Friendship?

[IncognitoSir]

So I'd like you guys take on this situation. I have 3 best friends in my life, maybe 6 or 7 regualr friends and thats it. One of my best friends, lets call him GUY. New Year's Eve 2010 I had a few drinks around luch with GUY and another best friend of mine. We got a bit tipsy and had a lot of laughs and parted ways with plans to meet up later that night to bring in the new year together. So everyone gets to our location that we agreed to meet at and GUY is M.I.A. I mean no one can get in touch with this guy. He never called any of us, never texted any one back. Fast forward to new years day.........still no word from GUY, I refuse to call him again. (He has flaked times before) Now, he has done this before and usually I could care less but this was New Year's Eve damnit!
Here we are today and he calls me (20 minutes ago) and I made sure I hit the ignore button. Now, just to be clear, me and GUY were probably as close as best friends could be a few years ago but recently we haven't been seeing eye to eye and as a result don't hang out as much. What would you guys advise one to do in such a situation. We've talked about this crap a few times already and as you can see, it's only worst lol.



P.S. New year's eve night, I call GUY before I leave home and let him know I'm on the way, he informs me that he's getting dressed and he'll meet me there........that was the last time I heard from him/ when he begin to flake.

[smackie9]

He has an interest of the female persuasion that lies elsewhere. When he thinks he's getting something everything else has no importance to him. He's just being a guy.

[IncognitoSir]

He has an interest of the female persuasion that lies elsewhere. When he thinks he's getting something everything else has no importance to him. He's just being a guy.

What you're saying makes no sense to me. Did you even read what I typed?

[VincenzoG91]

No, I think Smackie is right. When my friends and I first hit legal drinking age, we went out to the bars a lot. If one of us hit it off with a woman, he was going to pretty much ignore us friends while he was creeping on her. Sometimes one of us would just disappear because he got lucky and was going home with some woman. It was unsettling at first, and seemed really rude, but getting laid is really important to a young guy, so friends need to be patient and tolerant. One time, we sent one of our friends to pick up fast food while we were watching a football game. McDonald's was only a half-mile away, but he was gone for more than three hours and came back with cold food. Why? He talked a McD's counter girl into going out for coffee with him after she got off work. We were annoyed, but it was also kind of funny and desperate, too.

It's slightly possible that your friend is some kind of special case, with some sort of weird mental or physical problem causing these disappearances. Or maybe he is a masked crimefighter and will never be able to explain his disappearances to his friends. But trust in Occam's Razor... he is probably just putting pursuit of the ladies ahead of his friends. That said, it also means that your friend is a self-centered tool, and you might be happier dropping this friendship.

[doppelgaenger]

I think it's pretty lame you ignored the call, and if one of my friends did that, I'd think pretty lowly of him. I mean, that's how a woman behaves when she is angry at her man.

And I agree with the others - he was probably pulling some moves on a girl or getting laid. Whatever his excuse is, have a little patience. True friends don't get all bitchy and clammed up like that.

[Sonrisa]

^^^^ what???

if someone pulled that stunt on me, guy or girl, that'd be the last of it.
that is highly ignorant and disrespectful.

[IncognitoSir]

Yeah, you guys have a different view of friendship than I do. Myself and my friends live by the code, "bros before hos". Not to mention, this is New Year's Eve, not just some friday night at the bar.


@doppel, so you'de think low of a friend ignoring your call, but it's ok to ditch your friends on new year's eve????? Hmmmmm, whatever you say guy.

[IncognitoSir]

No, I think Smackie is right. When my friends and I first hit legal drinking age, we went out to the bars a lot. If one of us hit it off with a woman, he was going to pretty much ignore us friends while he was creeping on her. Sometimes one of us would just disappear because he got lucky and was going home with some woman. It was unsettling at first, and seemed really rude, but getting laid is really important to a young guy, so friends need to be patient and tolerant. One time, we sent one of our friends to pick up fast food while we were watching a football game. McDonald's was only a half-mile away, but he was gone for more than three hours and came back with cold food. Why? He talked a McD's counter girl into going out for coffee with him after she got off work. We were annoyed, but it was also kind of funny and desperate, too.

It's slightly possible that your friend is some kind of special case, with some sort of weird mental or physical problem causing these disappearances. Or maybe he is a masked crimefighter and will never be able to explain his disappearances to his friends. But trust in Occam's Razor... he is probably just putting pursuit of the ladies ahead of his friends. That said, it also means that your friend is a self-centered tool, and you might be happier dropping this friendship.

Uh huh, that's cool for you I guess, but where I'm from that's called being disrespectful. A friend of mine wouldn't do such a thing. 3 hours to go to mcdonalds, lol. I couldn't trust a person who does things like that, and I'm pretty surprised you would.

[VincenzoG91]

Uh huh, that's cool for you I guess, but where I'm from that's called being disrespectful. A friend of mine wouldn't do such a thing. 3 hours to go to mcdonalds, lol. I couldn't trust a person who does things like that, and I'm pretty surprised you would.

We weren't happy about the cold food, and we teased him mercilessly about the McDonald's girl for weeks afterwards. But this is a young guy thing, and we were all in college at the time. If one of my friends pulled that crap now, I would be more pissed.

[doppelgaenger]

Let us know if you ever find out what exactly happened.

[IncognitoSir]

We weren't happy about the cold food, and we teased him mercilessly about the McDonald's girl for weeks afterwards. But this is a young guy thing, and we were all in college at the time. If one of my friends pulled that crap now, I would be more pissed.

Ah, gotcha, yeah, we're all pushing the later half of our 20's and college was like 3 years ago lol. I see what you mean though.

[IncognitoSir]

Let us know if you ever find out what exactly happened.

Well I spoke with him after my trip to the gym. Workouts usually help me clear my head. According to him, he went to hang out with another friend of ours who was visiting from cali. (he's in the navy) Now, I dont have a problem with that at all, but, at 26 years old, I'd like to think he could use his head a little better and inform his OTHER friends that he's made and executing other plans. Bottom line, he just flaked on us. I've let it go though, its a new year and I'm looking forward to a lot of changes to take place this year! Thanx for you guys input btw!

[Lovable]

Well it's good that he did tell you eventually though.

I've had a friend or 2 like your friend GUY in the past, they would make plans & then not show up or show up way late. I'm an on time & responsible person, so if I'm going to be held up I always call the person/people I'm hanging with to let them know. I also do get peeved when friends haven't showed the same respect.

After the anger wears off, I then think not everybody is the same as me & will think about calling & letting me know what's up. That's not an excuse for bad behavior, because I have let them know how it felt.

[doppelgaenger]

Yeah, that's kind of a dick move to ditch friends you made plans with to go hang with someone else.

Glad you calmed down and decided to hear him out, though.

[xxazurexx]

lol, I've had friends in the past who pulled much worse than that. Needless to say, they are not friends now.