I'm scarily obsessed with my best friend who's also my ex-girlfriend...

[ShotSkydiver]

a.k.a. Why The Hell Am I Asking For Advice On The Internet

Anyways, girl and I dated for about four and a half months from October 2009 - February 2010... reason we broke up is because I got jealous and insecure and possessive and basically controlling her life in fear that she would break up with me if I wasn't with her all the time... all that fun stuff.

After we broke up I was devastated, except instead of what normally happens where she goes away and I get over her after a hard month or two, we remain friends the very next week. Kind of hard to get away from a girl you go to school with, but I'd be lying if I said I wanted to get away from her.

Fast forward 8 months from then, we've hooked up again on and off and grown to best friends. Except, nothing has changed. I'm still the posessive little b*tch I was 8 months ago. Only reason she still talks to me is because she's so forgiving. Now, things have gotten worse and I realize something has to happen, or this will go on forever.

I wish there was some way I could just not see her for months, but I mean... we go to the same school, we have the same classes, all of my friends are her friends and vice versa, avoiding her is impossible and I don't even want to do it.

I thought about dating someone else, even tried liking them... two things happened, I just thought of the girl I'm obsessed with the whole time, and second, I just started becoming obsessed with the new girl. Now I'm back to square one. I can't go on like this, hating every guy that talks to her and not being able to tell her myself.

My question to you is, dear Internet, what the hell do I do? It's not as simple as just "moving on". Every day is a reminder of her because she's literally unavoidable. I can't date anyone else to get over her because I still have that obsessive nature. So, yeah. Sorry about the essay.

tl;dr I'm obsessed with a girl who is my best friend and I see every day, how do I get over her

[tehwarlock]

I know exactly how you're feeling. Try to control yourself, meet or focus on someone new. It helped in my case, at least.

[Petalcub]

Hi, shit, that must be horrible.

Listen, I know you dont favour the internet for advice, but Ill tell you there is a lot of support online. Please keep it as an option if the problem goes on for a while.

I really feel for you. Ill tell you about my dilema. I seriously fancy my Boss and after he droped a hint one day I followed it up and have found that there is definately some chemistry between us. But he is my Boss and my boyfriends Boss too! He droped a comment one day that if my Boyfriend wasnt about anymore it would make life easier. Some may say well why doesnt he just tell you he wants you and to leave your Boyfriend, but he is very professional and he knows all three of us would have to live with it. Thats one of the reasons I like him, as he thinks realistically like me. Heart rules head unfortunately.

Really sorry to speak about mysef, its your story thats the point here, not mine.

Anyway, Its bad enough for me being able to speak to him and having to resist every opportunity I can find to send him a mail! So how you must be feeling compared to that is a million times worse.

So, what do you do? Well its a difficult one. I think the only thing you can do is change schools. I cant immagine how you will get through otherwise.

Or, think about this, just sit it out and leave it in the lap of the Gods! But you need to have some sort of plan to follow. You need to make sure that you have some positive affirmations to follow, when you think about this person and you know your thoughts are wrong, then you need to think of the affirmations. It is no good trying to forget her as you cant, its replacement of the thoughts that is the key.

I really hope this helps, Ill tell you, you have helped me. I dont feel so alone now.

Good luck and please keep posting to let us know what happens. Really sorry I couldnt help more x

PC x

[Agape]

Hmm, it's hard . . . the best things are time, distance, and no reminders to get over someone - but you don't even have that?

I would say start dating again and get a new girl but you can't do that till you're over your ex. . . btw, you are naturally "jealous and insecure and possessive and basically controlling"? How about trying to fix these things - take up some hobbies which test yourself and your comfort zone?

[MerryH]

You have no business being around any girl since you can't stop yourself from becoming obsessed with them. I don't mean to insult you, but you really should get your issues under control, possibly with the help of a professional, before you damage yourself and others with your unhealthy behavior.