Boyfriend has a jealous female friend who tries to wind me up!

[xxstarxx]

Morning please can you help?! Been with my bf for the past 13 months and he has a female friend that made it very clear she was keen on him. When we first got together she used to either blank me, walk away when I was trying to talk to her or make bitchy comments. Nothing terrible, just subtle, but she'd say just the right things to wind me up. He would remain friends with her and chat to her as tho there were no problem, and never say anything in my defence but yet advised me to either ignore her or to confront her/stick up for myself.

Eventually I had a word on Saturday night. She hadnt been too bad over xmas but Id had enough of the comments and caught her gazing at him from across the pub for an eternity a few days ago and said something on saturday, she replied that it was only banter and said Id lost it, then started laughing at me. I merely said that I was sick of her bitchy remarks and that everybody in the village is friendly with me, so why does she have to stir things up all the time. Boyfriend in the meantime walked out the pub without offering any support whatsoever. Then he told me off for saying something to her. (Yet it was his suggestion). There were only 3 people in the pub at the time, landlord and an older couple so its not like I spoke to her in front of dozens of people. I was upset and shaken by it all, boyfriend walked home alone, left me to it, and when I arrived at his house he was watching sport and eating a plate of sausage rolls as though he hadnt a care in the world.

The lady is 4 years older than him (50 years old), very overbearing, the sort that goes to the pub on her own every weekend and flirts with whoever is there. The comments she made were very petty, like "oh I could never sleep with him because he likes it too hot for me" (implying shed slept with him when really she hadnt but was his cleaner and his heating was set too high!!), then asking him who cooks the best roast dinners, me or her, telling me he always eats her food so why wont he eat the veg I cook him, etc etc, stupid daft little comments that are just made to rile me. Theres dozens more and it just gets to me. Ive made the effort to say hi and try and get along as shes his friend, yet she turned her back and ignored me. They both claim they were never more than friends but they had the sort of flirty friendship where he would pick her up and put her on his lap that sort of thing. And before we got together she fancied the pants off of him.

Shes friends with everyone in the village, I dread new years eve as everybody in the pub will be talking about me and pointing fingers at me after I had a word with her (its a small village and very prone to gossip) and I dont know how she will react with me.

He on the other hand has not mentioned it at all whilst my life is in turmoil. Angers me that whenever we hit troubles, he never offers any support or backup. We previously had another mutual female friend that had said nasty stuff behind my back online to him which he later showed me and he never stuck up for me then either. When my ex hubby came to the door once and was being vicious he hid in the bedroom!!! (well h was already in the bedroom when the door knocked but just stayed there to leave me to sort it through). Sometimes you just need to know your boyfriend is there by your side for a bit of moral support!!

Thanks all, any offers of advice welcome xxx

[honeyb]

Sorry to say your boyfriend sounds like a right loser, I'd start the new year without him. Your boyfriend should be there for you as you are for him, supporting you not running away. He should have told this girl to back off with the comments not you as she's his friend. He may have not wanted to hurt her feeling but his more then happy for her to hurt yours, DUMP HIM.

Picture this one day you have a child together, your child is being bullied at school and the teach suggest the parents sort it out, but the bully's parents are mean, big and rough, who do you thinks going to be going round to their house, him or you?