and that the TV down stairs sucks..basically being a brat. and his mom was like "well u should be happy that there is even a TV down there" I agree with them that he was acting like a spoiled brat, but I dont agree with them calling him a bad kid..

Like my friends are losers at home...i've never really had a good group of friends here. he would never say anything abd about myy friends from school tho. but my friends here have different morals then I do and I hardly have things in common with them. I just feel like he doesnt learn how to be respectful to people, but im assuming that because of the way his family acts with one another.
one of things that I was thinking of saying to him was "I;m not gonna bring my friends around you anymore if u continue to disrespect them like that." It was like my friend wanted to leave bc she had to get up early and was complaingin about it. and chris said to me that she was being selfish and we should wait for my friend to finish doing what she was doing with his friend. and then once he spoke abour my sister...him and my friend got in a little tiff about how he should treat my sister or talk about my sister. I just stayed out of it, because I knew what she was saying was just going to go thru one ear and out the other, so I just turned the radio up so they had to stop talking...
sometimes I feel like I have to act like a mom to him, because some respectful things were not taught by his family and its like I gotta teach him. but im starting to not care...it takes too much energy to try and train someone

I dunno..im kinda frustrated..I really really like...he's only like this 30% of the time. I can deal with his other lil bratty ways easily so it doesnt affect me, only this does.

[girl68]

I think you're both done in this relationship.